有可能养一只熊猫作为宠物吗? [美国媒体]

Isit possible to keep a panda as a pet?

有可能养一只熊猫作为宠物吗?

AmandaSmith, former teacher
I guess the firstthing you should know is that China owns all pandas on earth. The pandas yousee in zoos of other countries are all lent from China and only for a certainperiod of time.

首先你应该知道的是，中国拥有地球上所有的熊猫。你在其他国家动物园看到的大熊猫都是从中国借出的，而且只借出一段时间。

Thecost of having pandas in those countries is stunning. The Chinese governmentcharges 100 million RMB per year, let alone the high spending of keeping apanda. You have to build bamboo forest and hire panda experts so that thepandas can survive.

这些国家养大熊猫的成本是惊人的。中国政府每年要收取1亿元人民币的费用，更不用说养熊猫的高额开支了。你必须建造竹林，聘请熊猫专家，这样熊猫才能生存。



Whenit comes to the mating season, the giant panda will paint secretions of theperianal gland on the post, the stump, the wall, etc. When come back home fromoutside, be ready to be welcomed bu those strange flavors.

到了交配季节，大熊猫会把肛周腺的分泌物涂在柱子上、树桩上、墙壁上等地方。当大熊猫从外面回来的时候，准备好迎接那些奇怪的味道吧。

Soit may be a good idea to just have a look at this cute animal from time totime.

所以最好还是偶尔看看这个可爱的动物。



Sawthe picture? Not very pleasing jaws either huh? The jawbones and molars ofPandas are really strong, so that they can crush the bamboo in their mouths.Take out a second, and imagine, how effective would they be on bone and flesh?Quite a scary thought, nonetheless, all that glitters isn't gold, and thepandas, in the end, might not be so friendly and adorable after all.

看到照片了吗？不是很讨人喜欢的下颚。大熊猫的颌骨和臼齿非常强壮，所以它们可以把嘴里的竹子压碎。花一秒钟，想象一下，它们对骨骼和肉体有多大的作用？另外，还是有一个相当可怕的想法，熊猫有时可能不会那么友好和可爱。



Moreover,Pandas generally like to live in solitary confinement. This is pretty much thereason why you will never find a group, or a herd of pandas ever. They don'tlike company from their own crowd, so would they like you? If I were you, I'dreckon they wouldn't!!

此外，熊猫一般喜欢单独监禁。这就是你永远找不到一群熊猫的原因。他们不喜欢自己的同伴，所以你觉得他们会喜欢你吗?如果我是你，我想他们不会的!!



I’dneed to grow a hundred acres or so of bamboo forest. I could do that in theMississippi delta. My mom grew up there and we used to take summer vacationsthere and bamboo grows wild there. It would take a few years to get a healthyforest, but bamboo grows fast. I’d also want a plant geneticist to hybridizethe bamboo strain that Pandas like best with another strain that’s easier todigest. Pandas don’t digest bamboo very well, so they spend most of the dayeating. And produce 60–90 pounds of poop per day. (Hybridizing was anotherteam’s project. They won for best project at our tournament. Really cool idea.)

我需要种100英亩左右的竹林。我可以选择种植在密西西比三角洲。我妈妈在那里长大，我们经常在那里度暑假，那里的竹子长得很茂盛。要得到一片健康的森林需要几年时间，但竹子生长得很快。我还想让植物遗传学家把熊猫最喜欢的竹子和另一种更容易消化的竹子杂交。熊猫不能很好地消化竹子，所以它们每天大部分时间都在吃，并且每天产生60-90磅的粪便。

And,as Mercedes Lackey always says, you need a vet within 45 minutes. So I’d haveto go back to school, get a degree in biology, get admitted to veterinaryschool, and become a veterinarian. Figure 6 years for all that.

MercedesLackey总是说，你需要在45分钟内找到兽医。所以我必须回到学校，获得生物学学位，进入兽医学校，成为一名兽医。完成这些需要6年。

OnceI had my Giant Panda, I know I could play with him. When they are being raisedin sanctuaries, the trainers don’t want them to become comfortable aroundhumans. so the trainers always dress in Panda suits, and soak themselves inPanda pee. It would be totally worth it to play with a Giant Panda. I guess Ibetter get at least 2.

一旦我有了我的大熊猫，我可以和他玩。当它们在保护基地被养大时，饲养员不希望它们在这里生活过于舒适。所以训练员总是穿着熊猫套装，泡在熊猫尿里。和大熊猫一起玩是完全值得的。我希望至少我能有两只熊猫。

MercedesR. Lackey, Owned by 12 parrots, a Starling, 4 Cats, 6 Peafowl.
OriginallyAnswered: What do I need to do to keep a Giant Panda as a pet?
Youknew I would spot this one, didn’t you? :P
(Folks,this one is facetious. So have a good time with it.)

伙计们，接下来的会很有趣，所以享受它吧。

First,you need to be a Super Villain. Since Giant Pandas are heavily protected, onlya Super Villain would be able to either (a) steal one from a zoo or (b) poachone from the wild.

首先，你需要成为一个超级恶棍。由于大熊猫受到严格的保护，只有超级恶棍才能(a)从动物园偷一只或(b)从野外偷猎一只。



Althoughthis is not strictly necessary, since Pandas are not entirely a solitaryspecies, and anyway Baby Pandas are the most kawai things in the universe andyou’ll probably want to have some on hand at all times, you’ll want a CloningChamber. This will allow you to continually replace your Giant Panda at will.

虽然这不完全是必要的，因为熊猫并不完全是一个孤立的物种，而且无论如何，熊猫宝宝是宇宙中最可爱的事物，你可能随时都想拥有它，那你就需要一个克隆室。这样你就可以随心所欲地拥有你的大熊猫了。

Alternatively….

另外….

Youwould want the Private Island and the Cloning Chamber, and not have to gothrough the Great Panda Heist. You could, without fear, get cell samples fromevery captive Giant Panda known, using your Loyal Henchmen and forgedscientific credentials. Then you could clone yourself an entire zoo full ofGiant Pandas. While this act might seem to put your status as a Super Villainat risk—after all, by doing so, you would be preserving the species againstaccident or a Panda Plague—you can retain your status by never allowing anyoneelse to enjoy your Panda Paradise, seeing and cuddling adorable baby Pandas, oreven allowing anyone but the Panda Keepers and you inside it. And those, youwill have rendered mute and illiterate in order to keep Panda Paradise asecret, which is, after all, the proper Super Villain thing to do.

你想要私人岛屿和克隆室，而不必去抢劫大熊猫。你可以毫无畏惧地使用你忠诚的同伴和伪造的科学证书，从每只已知的圈养大熊猫身上获取细胞样本。然后你就可以克隆出一整个动物园的大熊猫。尽管这一行为可能会使你作为超级恶棍的地位受到威胁，但通过这样做，你将保护这个物种免受意外或熊猫瘟疫的侵害，你可以不允许任何人分享你的熊猫天堂，任何人（除了熊猫饲养员和你）都不可以看到和拥抱可爱的熊猫宝宝，而你会变成哑巴和文盲，以保护熊猫乐园的秘密，这毕竟是超级恶棍应该做的事。