外国故事会：我用计坑惨了一个和我不对付的同事 [美国媒体]

原文：Hey new to reddit..i thought i would post my story here. I work for a construction company and we do remodeling on homes. We have a rule here that we get to keep anything we find hidden behind the walls. We hired this guy (we really needed a worker badly) who was a total a-hole from day one. Ive been working for this company for 5 years and this guy has only been doing construction for 1 year after he got fired from his accounting job for getting a dui. Anyways..he would always make fun of my clothes and my accent and one day he went too far by telling my boss about my private instagram account pics. He got on my phone and looked through my instagram page and showed my boss pictures of me smoking weed. ( little did he know that my boss is my friend from 8 years when we used to smoke together before we both quit) i was so mad that he violated my privacy then i made a plan to fuck him over. He was the kind of guy who would always come in late and complain that trains or traffic is why he was always late. One day i over heard him saying that if he won the lottery he would quit this job for not getting the "respect" he deserves. (You have to earn your respect here.) One day i bought some fake gold coins online and i put them in a metal box i found at the antique store and waited for a chance to hide it in a wall. Luckly i did not have to wait long. The day he found the coins it seemed like it was his best day ever. First thing he did when he opened the box.. he called my boss a fing loser and he quit imedietly on the spot. He said" f this place..im rich"... Lol.. little did he know was that, that was the best day of my life. After he quit my boss told us that he was going to fire him anyways for always showing up late...i wish i could see the look on his face when he finds out the gold coins are fake. Best $40 i spent in my life. ( i apologize for my grammar..this just happened today and my addrenaline is pumping hard. Thanks for reading.

大家好，我是reddit萌新...我觉得我应该把我的故事po到这里。我在一个建筑公司工作，我们从事的是家庭装修工作。我们这儿有一个规矩：在墙内藏着的东西如果被我们找到了，我们都得留着。我们雇了一个从一开始就完完全全是个魂淡的家伙(我们真的非常需要一个帮手)。我在这个公司工作了5年，而这个家伙只在建筑行业待过一年，之前他因为醉驾丢了他的会计工作。不管这些...他经常取笑我的穿着和我的口音，有一天他做得太过火了，他居然跟我的老板讲我的私人ins账户的照片。他拿走了我的手机，调查了我的ins页面，还把我飞叶子的照片给我老板看(他不知道的是我老板跟是8年的老盆友，我们曾经一起飞叶子)。我被这侵犯我隐私的家伙气疯了，我要想个点子来点曹这个碧池。他经常迟到而且一直把堵车当做理由。有一天我偶然听到他说如果他赢了彩票他会马上辞职，因为他没有得到应有的"尊重"。某天天我在网上买了一些假的金币，然后我在古董店找了个金属盒子把它们放了进去，找了个机会把盒子藏在墙里面。幸运的是我没有等太久。这一天他发现了金币，这好像是他生命中最好的一天。当他打开了盒子他做的第一件事就是骂我的老板是个卢瑟吊丝并马上溜了。他说：“曹泥码的这个破地方.....爷我是有钱人了.....”.....哈哈哈.....他不知道的是这是我生命中最开心的一天。在他走了之后我老板告诉我他早就想辞退他了，因为他总是迟到。我真希望能在他发现金币是假的时脸上是什么表情。这是我生命是花的最值的40刀。


[–]PorkThruster 11.1k 指标 6小时前*
Damn, you only gave him a shoelace to work with and he still hanged himself. Bravo!
Edit: hanged, I were idiot

玛德，你只是给了他一个鞋带而他把自己在鞋带上吊死了。牛皮！

[–]lrze403[S] 3061 指标 6小时前
Lmao
[–]masterfunkp 974 指标 4小时前
Hope he can live like a king on a shoestring budget

希望他能在有限的预算里活得像个王一样。

[–]alexleafs522 199 指标 4小时前
Idk but speaking from personal experience, it's pretty hard to live at all with a shoestring tied around your neck.

从个人经验来说当你脖子被鞋带紧紧系着时你很难活下去。

[–]Skyaboo 106 指标 4小时前
Oh, look at you Mr. Highroller who can afford to buy real chokers.

哦，看看这个买得起真正的领带的土豪。

[–]Boesfb 16 指标 3小时前
Mr. Highhanger*

上吊先生。

[–]MC-noob 11 指标 2小时前
Get a load of this fatcat who can afford to have a neck.....

来看看这个买得起脖子的土豪.....

[–]skylinepidgin 93 指标 4小时前
He probably thought those were bitcoins lol

他大概以为这些东西是比特币lol。

[–]billbixbyakahulk 4 指标 2小时前
Wanted bitcoins but ended up with ass pennies instead.

想要比特币最后却得到了屁股便士。

[–]Skywalker87 5 指标 2小时前
You can buy packs of bitcoins on Amazon for $1.99. We gave one to my little niece because she likes shiny things and my sister called me "YOU GAVE HER A REAL BITCOIN???" �

你可以花两刀在亚马逊上买一堆比特币。我们给了我的小外甥女一个，因为她喜欢亮晶晶的东西，然后我姐看到了跟我讲：“你给了她一个真的比特币？？？”

[–]skylinepidgin 3 指标 2小时前
Lol. Teach her the virtue of hodling at a young age and she'll thank you later on in her life.

Lol。在她这个年纪教教她品德吧，她会在以后的人生中感谢你的。

[–]Skywalker87 1 指标 31 分钟前
I gave her shiny new hair clips today and she asked me not to send them home with her because she didn't want her mommy to have them. HODL

今天我给了她一些亮晶晶的新发夹，她求我不要把这些和她一起送回家，因为她不想让她妈妈拥有它们。

[–]K3R3G3 10 指标 3小时前
Do you have a pic of the coins? Or a link to them and the quantity you put in there?
Gold is awesome, I love it, and it's at $1,311.21/ozt right now.
Just wondering how much he think he scored, if he even knew the approx supposed value.

你有这些金币的图片吗？或者给我个链接？还有你放了多少个？
金子真是美妙，我爱它，它现在价格是1,311.21刀每盎司

[–]Max_Thunder 9 指标 2小时前
He was probably too stupid to realize that he can't retire on $50,000 (random number).

他大概是太蠢了所以才没意识到他不能靠50000刀活一辈子(随便说的数)

[–]K3R3G3 5 指标 2小时前
Yeah, I mentioned that in another comment. Some people will get like $20k, quit their job, and do nothing until they're broke and have to. Not a whole lot of foresight.

似的，我在另一个评论里提到了。有些人得到了可能20000刀就辞职了，什么事都不做直到它们身无分文。没什么先见之明。

[–]aahrg 20 指标 2小时前
If I was stuck in a job I didn't like, a sudden 50k would be more than enough to allow me to quit and search for a new job. I wouldn't be able to retire, but it'd allow me to pivot my life into a happier place.

如果我被困在一个我不喜欢的工作，50000刀已经很足够让我辞职并找一份新的工作了。我不会退休，但这可以让我把我的生活变得更快乐。

[–]jojofroyo 1 指标 16 分钟前
I would play blackjack!

我会去玩21点！

[–]wetback 981 指标 8小时前
If he got a DUI, he doesn't think things through.

他醉驾就说明他想不清楚事情。

[–]iLikeCoffie 325 指标 8小时前
Some people only can't think things through when they drink. This guy I assume was retarded while sober.

有些人只是在醉酒时不清醒。我感觉这个人清醒时就是个沙比。

[–]DanceOfTards 144 指标 8小时前
It's true. I've seen him dance.

是真的，我看到过他跳舞。

[–]sega20 4 指标 6小时前
Username checks out.

用户名检验。

[–]Ky__ -5 指标 7小时前
/r/beetlejuicing

甲壳虫汁

[–]HowObvious 38 指标 6小时前
It's not beetlejuicing if you are the one making a reference to your own name.
Beetlejuicing is mentioning someones name then them turning up.

提到你自己的名字并不是beetlejuicing。
Beetlejuicing是提到某些人的名字后他们就会出现。

[–]SpyderEyez 6 指标 6小时前
Yeah, that's like the exact opposite of Beetlejuice.

是的，这完全与Beetlejuice意思相反。

[–]Slow33Poke33 1 指标 6小时前
Black people tell me that the opposite of juice is sauce.

黑人告诉我果汁的反义词是酱油。

[–]dootleloot 2 指标 6小时前
Who said that?

谁说的？

[–]The_Deadlight 0 指标 6小时前
is this a reference or is it just a terrible joke?
这是什么典故或者仅仅只是个糟糕的笑话？？

[–]ObsessedAussie 1 指标 6小时前
is no joke

不是笑话   

[–]nau5 88 指标 9小时前
I'd wager he was a shitty accountant as well because a DUI isn't going to be that big of a barrier.

我打赌他是个狗屎会计，因为醉驾并不是一个大到让他丢了工作的缺点。

[–]jamiegandolf 19 指标 7小时前
Yeah, it was just the perfect excuse to finally get rid of his ass.
As a manager, if an employee fucks up somewhere but overall is a good employee, I make sure to try to find an out for them. Otherwise, it’s my perfect excuse to finally rid myself of them. Did that recently with a guy who we had just given too many chances to.

是的，这只是一个摆脱他这个大屁眼子的完美的借口。
作为一个管理层，如果一个员工翻了什么错事但整体上是好的，我会为他们开脱。否则，这会是我摆脱他们的完美借口。我最近对某个人这么做过，我已经给了他太多的机会。

[–]mex2005 11 指标 7小时前
Yeah actually my own cousin got a dui while being young and dumb but he still landed a job at a good accounting firm. He even told them about it at the interview though they would find out anyway so no point in lying there. He probably got fired there for being late all the time and acting like he is way above the job he was currently doing. The thing is you have to work to get there that's how you prove your worth not by being a douchebag.

是的，实际上我的表弟曾经醉驾过，当时他很年轻而且是个哑巴，但他仍然在一个会计事务所找到了工作。他在面试里坦白了这件事，藏着不说没有意义，因为他们无论如何都会发现的。他大概是因为一直迟到被炒。所以你工作时需要证明你的价值，而不是当一个傻吊。

[–]Bkm72 13 指标 5小时前
DUI’s aren’t frowned upon as hard as some may think. Unless it’s a job that requires you to drive most of the time and you don’t have like 3 or 4 of them. I think most would be surprised how many working professionals have DUI’s on their record.

醉驾不像某些人想的那样不好。除非这个工作是需要你大部分时间开车。我想大部分人会被有醉驾记录的职工的人数给吓到。

[–]Saucey 49 指标 8小时前
If he got a DUI, there is a good chance that he has a drinking problem. Some people who have drinking problems drink all day, even at work. Mainly to stop the shakes*. He sounds like a candidate from all sides of this story with his behavior. Hope this is a wake up call for him.
*source: me - 4 years sober

如果你有过醉驾，这是一个让他认识到醉酒这个毛病的机会。有些喜欢喝酒的人无时无刻不在喝酒，甚至在工作时也喝酒。主要是为了阻止手抖。从他的行为来看他就像要踏上这个故事的主角的老路。希望这对他敲响了警钟。
来源：我自己----4年的戒酒生涯

[–]delvach 18 指标 8小时前
Congrats my friend. I was close to someone who dealt with that level of dependency and I can’t imagine the willpower you’ve had to muster to make that change. You really, really rock and I hope you know it.

祝贺你我的朋友。我曾经接触过这种如此依赖酒的人，我不敢想象你需要凝聚起多强的意志力才能做出这样的改变。你是真的、真的很厉害，我希望你知道你有多酷。

[–]Cad-Bane 35 指标 8小时前
4 years
3 days here. Goal is all of 2018

4年。
我已经三天没喝了。目标是整个2018。

[–]Ethancordn 13 指标 7小时前
I'm 3 days too. My goal's only till the end of Jan though.
Good luck on a year

接下来的一年祝你好运。

[–]oilpit 11 指标 7小时前
New years Eve was my 2 month mark. You can do it, friend.

新年前夕那天是我戒酒2个月纪念日。你能做到的，朋友。

[–]BKlounge93 6 指标 7小时前
Awesome to hear, congrats! You got this.

很惊喜能看到这个，祝贺你！你可以的。

[–]slamdunkmyjunk 5 指标 7小时前
Good luck my friend.

祝你好运朋友。

[–]Swayingorb786 5 指标 7小时前
Good luck!

祝好运！

[–]dogepenguin 3 指标 7小时前
You can do it bud �

你能做到的兄弟！

[–]Bigmikentheboys 3 指标 7小时前
Hey man me too! Hang in there, we'll get through it!

嘿朋友我也是！坚持下去，我们会迈过这个槛！

[–]wtffighter 2 指标 7小时前
Man I already fucked that up a few mins ago dont rub it in
In all seriousness though, hope you stay stronger than me

哥们几分钟以前我搞砸了一切。尽管如此我还是想认真的说，希望你能一直比我更坚强。

[–]GloriousGardener 1 指标 6小时前
If you are physically addicted its probably going to get worse before it gets better. Hang in there.

如果你是生理性的沉迷那么一切在变得更好之前只会变得更糟。坚持住吧。

[–]CirceHorizonWalker 12 指标 8小时前
Congrats on 4 years, man. Great accomplishment!

祝贺你坚持了四年，哥们。伟大的成就！