你现在能在eBay上购买到的十种最奇葩食品 [美国媒体]

-------------译者：mifantasy-审核者：zzzzbbbyyy------------

eBay is the great equalizer of online marketplaces.
Aside from firearms human remains and meth recipe books you can buy and sell just about anything on here—and when the internet grants them an outlet weirdos will find their way to it. There are those who hope to make big bank with potato chips that look like Harry Dean Stanton and others who hope to unload the limited-edition sodas they’ve been hoarding since 1992. There’s the gross the gruesome and the deeply bizarre. There are nostalgic treasures and edible oddities. If you’re ever longed for an item of clothing emblazoned with the logo of a long-defunct fruit drink line or wished to spend your hard-earned money on an unusually shaped morsel of nacho cheese powder and maltodextrin you are in great luck friends.

除了武器/人体残骸/制药书籍外，你可以在ebay上买卖任何东西。只要因特网授权了某种商品，怪人们总能找到它们。有某些人就希望创造一个看起来像Harry Dean Stanton的炸土豆条银行，还有某些人希望抛售从1992年开始贮存的限量版苏打。总有一些恶心的、可怕的、怪异的东西在ebay上。有一些让人怀旧的宝贝或者是可食用的怪异食品。如果你渴望穿上一件纹有某条不再存在的果汁饮料生产线徽章的衣服，或者把你辛苦赚来的钱花在一口非常规形状的玉米芝士粉和麦芽糖糊精上，那朋友恭喜你来对地方了。

We dug through the depths of eBay to bring you a current list of its most absurd forgotten and WTF-inducing food-related items. Bid away!

我们把ebay网翻了个底朝天，现在将带给你一份最荒谬也是最让你骂娘的与食品有关的商品清单，请把他们带走吧！

-------------译者：magicqueen99-审核者：zzzzbbbyyy------------

Superman Cheeto

超人芝士条



For a cool $5k you can be the proud owner of this “unique” Cheeto. This is a great investment. (Worth noting: The world’s most expensive Superman comic sold for $3.2 million on eBay in 2014.) Think of your future.

只要酷酷地甩出5000美元，你就可以自豪地拥有这种“独一无二”的芝士条。这是一个重大的投资。（值得注意的是：2014年，世界上最贵的超人漫画以320万美元的价格在易趣网上出售。）想想你的未来。

50 lbs of Oreo Filling

50磅奥利奥馅



This one goes out to all the dedicated Oreo filling-scrapers—finally someone’s done the hard work for you. Fifty pounds should be enough to get you through the week right? Thank god there’s free shipping.

做出这玩意儿可得跟所有专用的奥利奥馅料刮板耗上了----幸好最后有人帮你干了这么难的差事。50磅总可以让你一周都安生了吧？谢谢老天爷，还免运费。

-------------译者：荆楚老贼-审核者：zzzzbbbyyy------------

“It’s a Boy!” Gum Cigars

“恭喜！是个男孩！”牌口香糖雪茄



Ah the “classic birth announcement.” Yay you’re pregnant! And since you can’t keep your grubby paws off that case of Cubans here are some flavorless blue gum rods that’ll surely hit the spot.

这算是“生娩经典句子之一”了。恭喜你有宝宝了！虽然你仍然会忍不住的想去抽雪茄，但是没关系，这些无味的蓝色口香糖棒可以满足你的口腹之欲。


Fruitopia Watch

水果国度牌手表



Nothing can prove your commitment to the 90s revival like a defunct Fruitopia accessory. Just like every other 90s product that disappeared into the pop culture abyss this watch is “never used” and “not working.” Remember how Fruitopia had flavors like “Citrus Consciousness” and “Strawberry Passion Awareness”? It was kind of woke AF.

没有任何东西能比一支绝款的水果国度手表更能帮助你展现90年代流行风格。和其他90年代产品一样这款手表也消失在了流行文化的深渊里，这只手表标示着“从未使用过”以及“无法转动”。还记得水果国度那几款“有思想的柑橘”“非常热情的草莓”手表么？听起来有点像醒世格言。

 -------------译者：mifantasy-审核者：zzzzbbbyyy------------

Creamed Possum

奶油负鼠



As much as we’d love to try canned roadkill we’re really really glad that this is just a gag gift. We think. Not sure why they bothered mentioning the sweet potatoes. Please try this and report back.

我们这些喜欢吃“路毙动物”罐头的人几乎都很庆幸这些只是恶作剧的礼物。不知道为什么商家要在包装上标明甜土豆条字样。请尝试这个商品并给出反馈。

Gerber Baby Food Tie

戈伯宝宝食物领带



For the working professional looking to show their allegiance to their most trusted producer of baby mush this silk number will elevate your office look from “run-of-the-mill businessman” to “ABDL” instantly!

对于那些想表达他们对于这个信任的宝宝食品生产商的忠诚的人而言，这个丝质型号领带无疑会瞬间把你“平平无奇的办公室人员”提升为专业奶爸标准。

-------------译者：zzzzbbbyyy-审核者：zzzzbbbyyy------------

Duck Dynasty Chocolate Heart

鸭子王朝巧克力甜心



Because nothing says “I love you” like a heart-shaped fur-lined homophobic-redneck-branded box of chocolates. Romance isn’t dead after all. This will be a nice gift to console your Trump-loving aunt with in three weeks if you’re still speaking at that point. One question remains however: Why is it so hairy?

没有什么东西比一个心形、衬毛、反同的乡下人品牌的盒装巧克力更能表示爱意了。毕竟浪漫还没有死去。这将是三个星期后拿去安慰你那爱川普的阿姨的一个好礼物，如果你们还在谈论那个（哈哈留着安慰自己吧）。然而仍然有一个问题：为什么这么多毛?

Meat Gun

肉枪



DIY jerky just got easier—just load this bad boy up with a pound of ground meat and pull the trig. Gross yes but looks weirdly satisfying. This should be in a gift basket with the creamed possum and the Duck Dynasty chocolates.

自制牛肉干更简单了——只需要给这个坏家伙一磅肉末然后拉动扳机。总的来说不错但看起来足够古怪。它应该和奶油负鼠与鸭子王朝巧克力放到一个礼品篮子里。

-------------译者：s555555555-审核者：zzzzbbbyyy------------

Sake Flavored Kit Kats

 清酒味道的奇巧巧克力 



Of all the odd Kit Kat flavors you can find in Japan this is a contender for the weirdest. They’ve got enough sake in them (.8 percent) for some boozy flavor but not enough to get you drunk. Candy or dark night at your local sushi bar? You’ll never have to choose again.

这款清酒口味的奇巧可以说能在日本找到的奇巧口味里是最怪的。它带有足够的清酒含量（8°）带有些微醺又不会让你醉的味道。晚上去当地的寿司店来上点清酒奇巧，你就欲罢不能了。

Michael Jordan Fruit Snacks

乔丹牌果干



Even Michael Jordan is confused about why these exist why someone saved them for 25 years and what condition the fruit snacks must be in at this point in time. Are they fossilized or frighteningly well-preserved? Only the curious buyer will know. Also seems like a missed opportunity for the seller to charge $23.

就算是迈克尔乔丹也想不到为什么有人会保存这些果干零食25年，它们至今是保存完好的让人吃惊还是已经变成了化石呢？这些好像只有那些好奇买家才会知道，现仅售23刀，仅此一件过了这村儿可就没这店了！
Thank you for joining us on our journey through the world’s largest online auction house. May all of your creamed possum dreams come true.

谢谢读完全文的读者们和小编一起看过世上最奇葩的网上商品售卖，愿所有的奇葩商品都能卖的出去.

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