饭后，我给中国女服务员小费，为什么她生气了？中文里的“shabi”是什么意思？（下） [美国媒体]

Why would the waitress get mad when I tried to tip her after dinner in China? And what does shabi mean in Chinese?

饭后，我给中国女服务员小费，为什么她生气了？中文里的“shabi”是什么意思？（下）


Shenni Lin
Answered Jul 6
If you know a little about China's nationalconditions, you should not raise such a problem.
Chinese people have no habit of collectingtips
But I don't understand why she was angry."Shabi" means idiot, fool for sure.
My guess is:
1 tip must be "many a little make amickle"，if no noe give tip,Your tip was insignificant to them
In China today, people don't even go outwith money and change is very small. No woman likes accept small change. Even 3years ago, I meet a girlfriend who only made 3000RMB a month in BeiJing, shewould give me one hundred bill any time.
2 She may think you are trying to pleaseher with change then sleep with her.
3 Maybe she tried to communicate with youbut your Mandarin was not practical enough made her be angry. Imagine if awoman tried to tell me in Starbucks just need 50 cents for another cup coffee(not in China) but I couldn't understand it. She would be angry and say"stupid."
4 This question is not real. Are youkidding?
​
如果你对中国的国情稍有了解，你就不会问这个问题了。
中国人没有接受小费的习惯。
但是我不明白她为什么要愤怒。“shabi”指白痴的意思。
我的猜测是：
1、小费肯定是“积少成多”的，如果没人给小费，你的小费对他们来说没什么意义。在如今的中国，人们出门甚至都不带现金了，零钱非常小，没有女人喜欢接受小零钱了。甚至是3年前，我的一个女性朋友，在北京月薪只有3000元，可她愿意在任何时候给我100块。
2、她可能觉得你用零钱取悦她，然后和她上床。
3、可能她想和你交流，但是你普通话不够好，这让她感到生气。想象一下，在星巴克里，一个女服务员想对我说只要50美分就可以续杯，可是我就是听不懂（不是在中国），那么她极可能生气并说“煞笔”。
4、这是个虚假的问题。你是在开玩笑吗？



Haosen Cai, Engineer
Answered Jul 9
I really have to ask how much did youattempt to tip her and what did you attempt to tip her with.
Back a few years ago there were talks aboutif you go to Cuba, the locals would be very happy if you tip them with smallgifts such as Tylenol, t-shirt, soap, cold medicines and whatnot because theydon’t have that and those are highly thought after. Now a day the idea oftipping with small gifts won’t fly too well in Cuba.
Now if someone tried to do that in Chinaassuming the same thing (small gift), or very small amount of cash such as a 10or 20 RMB bill, well then, the waitress would usually first inform the personthat they don’t need to tip, and if the customer insists then the waitresscould potentially get mad.
Also Shabi is the most common profanity inChina used to describe a “f*cktard”, and it’s probably the universally adoptedprofanity in the entire mainland China. It’s the as popular as “libertard” forconservatives, “trumptard” for the liberals, and “n*gger” for the KKK.

我想问的是你给的小费是多少，以及用什么来当小费。
几年前，有人说去古巴的话，如果你用小礼物作为小费送给当地人的话，他们会非常开心，比如T恤，肥皂，泰诺，寒药等等。因为他们没有这些东西，但是很需要。如今把小礼物当作小费送给当地人，那可能就不怎么受欢迎了。
如果现在某人也以小礼物的方式在中国给小费，或者给10块或者20块这种零钱，那么女服务员一般会先声明她们不接受小费，如果客人执意要给，女服务员可能会生气。
“shabi”是中国最普遍的骂人词汇，就好比是保守主义者口中的libertard（自由主义白痴），自由主义者口中的trumptard（愚蠢的川普支持者），以及3K党口中的“黑鬼”

David Annett, Embedded systems engineer,back home to NZ after 2 years in China.
Answered Jul 16
I found Tom McGregor’s answer interesting.I have a more mundane answer. I spend a lot of time in China and it appears tobe very much a problem with American visitors who have not worked out the inmuch of the world tipping is not the norm and is only done for exceptionservice, not for normal employee activities. For Chinese restaurant staff notused to Americans it confuses them, why can’t this foreigner understand hisbill, why does he keep giving me the wrong amount? What should I do? If I takethe wrong amount what am I meant to do with it, my till won’t balance and theboss may get angry it me for not doing correct transactions and if I keep it Icould loose my job for stealing from the till.
As a side note in areas that get a lot oftourists it not a problem as staff will know what it means and will have aprocedure in place to handle it. Of course instead you piss off us non-Americanforeigners with your attempts to introduce that horrible system of tipping withmakes visiting the USA so annoying. If successful it will make visiting Chinathe same horrible confusing mess that you have in the USA, so please stop it,life is already complicated enough without tipping.

我觉得Tom McGregor的回答很有意思。我在中国度过了很长一段时间，来中国旅游的美国游客貌似没有意识到给小费这种行为在世界的很多地方都不是一种常态，只有在提供例外服务时才需要给小费，而一般的服务行为不需要给。不常招待美国人的中国餐馆工作人员对小费感到不解，为什么这个老外看不懂自己的账单，为什么他老是给我错误的金额？我该怎么办？如果我多收了钱要怎么处理，如果资金有出入，没有作出正确的交易，老板会生气的，如果我拿走额外的钱，我可能会被当作偷钱而被炒鱿鱼。
不过，在游客多的地方，这不是一个问题，因为这些景点的员工都知道那是小费，会有相应的处理方法。当然，如果你向其他外国人（非美国人）收小费的话，可能会让他们感到不解。小费文化会让去中国旅游变的麻烦，好比去美国旅游时遇到的小费文化。所以还是废除小费文化吧，没有小费的生活已经够复杂了。

LU BW, phd from Hong Kong University ofScience and Technology
Answered Jul 10
Chinese have no habit of collecting tips.It would be regarded as greedy by accepting your tips in Chinese culture. Suchbehavior is something like a beggar accepting your charity. Giving a tip makesher feeling disrespectful.
There are many ways to show yoursatisfaction to her service. For example, you can call her leader or managerand praise her in the presence of the leader. Remember that praise a waitressin public (i.e. in the presence of her learder) is much better than a privateway (i.e. a tip). You can imagine, after your praise, the manager will know thegood work of hers, and maybe rasie her salary or provide a bonus to her. Thenshe would be many thankful to you. Our Chinese regard earning money by this wayas a dignified one. This means that we would like to earn the money by our hardwork, not by a tip or charity.
I believe that: Earning money not by a tipor charity, but by a dignified way is a general rule around the world.

中国人没有收小费的习惯。在中国文化中，收小费会被认为是贪婪的。这种行为就好比乞丐接受你的慈善。给小费让她觉得自己没有受到尊重。
你可以有很多方式来表达对她所提供服务的满意。比如，你可以打电话给她领导或者经理，在领导面前赞扬她。在公开场合（即在她的领导面前）赞扬一个女服务员比私下里（即给小费）赞扬她来得好。你可以想象，在你的赞扬之后，经理就知道她做好了工作，可能给她加薪或者奖金鼓励。那么她就会对你感恩。我们中国人认为这样的赚钱方式才是有尊严的。也就是说我们想通过自己的勤劳来赚钱，而不是通过小费或者慈善的方式。
我相信，靠尊严的方式赚钱而不是靠小费或者慈善，这是全世界的普遍规则。

QX Liu, lives in China
Answered Jul 11
Dear Americans please keep your tipsculture contained within your own country and don’t f*****g try preaching it.Tips culture is only a capitalist invention to transfer the class conflictbetween the waiters and the bosses to between the waiters and the customers, inwhich lack of transparency and lack of consistency are made.
Service is yet another industry and waiteris yet another job. Work and receive salary from the employer — that’s thesimple logic of jobs. As for receiving additional money from the customers whomthey directly serve in work, it’s Capitalism with American Characteristics.
US culture belongs to US only, not evenentire North America. Try to learn and understand the cultural differences andrespect when going abroad. The world doesn’t function in US logics, unlike someignorant Americans might suppose.

亲爱的美国人，请把你们的小费文化留在美国吧，不要向世界推广。小费文化不过是资本主义的发明，目的是为了将服务员和老板之间的阶级冲突转移到服务员和客人之间，缺乏透明，缺乏连续性。
服务业不过是另一种产业，服务员不过是另一种工作。付出劳动，从雇主那里获得工资，这是最基本的工作逻辑。而从客人那里获得额外金钱的小费文化不过是美国特色的资本主义罢了。
美国文化只属于美国，甚至不包括整个北美。多学学，出国后理解并且尊重文化差异吧。世界并不围着美国转，不像某些无知的美国人所想象的那样。



Song Qingli
Sat
when in Rome be like the Romans

入乡随俗嘛。

Nathalie Boh
Mon
That’s something the Chinese are reallygood at!

中国人真的很擅长入乡随俗呢！

Paul Denlinger, Have lived in China, Taiwanand Hong Kong; fluent in Mandarin (written, spoken)
Answered Jul 14
Tipping is mainly an American phenomenon;almost no other countries do it. In the US, most food service workers are paidless than the minimum wage; the only way they can make a living is by gettingpaid extra in the form of tips. You can read more about the history of tippingin the US here: The racist, twisted history of tipping
In almost all other societies, the servicefee is included in the amount charged for the meal.
That’s right, in most other countries, foodservice workers can make ends meet on their salary.

给小费主要是美国现象；几乎没有其他国家这么干。在美国，大部分餐饮工作人员的收入低于最低工资；要想过上体面生活只能靠小费。你可以去看看美国的小费历史：扭曲的种族主义的小费历史（链接）
而在其他国家，服务费已经包括在餐费里面了。也就是说在大部分的其他国家里，餐饮工作者可以靠自己的工资达到收支平衡。

Kevin Samuels, lives in Beijing, China(2013-present)
Answered Jul 6
Shabi (傻逼) means idiot, butit’s more vulgar than that. One dictionary translates it as “stupid cunt”.
Tipping is not traditional in China, but awaitress would normally just politely refuse the money. I doubt anyone wouldget angry enough to start swearing at you if you tried to tip them. I have afeeling there is a longer story behind this question.

傻逼指的是白痴的意思，但意思其实更粗野。
给小费并非中国传统，但是女服务员一般会礼貌的拒绝。应该不会因此而骂人。我觉得这件事没那么简单。