为什么中国男人会避开有弟弟的女人？ [美国媒体]

-------------译者：Moonrabbit-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------



"I went on a blind date. But because the girl has a younger brother my mother refused the match immediately."

“我去相亲了。但因为女方有个弟弟，我妈立马就拒掉了那次相亲。”

I saw this post on Chinese social network Weibo recently. The publisher was advising men not to marry a woman with a younger brother. 

我最近在新浪微博上看到了这个故事。博主劝告其他男士不要娶一个有弟弟的女性。

Being a woman with a brother and whose husband has an older sister I was shocked by such advice and even more surprised that many people actually agree with this opinion. However as I read their explanations I slowly came to understand their worries. 

作为一个有兄弟、且丈夫有个姐姐的已婚女性，我对这样的建议感到十分震惊，而更令我惊讶的是，回复中有不少人居然赞同这个观点。然而，当我读完他们的回复，我渐渐明白他们担忧的根源。

What concerns them the most is that the younger brother and possibly his family would become a burden to the sister's husband after the marriage. 

令他们最为不安的是这个小舅子，乃至是这个小舅子今后的家庭，会成为男方婚后的负担。

They argue that most families with a male as the second child have a preference for boys over girls; otherwise they would not have another child after their daughter.

他们认为大部分二胎为男孩的家庭重男轻女的现象会比较突出；否则，这些家庭也不会在生了女儿后还继续生孩子。 

As a result they believe that the sister is always made to help take care of her brother who is often spoiled. So even after the sister marries she will keep helping her little brother. "Such families often ask for more betrothal gifts just to enrich the brother's when he marries" wrote another internet user. 

于是乎，他们相信姐姐在生活中总是要帮忙照顾弟弟，而这么做的后果就是弟弟被宠坏了。所以即使婚后，姐姐还是会这么关照自己的弟弟。其中一个网友回复表示，“这种家庭往往会为了给弟弟娶老婆在嫁姐姐的时候索要更多聘礼。”

They are not entirely wrong because a preference for boys does exist in China even in some big cities. 

回复的意见并非都是错的，因为重男轻女在当今中国依然存在，哪怕是在某些大城市。

For some people the men carry the family line after marriage while the women belong to their husband's family. 

于某些人来说，家族延续的希望在于男丁，女儿出嫁后只能延续夫家的香火是男方家的人了。

-------------译者：Moonrabbit-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

The traditional mindset that the older child should always make allowances for the younger one has made big sisters much less favored as ideal wives. I have also read news about how some girls were not properly educated because their families could not afford to send both children to school. 

传统观念认为较年长的子女应该照顾体谅年幼的弟妹；这种观念使得有弟弟的姐姐们在择偶方面不受人待见。通过新闻，我还知道有些女孩不能受到充分教育的原因是她们的家庭供不起让两个孩子一起读书；（所以弟弟会接受完整教育，而姐姐则提早辍学）

That post reminded me of what a girlfriend once said about "marriage advice" to women. 

这条微博不禁让我想起我的一个女性朋友，她曾说过的给女性的“婚姻建议。”

She told me never to marry a man with a brother because the wives of the two brothers are not likely to get along never marry a man who is an only child because he would be spoiled and never marry a man with a sister because a sister-in-law would be troublesome. 

她告诉我不要嫁给一个有兄弟的男人，因为妯娌之间很难相处融洽；不要嫁给独生子因为他可能被宠坏了；别嫁给一个有姐妹的男人，因为大姑子或者小姑子会是个麻烦。

"When two people are in a relationship it is only a thing between the two people but when the two get married it becomes a thing between two families." This is what my high school teacher told me but I did not truly understand it until I got married. 

“恋爱是两个人之间的事；而婚姻是两个家庭间的事。”我的高中老师曾这么对我说过；直到我结婚了，我才真正明白这句话的含义。

Happiness headaches and fights exist in every family regardless of the family members and those who want to avoid this are only afraid of taking responsibility.

每个家庭都存在幸福、麻烦事和争吵，这不因家庭成员的身份而能避免；因为这些因素而不成家的人只是害怕承担责任。

Most of us are only children who grew up being the center of attention. 

我们大多数人在成长中都是家里人关注的中心。

As a result we still wish to be the king or queen in our marriage. 

于是，在婚姻中我们也希望自己是家中的国王或者女王。

Therefore what others can give us instead of what we can do for our partner is what many people think about. 

因此，很多人都想着对方能给予自己什么，却不去想自己能给予对方什么。

Equality between males and females is another important concept that many Chinese need to accept.

很多中国人需要接受的另一个重要观念是：男女平等。

-------------译者：Moonrabbit-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

–]KyleEvans[S] 11 指标 1 天前 
Anybody else with this problem? In-laws who are shamelessly biased in favour of your wife's brother?

谁还遇到过这种问题？像是岳父岳母偏袒小舅子？

[–]PolypinoonEuropean unx 32 指标 1 天前 
I have a buddy who is married to a Chinese girl who has a younger brother. And yes he gets all the praise while she gets all the flack. All the money and the house will go to him none to her. He can do no wrong she can only do wrong.

我的好朋友娶了一位有弟弟的中国女士。是的，小舅子得到的总是表扬而他的妻子总是被数落。所有的存款和房产将来都是他的，而不是她的。他不可能会犯错，而她，只会犯错。

This is Chinese Confucianism at its "finest". The son is glorious and the daughter is seen as a piece of shit. And that extends to whatever guy she marries. I can't blame Chinese men for avoid these girls. They already have enough filial piety bullshit to deal with in their own family.

这就是中国儒家思想的“最完美”展示。儿子是家族荣耀而女儿则一文不值。而这种歧视还延续到了女儿今后嫁的男人身上。我不能谴责中国男性对于这种女性的排斥。他们自己家的那摊破事就已经够棘手的了。

[–]Smirth 24 指标 1 天前 
Chinese women are life support systems for a son-creating womb
I wish this was a ridiculous stereotype but I had multiple chinese teachers who were sent back to their village for an arranged marriage.
It's so shit

中国女性不过是用来生儿育儿的移动子宫。我真希望这只是个愚昧的成见，但我认识好几位中国老师被要求回到家乡嫁给一个家里安排好的男人。这真是太操蛋了！

[–]Lewey_B 5 指标 1 天前 
In traditional chinese culture once the daughter is married she “changes families” and becomes her husband's family member that might be an explanation. Basically only males are considered real members of the family.

在中国传统文化中，嫁出去的女儿就是“泼出去的水”，从此和娘家再无瓜葛变成是夫家的人了，可能这就是这种现象出现的根本原因。基本上只有男丁才被认为是家族的真正成员。

[–]PM_me-your_bicycle 7 指标 1 天前* 
China is one of a few countries where the suicide rate among women is higher than among men. Bangladesh has highest suicide rate among women China is the second one.
Edit: the Bangladesh / China situation was in 1999. Overall suicide rate is probably lower in China these days.

中国是世界上少数几个女性自杀率比男性高的国家之一。孟加拉国的女性自杀率全球第一，而中国是第二名。
补充：上述数据源于1999年的调查。现今中国的女性总体自杀率可能比当时低。

[–]Tommust 10 指标 1 天前 
A co-worker told me that she had a massive argument with her parent because they didn't want to pay for her uni education since they were saving the money for the younger brother's education. She was in her late 30s so maybe attitudes has changed towards women since.

我的一位同事告诉我她曾经和家里因为大学学费的事大吵了一架；她的父母不想供她读大学，因为他们要省钱供弟弟读书。她现在快40岁了，可能现在对女性的态度跟之前不一样了。

[–]HautamakiCanada 18 指标 1 天前 
I had a gf with a younger brother. I wish I knew then what I know now. The kid was a piece of shit. Dropped out of school at 17. Did no work. Wanted to be a gangster. Robbed cash and my laptop out of my house to get in good with a gang. Ended up in jail. Gf and her father covered for him the whole time he was their perfect angel. Finally when he was in jail they had to admit he robbed me and promised to pay me back. They never did. This isn’t an uncommon story; fuck younger brothers.

我的前女友有个弟弟。我希望我当时就明白我现在知道的这些事。那个小子就是个王八蛋。17岁就辍学了。不工作。想当个混混。他从我家抢走我的现金还有笔记本电脑，就为了向某个帮派示好。现在被关在牢里。她和她的父亲从头到尾都在包庇这小子，因为他可是他们心中的乖宝宝。最后等他入狱了，他们才不得不承认是这小子抢了我的钱财并保证一定会还我钱。然而他们并没有遵守约定。这不是一个具有共性的故事：去你妈的小舅子！

-------------译者：晓尹子-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]marmakoide 7 指标 1 天前 
My in-laws don't do that they really put my wife and her younger bro on an equal footing. They are not educated people but they have I don't how to name that a certain intelligence of the heart ? As a result my brother in law is a guy who is not acting like an emperor he always helps a lot his parents or us and respects my wife ie. his sister. He is a genuine good guy free from a lot of those traits that we decry often on this sub.

我的岳父岳母不会做那种事情，他们对我、我的妻子和我的小舅子是一视同仁的。他们虽然没接受过教育，但是他们有一种我不知道该如何形容的品质，大概是一种心灵的智慧？因此，我的小舅子不像个皇帝般，他为人处世非常好，总会对他的父母和我们夫妻俩给予很多帮助，他也很尊敬我的妻子。他是一个纯粹的好人，没有那些我们经常谴责的不好品性。

[–]HotNaturedUnited States 12 指标 1 天前 
This is exactly our experience. My wife has twin younger brothers! And it's become a sort of perfect storm: (1) their father was diagnosed with cancer so the two started running his business (one the factories the other the finances) at the age of 19 (2) she has an older sister too who is extremely traditional (lives in HK and participates in anti-independence protests has a very traditional Chinese marriage in which she is subservient despite the fact that her family bought them their apt and got the guy his job) (3) the dad is a total dog with multiple other women so he rarely spends time around the mom (4) they're from a T3 (5) my wife would have been aborted if not for a sonogram confusion and her mom aborted at least 4 times in between her and the brothers & (6) my wife studied liberal arts in the states (where we met) so she's well-versed in things like gender studies and the patriarchy.

这是我们的真实经历。我妻子有对双胞胎弟弟！而事情最后发展到就如大灾难一般：
（1）他们父亲被诊断出得了癌症，所以那俩兄弟在19岁的时候就开始替他父亲经营生意了（一个管理工厂方面，一个管理财务）；（2）我妻子还有一个姐姐，姐姐是个非常传统的女人（她生活在香港，多次参加反独立抗议活动，她过着非常传统的婚姻生活：她对她的丈夫卑躬屈膝，尽管实际上是她的家庭给他们买的公寓，连她丈夫的工作也是她家里帮忙找的）;(3)他们的父亲就是个渣男，和很多女人鬼混过，他很少花时间陪他们的母亲；（4）他们居住在3线城市；（5）如果不是B超图弄错了，我妻子根本不可能出生，她妈妈在生她和她两弟弟之间至少流过4次产；（6）我妻子在美国（我们相遇的地方）学的是文科，所以她对像两性研究和父权制之类的非常精通。

This all came to a head this CNY and she has been antagonizing her sister on wechat and arguing with her mom ever since. We left early even. The short version is that my wife feels her opinion means fuck all to her mom meanwhile the younger brothers make all of the big family decisions now financial and otherwise. She's trying not to blame her mom as much and just see it as backwards traditional Chinese bull shit but her childhood was fucked because of it. I've heard so many examples but this one stuck: when her mom would make chicken her brothers were each given the leg + thigh. If my wife tried to take it she would be beat and sent away without dinner. Here's a more recent example: a commercial tenant at a property the family owns left ahead of the contract with back rent owed so my wife found a lawyer and pretty much handled everything - - just needed the go-ahead. The mom balked has had her agent call my wife to ask the same shit and now has the brother driving in from their hometown to see the same lawyer. It's inane.

这一切矛盾冲突在今年新年的时候达到了临界点，自那之后，她和她姐姐在微信上互相敌对，和她妈妈也争吵不断。我们甚至早早地就离开了。故事的简短版本就是，我妻子觉得她的意见对她妈妈来说一文不值，与此同时，弟弟们现在执掌家庭的大权了，经济上和其他的一些方面都由他们来决定。她试着尽量不去责怪她的母亲，她把这些看做是中国传统（文化价值观里）的糟粕，但是这些毁了她的童年。我听说过很多这种例子，但是这个却让我最为震惊：当她妈妈烧鸡的时候，他的弟弟们一人一个鸡腿。如果我的妻子想要吃鸡腿的话，她会被打甚至被罚不让吃饭。还有一个最近的例子，他们家有一个商铺的所有权，结果租户拖欠租金，所以我妻子找个律师完美解决了这件事——仅仅只需要直接去做罢了。她妈妈畏畏缩缩的，竟然让她的代理打电话给我妻子来问同样的问题，现在还让她一个弟弟开车去见同一个律师。这实在是太愚蠢了。

Anyway she's told me that she read somewhere that the one-child policy elevated the status of women in many households but households with a son and daughter actually get even worse than previous generations lmfao

反正，她告诉我她看到一些文章说独生子女政策使得女人在很多家庭中的地位有所提高，但是有儿有女的家庭中女人的地位却比前一代的情况更糟糕，这真是笑死我了。

-------------译者：骑乌龟。追兔子-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]MrsPandaBear 4 指标 1 天前 
It’s never been an issue in my family. My mom is the oldest of four. She has a younger brother and two younger sisters. Her parents encouraged her to pursue education and career and she ended up moving away eventually to America. She said most of household chores and caring for the younger sisters fell on her younger brother who was the oldest after she left. There was never any favoritism or channeling of resources towards him as far as my mom could tell. It was surprising that grandma gave her greatest asset her house to my uncle but my uncle was designated her caretaker once she got up in age. She lived with him for ten years until her death and they did the day to day care taking. I guess the designated caretaker typically gets all the assets.

在我家里，这样的事从不是个问题。我的母亲是他们4个兄弟姐妹中最大的，她有一个弟弟和两个妹妹。她的父母鼓励她求学和追求事业，最终，她离开家乡去了美国。她说大部分家务活和照顾妹妹的担子都落在了排行老二、自她离开后最大的弟弟身上。据我母亲所说，她的父母并没有对于弟弟有任何偏袒。奇怪的是祖母把她的最大资产给了我叔叔，但是同时我叔也被指定为在我祖母年事已高时的照看人。祖母和叔叔在一起生活有十年之久，叔叔也日复一日的照顾祖母直到祖母逝世。我猜被指定的照看人确实该获得所有遗产。

On my dad’s aside he was the oldest son he had three brothers and one sister. With caring for the grandparents my dad provided most of their funds and helped to organize their care. His brothers all contributed with help or money. His sister never did anything never contributed money and rarely came to help my grandma out. I don’t know if she was marginalized over her brothers growing up...if she was she has the right to walk away I think.

在我父亲这边，他是长子，他有三个弟弟和一个妹妹。在照顾祖父母的过程中，我的父亲提供了大部分资金并组织照顾祖父母。他的所有弟弟要么提供帮助要么提供钱。但是，他的妹妹却没做任何事，从没拿出一分钱，也很少过来帮忙照顾我祖母。我不知道她是否在其兄长们的成长过程中被父母冷落了……如果是这样的话，我想她有权一走了之。

Most other Chinese I know are family friends or family. Almost all have only child’s so it’s hard for me to say if a boy would have been more favored. What I’ve seen is that parents with only a daughter tended to push their daughter to be successful perhaps displacing that ambition from a son. It stands to reason that if a family went to great length to have a son they probably do favor the son over the daughter. However I’m cautious about blaming patriarchy for all cases. Some families simply favor one child over another.

大多数我认识的中国人都是家里的朋友或者是家人、亲戚。几乎所有的人都只有独生子女，所以我很难说一个男孩是否会更受青睐。但是，我看到的是只有一个女儿的父母往往会把他们的女儿培养得更成功，或许，这是把对儿子的期望转移到女儿身上了。（译者注：说的有点像，摔跤吧，爸爸的意思）按理说，如果一个家庭有一个儿子，他们可能会比女儿更喜欢儿子。然而，我不认为所有案例的缘由都是父权制导致的。有些家庭单纯只是更偏爱一个孩子多过其他孩子罢了。

[–]laowailaoshistyleUnited States 8 指标 1 天前 
Have seen this myself from stories told me by my female Chinese students about their arranged marriages and receiving little compared to their brothers. Also in general have seen a lot of situations where families play favorites in order to keep at least one child and their spouse living close to the family in order to take care of the parents; they're very manipulative.

我曾经在我的中国女学生那里听到过这样的故事，相对于她们的兄弟，她们受到（父母的关注）很少且常被包办婚姻。而且总的来说，大多数情况下，父母玩偏爱游戏是为了保证至少有一个孩子和其配偶能够住得离家里近些以便照顾他们；他们（对孩子）的控制欲很高。

More than one American friend who married a local told me the son in his wife's family was just a totally lazy spoiled brat and the whole family always tried to funnel resources his way even though he was rarely or never employed including trying to manipulate the foreigner's Chinese wife to get him to provide for her brother.

不止一个和当地人结婚的美国朋友告诉我，在他妻子的家庭里，儿子完全是个被宠坏的懒孩子，尽管他很少或者说永远不可能会找到工作，整个家族还是找寻人脉资源为他铺路，这包括试图控制这个外国朋友的中国妻子给她的弟弟提供帮助。

In this case he told me when he realized the brother-in-law was a mooch he stopped giving any money to his wife's family and the wife was happy about it but she could not be the one to initiate that decision.

在这种情况下，他告诉我，当他发现小舅子是个游手好闲蹭吃蹭喝的懒货时，他就不再给他妻子的娘家任何钱了，他的妻子也很乐见于此，但是她不能是发起做出这项决定的人。

Because she was older had her own career and the foreign husband was financially independent the family had no way to guilt trip them and the matter was just dropped and relations continued without any drama. This was a local woman born in the 70's but my students are born in 80's and 90's.

因为她比较年长且有自己的事业，同时她的外籍丈夫在经济上独立自主，所以家里没办法用内疚罪恶感去责难套牢他们，事情就这样平息了，他们的关系在没任何戏剧性发展的情况下继续下去了。这是个在生于70年代的当地女性身上所发生的事，但是我的学生们大多是80后和90后。

 -------------译者：Moonrabbit-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]tory1989 5 指标 1 天前 
I'm Chinese living in China.
I think such things exist here but not in a large scale.
Ppl don't do this especially in large cities.

我是中国人，现居国内。我认为文章中提及的现象的确存在，但普遍性不高。特别是大城市里的居民根本不会在乎这些。

But I do know that parents of a girl would always ask for gift money before the girl is married believing the man should pay for them for their parenting since he will take her away for like a lifetime.
But it depends. It is considered a tradition and many of the modern Chinese would ask for a symbolic amount.

但的确女方家长通常都会在女儿出嫁前要聘礼，他们认为自己养育女儿理应得到报偿，毕竟女儿要和男方过一辈子了。但是这个现象还是看人的。聘礼被看作是一项传统，当代的很多女方家长只会要男方象征性地出一些钱。

[–]Raplaplaf 2 指标 1 天前 
It really depends on where you live.

这真的和你住在哪个地区有关系。

[–]annadpk 4 指标 1 天前 
It doesn't make sense. Why should Chinese men avoid a woman with a younger brother on the premise that the parents spoil the younger brother? What does that have to with the man's relations with his wife? How much time will you be spending with the in-laws?

没道理啊。为什么中国男人会以女方家长可能会溺爱自己次子的前提下而拒绝一个有弟弟的中国女性呢？这个小舅子会给夫妻关系带来多大的影响？男方到底又会花多长时间和女方娘家人呆在一起呢？

One thing I learned living in Malaysia when Chinese family sizes used to be large like 4-5 kids well into 1990s is you should avoid Chinese girls with older brothers and no sisters. The more older brothers they have the more spoiled they are. I think that applies to most cultures.

我在马来西亚生活时学到的一件事是，在20世纪90年代，中国家庭倾向于有4-5个孩子，你要避开的应该是那种有哥哥没姐妹的中国女性才是。哥哥与其的年龄差越大，那个女性被宠坏的程度就越高。我认为大多数文化都有这种现象。

[–]misken67 16 指标 1 天前 
Malaysian Chinese and Chinese Chinese are very different culturally.

马来华人和大陆华人在文化上非常不一样。

[–]zakazaw 2 指标 1 天前 
Very true. Malaysian Chinese are also different from Hong Kong Chinese.

对的。马来华人和香港华人也不同。

[–]KeepThat 2 指标 1 天前 
Interesting. But in mainland most city families only have one child while in rural 2 to 3. I don't think now most young people before fall in love with a girl have investaged a girl's family to figure out how many sisters/bros she has. When the girl become a GF those info not a big deal won't result a break up.. While before a relationship girls care more about family bkg than man..

真是有趣。然而在大陆，大部分城市居民只有一个孩子，而在农村，每家会有2-3个孩子。我不认为大多数年轻男性在和女性坠入爱河之前，会把女方家里有几个兄弟/姐妹的情况给提前调查清楚。而当这位女性升级为女友时，这些信息又无足轻重，起码不会为此分手....而在感情关系中，女性比男性更在乎对方的家庭背景……

-------------译者：为非作歹2008-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]annadpk 5 指标 1 天前 
Malaysian Chinese families are more "traditional" because they had larger families for longer than those in the PRC. And in the 1950s the fertility rate for Malaysian Chinese was as high as 7 which is higher than in the PRC at the time.

马来西亚华人家庭更加“传统”，因为他们是大家庭的时间比中国的那些家庭更久。20世纪50年代，马来西亚华人的生育率高达7，比当时中国的生育率还高。

Chinese in places like Indonesia and Malaysia had really large families from about 1930-1980s with the average family size being 4-6 kids. But the interesting thing is the generation before that came from China in 1890s-1920 the family sizes were smaller about 2-4 kids I think it has to with better health care and nutrition. You see that in among Malaysian Chinese the grandfather would have 2-3 siblings the father would have 7-8 siblings the son 1-2 siblings.

在20世纪30年代到20世纪80年代，印尼和马来西亚的华人都是大家庭，平均每家都会有4-6个小孩。但有趣的是，19世纪90年代到20世纪80年代的上一代华人移民中，家庭成员较少，大概只有2-4个小孩，我觉得这是因为医疗保健和营养情况改善所促成的。你看在马来西亚华人里面，祖父辈的一般有2-3个兄弟姐妹，父辈的一般有7-8个兄弟姐妹，而儿子辈的有1-2个兄弟姐妹。

Malaysian Chinese / Indonesian Chinese family dynamics even as recently ago as 30-40 years are like Qing Dynasty merchant soap operas because many of them were in business and often live in the same house. I been to some Chinese Indonesian family homes in the 1980s and the whole extended family would live in one large house 4 generations living under one roof.

马来西亚/印尼华人家庭状态即使在最近30-40年间，也像是商业电视肥皂剧里的清朝那样，因为他们中的许多人都是做生意的，且经常是住在同一间房子里的。20世纪80年代我曾经去过一些印尼的华人家里，他们有的一家4代人都住在一间大房子里，住在同一屋檐下。

Of course its not like that anymore. But to see something like that on a large scale in China you would have to go back to pre-Revolutionary China.

当然，现在的情况已有所不同。但如果你想在中国看到很多类似的这种情况，大概只能穿越到解放前的中国了。

[–]KeepThat -5 指标 1 天前 
Nonsense first time heard

胡说八道，我第一次听说。

[–]Benchen70 9 指标 1 天前 
you should go out more

你要多出去走走看看才是。

[–]KeepThat -3 指标 1 天前 
Ok it is possible in some places. But in general I think most post 80s & 90s don't care.

好吧，可能有些地方是那样，但总的来说我觉得大多数80后90后并不在乎。

[–]Benchen70 4 指标 1 天前 
I am post 80's and I can tell you 4 out of 5 of my Chinese female friends who have younger brothers have this issue. It is also not restricted to China.

我是80后的，我可以告诉你，我有弟弟的女性朋友中80%有这类问题。这种情况也不仅限于在中国。

I have lived in Australia for almost 30 years and many of my Chinese friends are in a similar fashion. There are two groups from China. Either their parents came out around 1989 and early 2000's or they have just come to Australia in the last 5-6 years. I have Chinese-Malaysian and Hong Kong female friends too. A lot of them describe this issue in their families. This is not just about China. This is about Chinese culture stemming from the view of males being more important than females.

我在澳大利亚生活了近30年，我的许多中国朋友也是类似的情况。有两批是中国人，他们的父母要么是在1989年到2000年初来的，要不就是最近5-6年间刚到澳大利亚的。我也有马来西亚华裔和来自香港的女性朋友，她们都和我诉说了类似的家庭问题。这不止发生在中国。是最初的中国文化价值观里，男性就比女性更重要。

Edit: I guess you can care or not care. But at the end of the day if every family meeting reminds you of this issue you are going to get really frustrated.

编辑：我觉得你可以选择在意或者不在意，但如果到了最后，你发现每次家庭聚会都在不断提醒你这个问题的存在，你是真的会变得很沮丧的。

[–]KeepThat 2 指标 1 天前 
It is true Chinese parents prefer boy than girl even most post 80s & 90s prefer to have a boy baby. BUT I am talking about "Why [Chinese] men avoid women with [younger] brothers?" I mean most post 80s & 90s don't care if their GF has a brother(s)

的确中国父母重男轻女，即使是大多数的80后和90后也会更想要男孩。但我问的是“为什么中国男人会避开有小舅子的女人？？”大多数80后90后完全不在乎他们的女朋友是不是有弟弟。

[–]Benchen70 1 指标 1 天前 
Ah. Thank you. I am sorry for the confusion

啊，谢谢你提醒，不好意思理解错了。

[–]TheDark1 2 指标 1 天前 
But their parents?

那男方的父母在意吗？

[–]HotNaturedUnited States 3 指标 1 天前 
As far as I have read and experienced this is still quite prent basically anywhere that isn't T1

就我所知和所经历的来说，这在每个不是1线城市的地方仍是个很普遍存在的严重问题。