有哪些好办法可以惹恼中国人？（二） [美国媒体]

-------------译者：古柯-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------



What are some good ways of annoying Chinese people?

有哪些好办法可以惹恼中国人？


-------------译者：古柯-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Paul Denlinger Used to study human behavior; now I just observe it.
Written Jul 25 2012
Paul Denlinger 曾经研究人类行为；现在我只是观察。
Some things to say:
"Where did you get this 5000 years of Chinese history from? The only people who say China has 5000 years of history are Chinese but nobody shows where they got the number from? Did you pull it out of your butt?"
"What's the big deal about Japan invading China anyway? Let bygones be bygones..."
"What do you mean people hurt the feelings of Chinese people? Come on you're a big country you can take it!"
"You say Chinese hate Japanese but when I was in Taiwan all the Taiwanese love everything Japanese. They love the food the music their TV shows. As a matter of fact all the Taiwanese I met like Japan much more than they like China."

要这么说：
“你从哪知道的5000年的中国历史？唯一说中国有5000年历史的是中国人，但是没人知道他们是哪找的数字？你使用屁股想出来的么？”
“日本入侵中国有什么大不了的，这又如何？过去的就让它过去吧……”
“你是什么意思，人们伤害了中国人的感情？得了吧，你们是一个大国受得起的！”
“你说中国人恨日本人，但是我去台湾的时候，每个台湾人都爱日本的一切。他们爱日本的饭菜、音乐、他们的电视节目。事实上，我遇到的台湾人喜欢日本远超过他们喜欢中国。”

-------------译者：古柯-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

"Why can't Chinese own guns? In the US everyone owns guns and there are no problems."
"What China and the US fought in the Korean war? Think about it maybe my grandfather shot your grandfather. Hey but we're friends now right?"
"Whenever I have Chinese food I love to pour soy sauce on my rice. You want some?"
"Why did the Chinese invent everything but never do anything with it? What were you guys screwing around with?"
"You know I look at Chinese in the US and they look so much happier in the US than in China. Makes me feel good as an American."

“为什么中国人不能有枪？在美国，每个人都可以有枪，没有任何问题。”
“中国和美国曾经打过朝鲜战争？这么想也许我的爷爷开枪打了你的爷爷。嘿，但是我们现在是朋友了，不是么？”
“每当我吃中国菜，我喜欢在我的米饭撒上酱油、你要来点么？”
“为什么中国人发明了一切，但是从来不使用它们？你们这些家伙在搞什么鬼？”
“你知道么，我在美国看见了中国人，他们在美国比在中国幸福得多。这让我觉得当一个美国人真好。”

-------------译者：dantepushkin-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Corbett Wall Figuring out equanimity
Written Aug 16 2012 R26; Upvoted by Paul Denlinger
- Tell them they are a waidiren (outsider) if they remind you that you are laowai (foreigner). 

当他们说你是老外的时候，告诉他们，他们才是外地人

- Ask a Chinese guy why Chinese girls like foreigners.

问中国男人为什么中国女人喜欢外国人。

- When asked how much you make say probably more than you.

当被问到自己挣多少钱的时候，告诉他们应该比你多。

- When asked how long you've been in China ask if being in Taiwan counts.

当被问到在中国待了多久的时候问在台湾算不算。

- When someone mocks your Chinese in a dumb accent do the same to their English.

当有人用奇怪的口音耻笑你的中文时对他们的英文做同样的事。

- When drinking with a bunch of government people say that you really liked Cui Jian's songs.

当跟一群政府人员喝酒的时候告诉他们你很喜欢崔健的歌。

-------------译者：dantepushkin-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

- When discussing any Chinese history ask didn't all Chinese came from Korea.

当讨论中国历史时问中国人是不是来自韩国。

- Discuss Tibet intelligently.

有智慧地讨论西藏。

- When eating with southerners only order noodles.

当跟南方人吃饭时只点面食。

- When eating with northerners only order rice.

当跟北方人吃饭时只点米饭。

- When in Beijing talk about how Shanghai has so much more culture.

在北京人面前谈论上海要比北京有文化多了。

- Ask someone why all Chinese look the same.

问他们为什么中国人都长一个样。

-------------译者：古柯-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Peter Leykam Anthropologist Nerd Adventurer...
Written Nov 22 2011
Crossing the street while they're trying to drive through the intersection.
Stopping in the crosswalk when they honk at you to point out that the light is green for you and that you as a pedestrian have the right of way.
Doing an impersonation of Dustin Hoffman's "Can't you see I'm walking here?" scene from Midnight Cowboy when cab drivers try to run you over.  Either Beijing cab drivers aren't fans of the movie or don't find my Hoffman impersonation very convincing.

在他们要开车通过十字路口时穿过马路。
在他们对你按喇叭提醒你现在是绿灯你作为行人可以过马路时停在人行横道上不走。
当出租车试图撞你的时候，模仿一下《午夜牛郎》中达斯汀霍夫曼的动作“难道你看不到我走在这儿么？”除非北京的出租车司机不是这部电影的影迷，否则就会发现我模仿的霍夫曼还是很像的。

-------------译者：古柯-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

When confronted by a minor bureaucrat repeatedly ask them to explain the logic underlying the rules they're trying to enforce.  Spend as long as possible saying things like "But how is that the most efficient way to do things?"
Insisting on speaking Chinese to people who are trying to practice their English with you.  If they persist politely explain that since your Chinese is better you should continue in Chinese.  This works especially well if it isn't true.
If your Chinese boss is wrong about anything correct him as loudly as possible in front of as many coworkers as possible.
Asking them not to answer their phones during a business meeting.  When they ignore you and answer their phones stop your presentation and criticize them in front of everybody for disobeying your rules.
Tell them that Chinese culture isn't nearly as complex interesting or unique as they think it is. (This works with Americans too).

当面对一个小官员试图执行法规时，不断要求他们解释他们正在使用的规定的逻辑，花尽可能长的时间这么说“但这是最有效的做法？”
坚持对那些试图跟你练习英语的人说中文。如果他们继续，那就礼貌的解释，因为你的中文更好，你应该继续说中文。这样做特别有效，即使不是真的。
如果你的中国老板在一些事情上出错了，尽可能大声的在尽可能多的员工面前纠正他。
要求他们不要在商务会议中接电话，当他们不理你继续打电话，就停下你正在说的话，当着所有人的面批评他们违反你的纪律。
告诉他们中国文化不像他们想的那样复杂有趣而且独特。（这对美国人也有效）

-------------译者：dantepushkin-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Ajay Ohri Homo Sapien
Written Jul 26 2012
ask them why the Government  bans Facebook

问他们为什么他们的政府禁了脸书

smile at them and wish them good morning if you dont know them well

笑着跟不熟悉的中国人说早安

ask them if it is really true most of them will never have a brother or sister

问他们是不是大部分都没有兄弟姐妹。

ask them to repeat what they said in English. repeat 3 times.

让他们用英文重复他们说过的话。重复三次。

praise american girls in front of them. wow she is so beautiful

在他们面前赞美美国女孩。哇她可真漂亮

ask about Tibet Pakistan Taiwan American domination . They are quite patriotic !

询问他们有关巴基斯坦，西藏，美国主宰的问题。他们都挺爱国的！

WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

你说啥？你说啥？你说啥？

-------------译者：dantepushkin-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Chin Yeh I'm interested in social science.
upxed May 11 2016
Show a Kungfu move

露一手功夫动作

Compliment on their math skills without knowing their background. They could be novelists artists singer/song-writers ...

在不知道他们背景的情况下赞扬他们的数学能力。他们可能是小说家，艺人，歌手／作词人，。。。

Ask them how to cook

跟他们请教怎么煮菜

Ask them how to tailor

跟他们请教怎么剪裁

Greet them with nihao

用“你好”跟他们打招呼

Ask them how they can be annoyed

问他们怎样才可以烦扰到他们

Anything that annoys a non-Chinese will also likely annoy a Chinese...

所有可以烦扰到非华裔的东西基本上都可以烦扰到一个华裔的人。。。

... Perhaps I need emphasize that a true blue Chinese never greets his/her fellow folks with a nihao while a down-to-earth 'have you eaten?' would do.

。。。或许我该强调一个根正苗红的中国人不会用“你好”来跟自己的伙伴打招呼，一般会用接地气的“吃了吗”。

-------------译者：dantepushkin-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Steven Williams Oceanic Systems Engineer at Fugro
Written Nov 28
Before I moved to China I was dating a British girl with Chinese heritage. Here mother is from Hong Kong her dad from the Canton region.

当我搬去中国之前，我跟一个华裔的英国女孩约会。她妈妈来自香港而爸爸来自广东地区。

I have been learning Mandarin for a while. She is fluent in Cantonese and speaks basic Mandarin.

我已经学了一阵子的普通话。她会流利的粤话和基本的普通话。

She often suggested that we speak Mandarin from time to time to practice. On one occasion I said “I don't know I think I need to practice with a real Chinese person.”

她经常提议我们偶尔用普通话来训练交谈。有一次我跟她说 “我不晓得，我觉得我需要跟一个真正的中国人练习中文”

She didn't like that.

她不喜欢我这样说。