哈里坦言,28岁前不敢正视母亲的死亡,生活一度陷入混乱,有暴力倾向。
近日,哈里王子在做客访谈节目时,坦言自己在28岁前不敢正视母亲的死亡,有两年生活因此变得“一团混乱”,甚至有打人的冲动。在哥哥威廉王子和亲友的鼓励下,才开始寻求心理辅导。哈里王子称,自己现在“状态很好”,并且希望用自己的经历去影响更多人正视心理健康问题。
Prince Harry has disclosed that he sought counselling after enduring two years of "total chaos" while still struggling in his late twenties to come to terms with the death of his mother.
哈里王子透露,他在快30岁的时候他仍然很难正视母亲的死亡,在经历了两年“完全混乱”的生活之后,他寻求了心理治疗。The Prince says in an interview with The Telegraph that he "shut down all his emotions" for almost two decades after losing his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales, despite his brother, Prince William, trying to persuade him to seek help.
哈里王子在接受《每日电讯报》的采访时表示,母亲戴安娜王妃去世后的近20年里,他将“所有感情封闭”,而他的哥哥威廉王子试图劝说他寻求帮助。以下为节目完整音频:
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Disclosing that he has spoken to a professional about his mental health, he describes how he only began to address his grief when he was 28 after feeling "on the verge of punching someone" and facing anxiety during royal engagements.
哈里透露,他向心理专家倾诉了自己的心理健康问题。他说,28岁时他才开始处理自己的悲伤情绪,之前,他有“打人的冲动”,对皇室活动感到不安。Describing the "quite serious effect" that losing his mother had on his personal and professional life, he tells how living in the public eye left him feeling he could be "very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions".
哈里诉说了丧母对他个人生活和职业生涯的“巨大影响”。他吐露,在公众的目光下生活让他感到“多次陷入崩溃的边缘”。The Prince, now 32, turned to counsellors and even took up boxing. He says he is now in "a good place".
现年32岁的哈里王子寻求心理咨询师帮助,甚至开始打拳击。他说,自己现在的“状态很好”。Prince Harry has decided to give an unprecedented insight into his past in the hope it will encourage people to break the stigma surrounding mental health issues.
哈里王子决定公开他不为人知的过去,希望以此鼓励人们打破对心理健康问题的羞耻感。He has spoken to Bryony Gordon for the first episode of her podcast, Mad World, in which she will interview high-profile guests about their mental health experiences.
哈里王子在布莱尔尼•戈登的播客《疯狂的世界》的首集中接受了采访。戈登将在这个节目中采访知名人士经历的心理健康问题。The 30-minute conversation is one of the most candid insights into the innermost thoughts of a modern young member of the Royal family. The Prince, together with his brother and sister-in-law, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, have set up Heads Together, a charity which promotes good mental well-being.
这段30分钟的访谈是这位英国皇室家族年轻成员最坦诚的内心畅谈之一。哈里王子和威廉王子夫妇联手发起了促进心理健康的慈善组织“Heads Together”。Prince Harry, who was 12 when his mother died, says in the podcast that he spent his teenage years and twenties determined not to think about her.
戴安娜王妃逝世时,哈里王子12岁。他在节目中说,自己的整个少年时期和20多岁时都坚持不去回忆母亲。"I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well," he said.
他说:“可以说,12岁失去母亲,以及为此在过去20年间封闭所有感情,严重影响了我的生活和工作。”"I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions when all sorts of grief and sort of lies and misconceptions and everything are coming to you from every angle."
“当所有悲伤、谎言、误解以及各种的事情从四面八方袭来时,我曾数次几乎彻底崩溃。”Asked whether he had been to see a 'shrink' to offload his thoughts, he said: "I've done that a couple of times, more than a couple of times, but it's great."
当被问及是否曾看过“心理专家”时,他说:“我去过几次,其实是很多次,效果很好。”The Prince admitted that at times he had struggled with aggression and turned to boxing as an outlet for his frustration.
哈里王子承认他有时变得好斗,还用拳击发泄沮丧情绪。"During those years I took up boxing, because everyone was saying boxing is good for you and it's a really good way of letting out aggression," he said.
“在那些年里,我开始打拳,因为所有人都说拳击对你有好处,这是一种发泄戾气的好方式。”And that really saved me because I was on the verge of punching someone, so being able to punch someone who had pads was certainly easier."
“拳击拯救了我,因为我真有打人的冲动,所以能够攻击有护具的人会让我心里舒服一些。”He eventually sought support with the encouragement of his brother and others close to him, who told him: "Look, you really need to deal with this. It is not normal to think that nothing has affected you."
最终,哈里王子在哥哥威廉王子以及其他亲友的鼓励下开始寻求帮助,他们说:“你真的需要解决这个问题。否认自己受到影响这不正常。”Since learning to talk honestly about his feelings, he said, he now feels able to put "blood, sweat and tears" into making a difference for others.
哈里王子称,自从学会坦诚地说出自己的感受后,他现在觉得能够用自己的“鲜血、汗水和眼泪”来影响别人。"The experience I have had is that once you start talking about it, you realise that actually you're part of quite a big club," he said.
“我的体会是,一旦你开始谈论这个问题,你就会发现很多人和你一样。”Prince Harry said of his loss: "My way of dealing with it was sticking my head in the sand, refusing to ever think about my mum, because why would that help?
哈里王子说“我处理这个问题的方式是逃避,拒绝回忆母亲,因为我想这有什么用呢?”"(I thought) it's only going to make you sad, it's not going to bring her back.
“我认为,这只会让人悲伤,而不会让她回来。”"So from an emotional side, I was like 'right, don't ever let your emotions be part of anything'.
“所以,在情感方面,我‘从不让情绪影响任何事情’。”"So I was a typical 20, 25, 28-year-old running around going 'life is great', or 'life is fine' and that was exactly it.
“所以,20岁、25岁、28岁的时候,我就是那种典型的到哪里都表现成‘活的不错’的人,事实也的确如此。”"And then (I) started to have a few conversations and actually all of a sudden, all of this grief that I have never processed started to come to the forefront and I was like, there is actually a lot of stuff here that I need to deal with."
“后来,我开始聊了几次母亲的去世,然后突然之间,前所未有的悲伤开始涌上心头,我发现,事实上,我要面对的问题很多。”He said he now counts himself very lucky that it was "only two years … of total chaos" before he learnt how to talk about it. "I just couldn't put my finger on it," he said. "I just didn't know what was wrong with me."
他说,现在他觉得自己很幸运,因为在他学会如何谈论这个问题之前,“那种一团糟的生活”只持续了两年。“我只是不能去触碰这个问题,我不知道自己到底怎么了。”Even at royal engagements, he said, he had found himself battling a "flight or fight" reaction without properly understanding why. Once he started opening up to friends, he added, he found those same friends felt able to "unravel their own issues".
即便对于皇室活动,他也不知道为什么自己会产生“逃避或者反抗”的抵触情绪。他表示,有一次他对朋友们敞开心扉,然后他发现那些朋友们能够“解开各自的心结”。Dismissing previous speculation he may have suffered mental health issues because of his time in Afghanistan, he said he felt clear that coping with the death of his mother on a very public platform had the greatest impact.
此前有人猜测哈里王子可能因为在阿富汗服役而患上心理问题,他对此否认。他说,他很清楚以公众人物身份面对母亲的死亡对他来说影响极大。"I can safely say it's not Afghanistan-related. I'm not one of those guys that has had to see my best mate blown up next to me and have to apply a tourniquet to both their legs. Luckily, thank God, I wasn't one of those people."
“我可以肯定,这和我在阿富汗服役没关系。我没有亲眼看过自己的战友在身旁被炸飞,也不曾在战友双腿上缠上止血带。谢天谢地,我没有经历过这些。”Prince Harry said his work with the personnel recovery unit, where he listened to wounded, injured and sick servicemen and women talk about serious mental health issues, had proved a turning point in his understanding.
哈里王子说,他在复健部门工作时,听到了伤员、伤病军人们谈论严重的心理健康问题,这让他的看法出现了转折。"I know there is huge merit in talking about your issues and the only thing about keeping it quiet is that it's only ever going to make it worse," he said.
“我发现谈论自己的问题大有裨益,保持沉默只会让事情变得更糟。”"Not just for you but everybody else around you as well because you become a problem. I, through a lot of my twenties, was a problem and I didn't know how to deal with it."
“不止是对你,而是对你周围所有人而言,因为你成为了一个麻烦。在20多岁的大部分时间里,我成了一个麻烦,而我不知道如何去解决。”On eventually seeking help, the Prince said: "It's all about timing. And for me personally, my brother, you know, bless him, he was a huge support to me. He kept saying this is not right, this is not normal, you need to talk to (someone) about stuff, it's OK.
最终哈里王子寻求了帮助,他说:“一切只是时间的问题。对我个人而言,你知道,多亏了我的哥哥,他给了我巨大的支持。他一直告诉我这是不对的,这不正常,你需要和人谈论这个问题,这没什么。”"The timing wasn't right. You need to feel it in yourself, you need to find the right person to talk to as well."
“以前时机不对。你需要自己去感受,你也需要找到合适的人去倾诉。”But he added: "I can't encourage people enough to just have that conversation because you will be surprised firstly, how much support you get and secondly, how many people literally are longing for you to come out."
但是,哈里王子还说:“我不停地鼓励人们将问题说出来,因为首先你会对自己得到的支持感到惊讶,其次,你会发现很多人期望着你走出来。”Confessing he was "a little nervous, a little tight in the chest" about the interview, the Prince said he was determined to make a difference while the younger members of the Royal family are "still interesting" to the public, doing his bit before Prince George, Princess Charlotte and any of his own future children step into the spotlight.
哈里王子坦言,他对这个采访“有点紧张,有些压力”,他决定在公众对皇室家族的年轻成员仍然“感兴趣”时,发挥一些影响,在乔治王子、夏洛特公主以及自己未来的孩子成为公众关注的焦点之前,尽一点绵薄之力。Of his current focus on mental health, he said: "What we are trying to do is normalise the conversation to the point where anyone can sit down and have a coffee and just go 'you know what, I've had a really s--- day, can I just tell about it? Because then you walk away and it's done." He is now in a "good place".
对于自己现在关注的心理健康问题,哈里王子表示:“我们现在试图做的是让心理健康成为一个寻常话题,任何人都可以坐下来,喝着咖啡说‘你知道吗,我今天真的很倒霉,我可以聊聊吗?因为之后你就可以走出来,问题就解决了。”哈里王子说,他现在“状态很好”。"Because of the process I have been through over the past two and a half years, I've now been able to take my work seriously, been able to take my private life seriously as well, and been able to put blood, sweat and tears into the things that really make a difference and things that I think will make a difference to everybody else."
“因为过去两年半的经历,我现在能够认真对待我的工作,认真对待我的私人生活,也能用这些血泪来真正发挥影响,我认为它们将改变每个人。”英文来源:每日电讯报
翻译&编辑:董静
审校:丹妮
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