CNN：为什么我如此庆幸高考的失败？ [美国媒体]

Why failing the gaokao was the best thingthat ever happened to me

为什么高考失败对我来说是最好的事？



Beijing (CNN)This week, millions of Chinesehigh school students will take the two-day college entrance exam, or gaokao.

这一周，许多中国高中生要参加为期两天的大学入学考试，或者称，高考。

When I took that grueling test in 2009, Ihad been told since I was a small child that it would be the most importanttask I ever completed.

2009年，我参加了这一累人的考试，自小起我就被告知，这是我人生最重要的考试。

For generations of Chinese -- and thisstill holds true for thousands living in rural China today -- a collegeeducation was their one ticket to success and upward mobility. Failure meant nodegree, poor job prospects and a life full of regret.

对于很多代的中国人，甚至是目前中国农村的人们来说，大学教育是他们通往成功的门票，也是向上流动的机会。高考失败意味着没有地位，没有好工作，和一辈子的遗憾。

So I studied hard, got into key junior andhigh schools, and hoped to get into a good university in Beijing. To studywhat, I didn't know.

因此我努力学习，进重点中学，希望能够去北京的好大学念书。至于学什么，我并不清楚。

Studying for gaokao was exhausting bothmentally and physically. A typical high school senior's day ran from 7 a.m. to5.30 p.m. Most of my classmates stayed in school for an extra self-studysession that didn't end until 9 p.m. I was one of the few who chose to study athome at night, mainly to escape the tension hovering in the air.

备战高考是一件令人身心劳累的事情。对于一个高中生来说，典型的一天从早上7点到下午5点半。大多数同学会在学校自习到至少9点。我是少数选择在家自习的，为了躲避紧张的氛围。

Teachers would tell us to focus on nothingbut our studies. Parents would do anything and everything to ensure an optimumlearning environment for their children.

老师告诉我们要专注于学业，不可以分心。家长们会竭尽全力确保为孩子们提供适宜的学习环境。

Even my mother and father, far lessstressed out than most Chinese parents, would cook me an extra meal every nightwhen I was preparing for the gaokao, even though I didn't really need it.

甚至连我的父母，事实上他们的严厉程度低于大多数父母，也会在晚上为我加餐，好让我更好地备战高考，但实际上我并不需要。

At home, I would usually sit at my deskafter dinner, trying to make sense of the mumbo-jumbo, while sneaking peeks ata magazine or book hidden beneath my work, always wary of a sudden parentalinspection. This of course only stretched my already extended days even longer.

在家里，吃完饭后我坐在桌前，面对晦涩难懂的课本，经常偷偷瞄一眼桌子下的杂志，生怕父母发觉。当然，这只是让我疲惫的一天更加漫长罢了。

Torn up by the guilt of not studying hardenough and fear of failure, I developed severe anxiety, having to rely onmedication to sleep during my last year of high school.

饱受罪恶感和生怕失败的情感煎熬，我出现了严重的焦虑症状。在高三，我需要依赖药物来获得睡眠。

When it came to the test itself, I failedspectacularly.

当最后考试来临的时候，我失败得一塌糊涂。

The day the results were released, Ithought I was prepared for bad news. But when it came, my brain went intoshock. I thought my life was doomed. I was so ashamed I locked myself in myroom all day until my worried parents broke through the door.

当最后结果公布时，我以为自己已经做了最坏的打算。但当它真正来临时，我的大脑一片空白。我以为我的人生完蛋了。我整日将自己关在房内，直到父母担心地把门撞开。

I had hoped to go to a university inBeijing to study languages, a hard ask for a kid from the provinces. Of coursethat didn't happen.

我曾经希望到北京的大学去学习语言，但这对于省城的孩子来说却难以启齿。当然，这最后也并未发生。

My parents asked whether I would considerstudying another year and sitting the test again. The thought sent a shiverdown my spine. I said no.

我的父母问我想不想复读，这令我不寒而栗，我坚决地回答不。

Instead, I attended a third tier universityin my hometown on Hangzhou. I majored in editing and publishing. It wasn't bad,but I was unhappy and unmotivated. During my two years there I never completelyunderstood why I had to study so much extra nonsense, or why my fellow studentswere so obsessed with joining clubs and organizations to get "leadershipexperience" (something I later discovered wasn't unique to Chineseuniversities).

最后，我到了杭州的一个三本学校就读，专业是编辑出版。这不算太糟，但我却闷闷不乐，缺乏动力。在学校里的两年，我完全不明白自己为什么要学习这么多无用的东西，也不明白为什么我的同学们如此热衷于参加社团活动，获得所谓的“领导经历”（不过后来我意识到，这并不是中国学校独有的）。

So I dropped out, in what many of my fellowstudents probably thought was an insane decision, and transferred to theUniversity of Iowa in the U.S. to study journalism.

因此我退学了，对于我的很多同学来说，这是个疯狂的决定。我来到了美国的爱荷华大学，学习新闻。

Thinking back, the stress and heartache ofthe gaokao seems somewhat insignificant. My life was neither changed or ruinedby my "failure."

现在回首，高考时的压力和痛苦似乎不值一提。我的生活并没有因此改变，也没有被所谓的“失败”摧毁。

What truly shaped me were my experiences atIowa, where I studied journalism, developed a passion for it and cherishedevery opportunity I got to practice.

让我真正改变的是在爱荷华大学的经历，我学习了新闻，对此充满兴趣，抓住一切实践的机会。

I'm actually rather grateful I failed thegaokao. Had I gone to a prestigious Chinese university, I would never haveexperienced Western schooling -- a system not without its own flaws -- and Iwould certainly not have understood the true meaning of education.

事实上，我为自己的高考失败感到庆幸。如果我到了一个优秀的中国大学，我将没有机会体验到西式教育。当然，西式教育体系有其缺陷，但我却真正感受到了教育的意义。



I worked far harder at Iowa than when I wasin high school. By that time, I had matured and knew what I wanted. I wanted toget the most out of my education and ensure every penny my parents paid for mytuition -- twice as much as local American students -- was well spent.

我在爱荷华学习比高中更加卖力。那时的我更加成熟，知道自己想要什么。我希望通过教育获得更多，确保父母为我支付的学费都是有意义的。我比当地的美国学生更加卖力。

Today, I couldn't answer any of thefearsome gaokao questions, but if I took anything away from that unpleasant,unsuccessful experience, I think it was a simple truth: no pain, no gain.

今天，我没有办法回答关于高考的任何问题。但如果问我从那段不开心、不成功的经历中获得了什么，那我的答案是一个简单的事实：没有付出，就没有收获。