你能告诉我一件你从未告诉过任何人的事吗? [美国媒体]

Could you tell me one thing you have never toldanybody?

你能告诉我一件你从未告诉过任何人的事吗?



Anonymous
Answered Aug 27
When i was 7 years old.. wevisited our hometown which is in Ranchi, Jharkhand. I remember my age because iwas turning 8 after 10 days. It was a 5 day visit.
There was a man, a respected man it seemed. He was anArmy officer and my grand father's colleague (My grand father was also inIndian Army).
He was really sweet because on the first meet itself, he offered me and mysister lot of chocolates.
One day i was playing and he called me. He held me and started taking me to hishouse (His house was just beside ours). Just after we reached, he handed me abig chocolate and then grabbed me and made me sit on his lap.
He told me to eat the chocolate and i cheerfully tore the wrapper andstarted eating the chocolate that he handed me.
The next moment he slid his hands inside my shorts and soon he startedtouching my private parts. I did not know what he was doing and thought it wasa gesture of showing love. Every day he used to call me.. hand me the chocolateand do the same.
It was later.. i realised what he actually did.... And i was filled withdisgust.
My fate was so worse that i was alloted a premier insititute in Rourkela,Odisha.. after i cleared my entrance exam and had to stop in Ranchi becausethere was no direct flight to Rourkela.
I had to see his filthy face for 4 years straight atleast twice a yearwhen i used to go for vacations.
It was one month before...... I got the news.. That he died of heartattack.
I never told about this incident to anyone... Neither my parents nor myclosest friends.
I never thought such a man who serves the country.. Could do such thing.
And yes.. This is my chance..
#me_too
And i know because of dumb peoplelike me, who are too scared to open their mouth…Rapists and murderers get awaywith their crimes.

在我7岁那年，我们参观了我们的家乡——位于贾坎德邦的兰契。之所以我记得年龄是因为再过10天我就满8岁了。这是一次5天的参观。
有一个男的，似乎是一位受任尊敬的那种人。他是军官，我的祖父的同事（我祖父也是名印度军官）。
他是一个让人喜爱的人，因为第一次见面，他就给我和我妹妹许多巧克力。

有一天，我在玩耍，他叫我。他抓着我然后把我带到了他的房间（他的房间就在我们的旁边）。刚一到，他就给了我一个大大的巧克力，然后抓着我的手让我坐在他的膝盖上。
他让我吃巧克力，我高高兴兴的撕开包装然后吃起了他给我的这个巧克力。
下一刻，他的双手就滑入了我的短裤，很快他就开始触碰我的私人部位。我那时候不知道他在做什么，还在想这是展示爱晚辈的姿态。每天他大都会叫上我，给我巧克力然后做同样的事情。

后来，我意识到他真正做的是什么了。我感到无比的恶心。在奥里萨邦鲁吉拉市，我被分配到第一学会的时候，则是我命运中更加糟糕的经历。在我通过我的入学考试之后，我不得不停留在兰契，因为没有直航鲁吉拉市的航班。
我不得不去直面他那猥亵的脸，4年的度假，每年至少2次。



Anonymous
Answered Jun 5
Switching to anon, as I’m not100% sure that what I’m about to say won’t get me into legal trouble.
My first wife was a horribleperson. After we married and she got laid off, we agreed that I would continueto work outside the house, while she stayed home to raise our children. It wasan arrangement that worked well for a few years.
Over time, it started to becomeobvious that she was spending less time raising the kids and more time playingFarmville. She stopped taking the kids out, allowing the public school systemand cable TV raise our children instead. She began to develop severe healthproblems - hypertension and diabetes among them - in addition to gaining asignificant amount of weight.
When she received the diabetesdiagnosis, I told her - as the cook in the house - that I would adjust ourgroceries and meals to suit the new reality, if she did the research to findout what she needed to avoid and/or introduce, in order to manage her illnessesvia diet (along with the not-insignificant medication that she had beenprescribed). She never did; she expected that I would.
There was emotional abuse. Earlyin our relationship, there was an instance of physical abuse, which inretrospect should’ve raised a red flag. I was young and lonely, and stupidlybrushed it aside (though I didn’t just take it sitting down).
Everything just kept gettingworse and worse, until one day I started having a long-distance affair.
It reminded me of what I was ableto offer. It reminded me that not all women were selfish. It reminded me that Icould be happy.
The affair lasted close to a yearbefore she decided that there wasn’t a future for us. It hurt, but inretrospect I realize that she was more of a life preserver for me than aserious relationship.
About a month after the affairfell apart, I asked for a divorce. The look on her face was one of shock anddisbelief. Hindsight being what it is, I now understand that she failed tobelieve that she wasn’t the greatest thing to walk the Earth, and how I couldresist her charms. Gag.
That’s not what I came here towrite, though.
Six months after separating, Iwent to visit my son. My soon-to-be-ex wife had long been in the habit ofsleeping in very late, well into the afternoon most days.
On that particular day, when Ivisited, she wasn’t up. My son, having gotten home from school earlier, told methat he hadn’t heard her moving around, and asked me to go and check on her.(He apparently had been told not to go into her room for any reason)
I knocked on the door andannounced myself. Got no reply. Knocked and spoke louder. Nothing.
I opened the door and there shewas, still in bed. Sighing, I walked over to the bed and went to shake herawake.
She was cold. Cold and dead. As Ilearned later, she had taken such poor care of herself, that she had anenlarged heart, and it failed.
I started sobbing. I grabbed thephone and called 911, told the operator what had happened. The operator askedif I could perform CPR on her.
I stopped. I said no.
I hold a certificate in first aidand CPR, and have since I was a teenager.
I said no.
There may have been a chance thatshe could’ve been brought back, before the paramedics came around, but I saidno.
I was sobbing not out of grief…But out of relief.
She would’ve used the kids in thedivorce proceedings. She would’ve done whatever she could to make my lifemiserable. She had put me through years and years of misery over 15 years ofmarriage.
And she was dead.
And I was glad.

切换成匿名，因为我不是百分之百确定我要说的话不会给我带来法律上的麻烦。
我第一任妻子是一个很可怕的人。在我们结婚后，她被解雇了，我们都同意，我需要继续在外面工作，而她在家里照顾孩子们。这样的安排维持了数年时间。
后来，她带孩子的时间越来越少，玩开心农场的时间越来越多，越来越明显。她不再带孩子出门，允许公立学校和有线电视来代替自己带孩子。她开始慢慢出现严重的健康问题——包括高血压和糖尿病——再者就是体重的显着增加。

当她当她收到糖尿病诊断的时候，我告诉她——在家做做饭——我建议要调整外面的生活用品和肉食来适应新的现实，如果她做过研究就会发现，她需要避免或者需要做什么，为了通过日常饮食来管控她的疾病（以及她那些并非无关紧要的药物）。然而她完全不这么去做；她只是期待我会这么做。
感情遭到了滥用。我们关系的早期，也有过这样的情况，回想起来应该引起警觉。我那时年轻而孤独，愚蠢的没有理会它（尽管我并没有完全放一边）。

一切都变得越来越糟糕，直到有一天我开始出远差。
这提醒了我，我当时能做什么。这提醒了我不是所有女人都那么自私，这提醒了我我本可以快乐的。
在她决定我们没有未来之前，这项差事持续了近一年。这很伤人，但回顾这些事，我意识到她当时对我而言只是救生工具，而非实实在在的关系。

这项差事结束后一个月，我提出了分手。她的脸上看起来震惊、不可思议。现在我知道为何了，我明白她不相信她不是世界上最伟大的人，我居然会拒绝她的魅力。
这不是我来这儿写下这些东西的原因。

分居的六个月后，我去看了我的儿子。我那即将成为前妻的妻子早就养成了睡到很晚的习惯，大部分时间都睡到下午。那天，我去拜访她时，她还没起床。我儿子早些时候从学校回家，告诉我他没有听到她走动的声音，并让我去看看她。（他显然被告知无论什么原因都不要进她的房间）
我敲了敲门，说明了自己的身份。没有得到答复。敲了敲门,大声说话。什么都没有。
我打开门，她还在床上。我叹了一口气，走到床前，想把她摇醒。

她很冷。冰冷的死亡。后来我了解到，她对自己照顾得很差，所以她的心变得肥大了，然后停止了工作。
我哭了。我抓住手机拨打911，告诉接线员。接线员要求我是否可以做心肺复苏。
我停顿了一下，说，我不会。
从我十几岁的时候开始，我就有急救和心肺复苏的证书。

我说我不会。
在医护人员到来之前，她也许已经被救回来了，但我拒绝了。
我哭不是因为悲伤，而是因为解脱。
她会在离婚诉讼中利用孩子。她会尽她所能让我的生活痛苦。在我15年的婚姻生活中，她让我经历了多年的痛苦。
她死了，我很开心。



Leon Brennan, Recovering Drug Enthusiast.
Answered Apr 18 · Upvotedby Jeremi Shearon, Assistant Manager at Casey's General Stores (2017-present)
-THEPAPERBOY-
In the summer of 2006, my GoldenRetriever, Reigen, had a litter of fourteen puppies. I took off three weeks ofwork so that I could rotate them for feeding on momma’s milk. As they grew andbecame playful, the neighbors started taking notice. My next door neighborBeth, kept very strange hours. Every morning around 4:00 am I'd let Reigen andRoxy out to play and use the bathroom. Beth would walk up to the edge of heradjoining yard and ask how the puppies were doing. I'd politely answer and askhow her son Mitch was doing. We'd talk for about twenty minutes and then moveon with our day.
When the puppies were about sixweeks old, Beth told me that her son was interested in having one. I stoppedher right there and informed her that if Mitch was interested in a puppy, heshould talk to me directly. The very next morning, Mitch walked over and askedif he could talk to me for a minute. I invited him to sit on my porch with me.I hoped it would help ease some of his obvious anxiety. He asked me how much Iwas selling the puppies for. I told him $650 each. I could see his mind workingsomething out by the way his eyes darted back and forth, as he mumbled a fewnumbers under his breath. He said, “Leon, I would like to buy a puppy and nameher Ginger". He told me that he didn't have a dollar saved, but that he’dfind a job, make payments and be her best friend for life.
Obviously, I had concerns. Herewas this thirteen-year-old boy, with no money and little to no sense ofresponsibility, that thought trying to raise a dog was a good idea. I did myvery best to make sure that each puppy was going to a good home and I wasn'tabout to sell some irresponsible kid one of them. In my head, I quickly deviseda plan. I told Mitch that he had 4 weeks to save up $400. He had to give it tome in exchange for a 10-week old puppy of his choice. He could pick the puppytoday, but he couldn't have her until he had the $400. After that, he had tocontinue paying $100 a week until his debt was satisfied. If he defaulted, byeven one day, I got Ginger back. He shook my hand to seal the deal.
Mitch found a job that same day while I was at work. He starteddelivering newspapers seven days a week. He mowed lawns and did whatever hecould to make and save a buck. I think it was three weeks later that he handedme $650. He was so driven and I was so impressed. Ginger was his. After all, weshook on it.
I lethim know that if there ever came a day when taking care of her wasn't possible,to please give her back to me. I told him to never give her to anyone else. Heknew how I treated my dogs and it was an easy commitment for him to make. Weshook on that as well.
For thenext year and a half, Mitch and Ginger were inseparable. He was always walkingher and playing with her. He loved her so much.
But as it goes, life can be very cruel sometimes. The day afterthe New Year in 2008, Mitch wasn't out at all with Ginger. I didn't see him thenext day either. It was probably January 5th, 2008, when my doorbell rang.Mitch was just standing there. I answered and immediately knew something waswrong. I thought for sure that Ginger had been hit by a car. He tried to be sostoic, and in his bravest shaking voice, he told me that his Mom died. That hehad found her in the kitchen on the 2nd, and immediately called 911. She had ananeurysm and had fallen sometime the night before. He asked me if I could takeGinger back because his dad only had a one bedroom apartment and there were nopets allowed.
I feltmy chest tighten and throat swell. My eyes started blinking really fast, tryingto hold back the tears. He handed Ginger’s leash to me and slowly walked to hisfather's car with his head hung very low. I brought her inside and unleashedher. Kneeling down, I made eye contact with her and started crying. The painwas just too much for me to bear. My heart was broken for Mitch and for Ginger.
Threeweeks later, Ginger was getting along just fine with her sister, mother and mytwo other dogs.
A few days after that, I saw Mitch walking up my driveway. Iopened the door with Ginger and invited Mitch inside. Mitch told me that hetalked to his father about moving back to Akron. They had found an apartment afew blocks from where I lived. Mitch asked me if he could pick up Ginger onFridays after school and drop her back off on Sunday nights. Their apartmentwas only a few blocks away, so I was confident that if he needed any help I'dbe right there. I agreed to the arrangement which reminded me of a sharedcustody agreement between separated parents. My only real concern was thatMitch would outgrow his desire to be with Ginger. Mitch was about sixteen bythen. I was afraid that with school, driving, working and a girlfriend, he'dstart missing the pickup times and just slowly fade from Ginger's life.
Fridaywas the big day. I got Ginger amped up for the 4:30 pm pickup. Mitch's fatherpulled up to the end of my driveway and the passenger door swung open. Gingertore off down the driveway and greeted Mitch with jumping kisses.
Everyweek, like clockwork, Mitch had Ginger for three days. I would see them walkingthrough Akron Park together and playing on the hockey rink sometimes. For morethan seven years, Mitch never left her alone on the weekends. Mitch was thebest thing that ever happened to Ginger. When I had to put Ginger down I knewit would be a very hard conversation to have with Mitch. She was old and herhips couldn't handle another surgery. It was a very sad day, but Mitch and Iboth knew it was time. Ginger lived a full life and was loved every day of it.
I washaving a cup of tea at the local coffee shop today preparing a paintingproposal. I looked up and there he was. Mitch sat down with me and told me thathe was graduating college in a few weeks. We laughed and talked about Ginger alot.
I was so shocked at how grown up he was. We ran out of timequickly. I never got to say how proud of him I was. How impressed I was that hesaved his money and bought his first and only dog. I never told anyone that Icried for weeks when Beth died. And until now, I never told anyone that thebravest man I've ever met, was a thirteen-year-old paperboy.
Leon

在2006年的夏天，我的金毛猎犬里根，有一窝14只小狗。我休息了三个星期，这样我就可以轮流让妈妈给他们喂奶了。随着它们的成长和玩耍，邻居们开始注意到它们。我隔壁的邻居贝丝，作息时间一直很奇怪。每天早上4点左右，我就会让里奇和罗克西出去玩和上厕所。贝丝会走到邻家院子的边缘，问小狗们过得怎么样。我会礼貌地回答，问她儿子米奇怎么样了。我们聊了大约20分钟，然后继续我们的一天。
当这些小狗大约6周大的时候，贝丝告诉我她的儿子很想要一只。我马上拦住她，告诉她如果米奇对小狗感兴趣，他应该直接跟我说。第二天早上，米奇走过去问我能不能和我谈一会儿。我邀请他和我一起坐在我的门廊上。我希望这能帮助他减轻一些明显的焦虑。他问我这些小狗卖了多少钱。我告诉他每只650美元。我能看到他的脑子在思考着什么，他的眼睛来回扫视着，低声咕哝着几个数字。他说:“利昂，我想买只小狗给她取名金格。”他告诉我，他没有存钱，但他会找到一份工作，还钱，并永远做她最好的朋友。

很明显,我有担忧。这是一个13岁的男孩，没有钱，几乎没有责任感，想要养狗是个好主意。我尽我最大的努力确保每只小狗都能有一个好的家，我不打算卖给一些不负责任的小孩。在我的脑海里，我迅速想出了一个计划。在我的脑海里，我迅速想出了一个计划。我告诉米奇，他有4周的时间可以存400美元。他必须把钱给我，以换取他选择的一只10周大的小狗。他今天可以挑选小狗，但是直到他有了400美元，他才可以得到她。此后，他不得不继续每周支付100美元，直到还清债务。如果他违约，哪怕多一天，我也会让金格回来。他握了握我的手就成交了。

米奇在我上班的同一天找到了一份工作。他开始每周七天送报纸。他修剪草坪，尽其所能地赚钱和省钱。我想大概是三周后他就能给我650美元。他很有动力，我也很感动。金格是他的。最终，我们握手了。
我让他明白，如果有一天不能照顾她，请把她还给我。我告诉他永远不要把她给别人。他知道我是如何对待我的狗的，这对他来说是一个简单的承诺。我们对此也进行了讨论。
在接下来的一年半里，米奇和金格形影不离。他总是陪她散步，陪她玩。他非常爱她。

但随着时间的流逝，生活有时非常残酷。2008年新年后第二天，米奇和金格整天都没出门。这一天我也没见到他。大概是在2008年1月5日，我的门铃响了。米奇只是站在那里。
我马上就知道出事了。我当时认为，肯定是金格被车撞了。他竭力装出一副坚忍的样子，用他那最勇敢的颤抖的声音告诉我，他妈妈去世了。他说2号在厨房里发现了她，马上拨打了911。她患有动脉瘤，前天晚上的某个时候摔倒了。他问我能不能把金格送回来，因为他爸爸只有一间卧室，而且不允许养宠物。

我感到胸口发紧，喉咙发胀。我的眼睛开始快速地眨着，试图抑制住眼泪。他把金格的皮带递给我，慢慢地走到他父亲的车旁，低着头。我把她带进屋，然后解开皮带。我跪了下来，和她进行了眼神交流，开始哭了起来。我实在无法忍受这种痛苦。我为米奇和金格而心碎。
三个星期后，金格和她的妹妹、妈妈以及我的另外两只狗相处得很好。

几天后，我看到米奇走在我的车道上。我和金格打开门，邀请米奇进屋。米奇告诉我他和他父亲谈过搬回阿克伦的事。他们在离我住处几个街区的地方找到了一套公寓。米奇问我是否可以在周五他放学后去接金格，周日晚上送她回米奇家。他们的公寓就在几个街区之外，所以我很有信心，如果他需要任何帮助，我就会在那里。我同意了这个安排，这让我想起了分居父母之间的共同监护权协议。我唯一真正担心的是米奇会逐渐失去和金格在一起的欲望。那时米奇大约十六岁。我担心，有了学校、开车、工作和女朋友，他会开始错过搭车的时间，慢慢从金格的生活中消失。
星期五是重要的一天。我让金格兴奋起来，准备下午4点半的皮卡车。米奇的父亲把车停在我的车道尽头，车门打开了。金格沿着车道飞奔而去，用跳跃的亲吻迎接米奇。

每周准时，米奇跟金格在一起呆3天。我有时会看到他们一起穿过阿克伦公园，有时在冰球场上玩。七年多来，米奇从来没有在周末把她一个人留下。米奇是金格遇到的最好的事情。当我不得不放下金格的时候，我知道和米奇谈话将会非常困难。她年纪大了，她的臀部无法承受另一次手术。那是非常悲伤的一天，但是米奇和我都知道是时候了。金格过着充实的生活，每天都受到人们的喜爱。
今天我在当地的咖啡店喝了一杯茶，准备一份绘画计划书。我抬头一看，他就在那儿。米奇和我坐下来，告诉我他几周后就要大学毕业了。我们笑着聊了很多关于金格的事情。

我对他的成长感到震惊。我们很快就没时间了。我从来没说过我有多为他骄傲。令我印象深刻的是，他省下了钱，买了他的第一条也是唯一的一条狗。当贝丝去世的时候，我从来没有告诉过任何人我哭了好几个星期。直到现在，我从来没有告诉过任何人，我遇到过的最勇敢的人，是一个13岁的报童。
里昂

Jeffrey Davis
Apr 26 · 81 upvotes including Leon Brennan
It’s been over a year and a half since I first got involvedwith Quora and that was probably the most moving - andwell told - story I’ve ever read.
Yourability to pull the reader in, immerse them in a situation and completelymanage their emotions is positively legendary.
Somepeople share personal experiences. Others tell interesting stories. You havethat unique and rare ability to combine both In a way that picks up the reader,puts him in the car, takes him on a journey…and doesn’t drop him off tilhe’s back home safe & sound.
Congratulationson your sobriety…

我第一次加入Quora已经一年半的时间了，这可能是我读过的最感人的故事了，而且讲得很好。你有吸引读者的能力，让他们沉浸在某种情境中，完全控制他们的情绪，这绝对是传奇。有些人分享个人经历。别人讲有趣的故事。你有一种独特而罕见的能力，能把读者吸引过来，把他放到车里，带他去旅行，直到他平安到家，你才会让他下车。
祝贺你。

Leon Brennan
May 27 · 17 upvotes including Jeffrey Davis
Jeffrey, that is one of the nicest comments I've everreceived in my life. Thank you si much for taking the time to say that to me. Iappreciate your support and encouragement.
Iappreciate you. Your friend,
Leon

杰弗里，这是我一生中收到的最好的评论之一。谢谢你花时间对我说这些。感谢您的支持和鼓励。我很欣赏你。
你的朋友,里昂。

Anonymous
Answered Jun 9
My mother was dyingof cancer when I was about 30. I visited about once or twice a week (I was notworking at the time, but the drive to my parents' house was almost an hour eachway.) I had visited on Tuesday, and told her I would come again on Thursday. Shewas fairly lucid at the time, and had full-time nurses caring for her at home.
On Wednesday afternoon, my fathercalled and told me the nurse said the end was coming soon, and I should comeover right away, which I did.
She was unconscious and had laboredbreathing. My dad held one of her hands and I held the other. This went on forquite a while. I had heard that sometimes dying people try to hold on for theirloved ones, so I leaned close to her and said, “It's OK, Mom. You can let go.”Within 2 minutes she drew her last breath and then died.
I felt guilty about it, thinkingmaybe I should have let my father make that decision that I had taken away fromhim.
A couple of decades later, myhusband's father came to live with us. He was dying of lung cancer, and couldnot live independently, but did not need constant medical help. He lived withus for around 6 months, then went downhill within a matter of 2-3 days.
The last day, he was unconsciousand had the “death rattle.” My husband and I went in to check on him before wewent to bed. I held his hand, smoothed his hair back on his forehead, and said,“You don't have to keep struggling. It's OK.” He died during the night.
I'm now terrified that I am somekind of bad luck or angel of death.

在我30岁的时候，我母亲死于癌症。我每周去一次或两次(当时我不工作，但开车去父母家的路程几乎是一个小时左右)。我星期二去看她，告诉她我星期四再来。她当时相当清醒，家里有全职护士照顾她。
周三下午，我父亲打电话告诉我，护士说没多少天了，我应该马上过来，我照做了。

她失去知觉，呼吸困难。爸爸握着她的一只手，我握着另一只手。这种情况持续了很长一段时间。我曾听说，有时濒死的人会为他们所爱的人着想，所以我靠近她说:“没关系，妈妈。你可以放手。”不到两分钟，她就咽下最后一口气，走了。
我为此感到内疚，我想也许我应该让我父亲做出那个我从他身边夺走的决定。
几十年后，我丈夫的父亲来和我们住在一起。他死于肺癌，不能独立生活，但不需要持续的医疗帮助。他和我们一起住了大约6个月，然后在2-3天内就急转直下。

最后一天，他失去了知觉，发出了“死亡之声”。他说:“我和我丈夫在睡觉前去看看他。我握住他的手，抚平他前额上的头发，说:“你不必一直挣扎。没关系。“随后，他在夜里死了。
我现在很害怕我是某种厄运或死亡天使。

Chris Grebe, studied at Villanova University(2010)
Updated Aug 2
I think one otherperson knows this story.
The high school I went to wasjust outside of Philadelphia. The graduating Seniors would go to the Jerseyshore for Senior week (the week after they graduated high school) and it wouldbe a week of drinking, sometimes drugs, and having a good time with oldfriends. Most of whom you might not ever see again. This was before Facebook.
I had just finished my freshmanyear of college and was seeing some friends who were seniors and got invited totheir house for senior week. It was a group of cheerleaders, one of which I hada huge crush on. I’d recently had my heart broken by the girl I messed aroundwith in college and was stoked for a time to unwind and hopefully hook up withthis girl (we will call her Ellie) I had known Ellie for 3 years and she’d hada boyfriend for most of that time, she was single, I was single and this wasour time!
So we get down there and Ellieand I are having a great time together. Drinking, having fun spending the daysat the beach and the nights going to carnival rides and loving life.
So… here’s the fun part. I was19, I was still in that weird stage where taking a shit in front of girls wasnot cool. I was staying in a house full of girls. It’s like 12:15am and I haveto take a shit. BADLY. I tell everyone I was going to go to a friends house downthe street to see a friend and would be back in like 30 minutes. Ellie wantedto come but I made an excuse. She bought it. I ran to that house and theyweren’t home. I then ran to the boardwalk to see if any of the public restroomswere open.
NOPE. They close at midnight.FUCK. I thought to myself. There’s got to be some other restrooms. I run toanother block of restrooms and they too are closed. About 10 minutes havepassed and the shit I had to take 10 minutes ago was WAY worse. I start walkingback to the house where I had the uncontrolable urge to shit and my body wasnot stopping this from happening. I ran to the nearest house I could findwihtout a car in the driveway. I find one I run out back and justuncontrollably shit on what I find out is their back door mat. I use my boxersas toilet paper and clean up as best I could. I then go back to the house andpretend like nothing is wrong. Everyone is getting ready to go out. I say I’mgoing to go shower and go up and shower and no one ever knows what happened.Ellie, met me in the shower and we spent the rest of the week enjoying eachothers company.
18 years later I still feel likean asshole for shitting on someones backdoor mat but thats a memory that willlast the rest of my life.

我想另一个人知道这个故事。
我上的高中就在费城郊外。这些即将毕业的学生将会去泽西海岸参加高三毕业周(他们高中毕业后的那一周)，这一周他们会喝酒，有时吸毒，和老朋友们一起玩得很开心。你可能再也见不到他们了。在这之前还没有Facebook。
我刚读完大学一年级，正在和一些大四的朋友见面，他们邀请我去他们家参加毕业周。那是一群啦啦队，其中有一个我非常喜欢。最近我被于我厮混在一起的这个女孩伤了心，我们在一起有时候会选择放松，希望能跟她勾搭上。（我们都称她叫艾莉），我认识艾莉有3年了，那段时间她基本上都有一个男朋友，现在她单身，我也单身，轮到我们了！

所以我们去了那里，艾莉和我在一起玩得很开心。喝酒，在海滩度过白天的时光，晚上去狂欢，热爱生活。这是有趣的部分。我19岁的时候，我还处在一个奇怪的阶段，在女孩面前上大号一点都不酷。我住在一个满是女孩的房子里。大概是凌晨12点15分，我得去上大号，憋的厉害。我告诉每个人我要去街对面的朋友家看朋友，大概30分钟后回来。艾莉想来，但我找了个借口。她信了。我跑到那间房子，他们不在家。然后我跑到人行道去看看是否有公共厕所开放。



Rana Usman, lives in Islamabad, Pakistan
Updated May 2
So this is long ago,probably in 2013. My grandfather who lived to 90, an war vet and landlord washospitalized in Islamabad, Pakistan.
He was a man who was known forhis bravery in the region. He was solely responsible for security of a convoyduring partition of 1947 where he lead his whole village to cross border fromIndian to Pakistan.
You might have come across peoplewho are intelligent and philosophical and likes to reflect upon life, hewas NONE!. He was kind of person who didn’t think much, ratherwould live in the moment and a happy lucky go person.
In our Punjab, there’s atradition that whenever grandsons meet their grand father, they give themsomething, often money, a small insignificant amount. For instance, every timeI met him, he might give me $2 or $5, just to show admiration and love.
Back to 2013
This frail and fragile man ispartially conscious and couldn’t speak a word, however he can see and probablyunderstand what is muttered to him. My parents and I were standing next to himwhen parents went out for something while I was alone with my grand father inICU.
Suddenly, I see him moving handinto his hospital suit pocket, trying to find something. I wasn’t sure what hewas doing. He searched his pocket for a while and when couldn’t find anything,he stopped searching. I wanted to touch his head with love and say to him “BeGood Grandpa” but I didn’t.
3 or 4 days after, he passedaway.
Many days after he passed away, Ikept thinking on why he was searching his pocket and what was he looking forwhen it dawned upon me that probably he wanted to give his grandson somethingas he came to meet him at ICU but he couldn’t find anything.
I sometime wish, I had putsomething in his pocket…

这是很久以前的事了，大概是在2013年。我的祖父活到了90岁，他是一名退伍老兵，也是一名房东。
他是一个在该地区以勇敢着称的人。1947年分治期间，他独自负责一个车队的安全工作。他带领整个村庄从印度边境进入巴基斯坦。
你可能遇到过一些聪明、有哲学头脑、喜欢反思生活的人，但他不是!他是那种想得不多的人，宁愿活在当下，过着幸福幸运的日子。

在我们旁遮普，有一个传统，每当孙子遇到他们的祖父，他们给他们一些东西，通常是钱，一个微不足道的数额。例如，每次我遇到他，他可能会给我2美元或5美元，只是为了表示赞赏和爱。
回到2013年
这个虚弱而脆弱的人有部分意识，不能说话，但他能看到并可能也能理解对他咕哝的话。我和我的父母站在他旁边，父母出去后，我和我的祖父单独在ICU。

突然，我看到他把手伸进了他的病房服口袋，试图找到什么东西。我不确定他在做什么。他在口袋里找了一会儿，什么也没找到，就停止了搜寻。我想用爱抚摸他的头，对他说“我的好爷爷”，但我没有。
3-4天后，他走了。

在他去世后的许多天里，我一直在想他为什么在口袋里找东西，他在寻找什么，这时我突然意识到他可能想给他的孙子一些东西，因为他来ICU找他，但他什么也没找到。
我有时希望，我有曾把东西放在他的口袋里……