环球时报：婚姻市场老外风光不再？ [美国媒体]

Laowai lose appeal in marriage market?

婚姻市场老外风光不再？

作者：张馨元
来源：环球时报英文版



One month ago, my friend Peter asked me to go to lunch with him because he was just dumped by a local Chinese girl, and he wanted to talk and unload some of his bitterness and pain.

一个月前，我的朋友彼得邀我共进午餐，因为他被一个本地中国女孩甩了。他想和我诉苦来减轻痛苦。

My friend is a 40-year-old man from the US who has been working in China as an English teacher at an international school for 12 years.

彼得是美国人，今年40岁，是一所国际学校12年教龄的英语老师。

It's not the first time he has been dumped by a Chinese girlfriend. His tragic ten-year dating experience in China has made him lose faith in romance and the idea that he will find someone who is going to settle down with him.

这不是他第一次被甩。十年间不断地情场失利使他对爱情失去信心，现在的他已经对脱单无望。

"I think most of the girls I meet plan to stay with me for a while just to have a good time, and when they decide to settle down, they go for a local Chinese man," Peter said.

“我想，和我在一起的女孩大多数都只是玩玩，当她们觉得需要安定下来时，就找老实人接盘了”彼得对我说。

We have all heard of the urban legend that foreign men enjoy certain advantages in China's dating market.

这篇文章的读者一定都听过：中国约会（pao）市场中，老外有优先权。

However, as more Chinese people are exposed and getting more used to foreign cultures and people, advantages foreigners enjoy in the dating market start to disappear.

三十年河东三十年河西，随着中国人对异域人文日益熟悉，老外对于约会市场的优势正在不断削减。

Two years ago, Peter met a girl from Shenzhen in Guangdong Province he really liked, they were together for two years, and then they decided to take the relationship to the next level and prepared to get married.

两年前，彼得有一个他真心喜欢的深圳女孩，已经在一起两年，当时他们决定关系更进一步并准备结婚。

Peter met his potential mother-in-law, and then the mother-in-law did what almost every mother-in-law in China would do. She asked if Peter had an apartment and a car in Beijing or if he has intention or means to buy them.

彼得跟他的未来丈母娘见了次面，然后这个准丈母娘做了绝大多数中国丈母娘会做的：他质问彼得是否有房有车或未来有购买它们的意愿。

When the answer was not satisfactory for the mother-in-law, the woman left gloomily, and forced her daughter to end the relationship in the following months.

对彼得的应答不满的准丈母娘阴沉着脸离开，在之后的数月里，她强令女儿结束这段姻缘。

Peter's earnings in Beijing provide him a very comfortable and quality life, which includes an 80-square-meter rental apartment in the downtown area, several trips around the world a year and dining at every new restaurant in the city, but apparently, that is not enough to convince the Chinese mother-in-laws.

彼得在北京的收入让他拥有非常舒适的高质量生活：位于市中心的80平米的出租公寓，一年数次的旅行，在每一个新开的餐馆中食用晚餐。但是很显然，这还不足以说服这位中国式丈母娘。

Most Chinese parents want stability for their children, and having a house, car and a stable job ensures that stability. But most foreigners do not believe that these things are necessary to prove stability, which means they are less attractive in the marriage market.

绝大多数中国父母只想要孩子过安稳的生活：有套房、有辆车以及一份确保稳定生活的固定工作。但大多数老外不觉得上面的那些是必需的，这让老外在婚姻市场中缺乏吸引力。

When I was single and mentioned trying to find a foreigner as a boyfriend, my mother immediately vetoed my idea. She said that foreigners don't have good connections in China, so their career development in China is limited. After all, in China, sometimes people's success relies on their guanxi (social connections).

在我还没结婚时，我曾向家人提及想找个外国人当男朋友，我妈立即否决了我的想法。她认为老外在中国没有前途，因为他们没有良好guanxi。毕竟这是在中国，有时想成功必须靠“关系”。

Also, local Chinese have developed an understanding that foreigners who choose to come to China are at the lower end of the society in their home countries.

同时，中国人也逐渐认识到，选择来中国的这些外国人在他们本国处于社会底层。

So, as Chinese people's understanding of the outside world has opened up, they are now removing foreigners from the pedestals they once held them on.

因此，伴随着中国的日益开放，过去中国人对外国人的印象正在迅速改变。

Therefore, foreigners are becoming less successful in the dating market.

最终的结果是老外在约会市场的频频失利。


vmc1918 24  3小时前 
Also, local Chinese have developed an understanding that foreigners who choose to come to China are at the lower end of the society in their home countries. 
Good old Chinese style soft racism

“同时，中国人也逐渐认识到，选择来中国的这些外国人在他们本国处于社会底层。”
说得好，老套的中国软性种族歧视。

[–]Shoeboy78United Kingdom 22  3小时前 
The best bit is they don't understand they're talking down China there.

最好的一点是，他们不知道这是在贬低中国。

[–]all_usernames_taken3 9  2小时前* 
As a racist ""asian masulinist"" once told me on reddit : "trash attracts trash"
lmbo

作为一个种族主义者，在论坛上有“亚洲大男子主义者”告诉我：“物以类聚”。真是笑掉我的大牙。

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 3  2小时前 
What do you mean? China is very kind to allow such foreigners.

你想表达什么？中国对于外国人很友善。

[–]borrow_an_arrow 5  2小时前 
Not that it isn't true

不，这不是真的。

[–]EtienneraCanada 4  1小时前 
I want to share the downvotes with you because I agree. Racism is not a thing here. This is a sharp sociopolitical observation.

实名反对楼上的种族歧视论。在这篇文章中，种族歧视根本不是个事。这是一篇目光敏锐的社会政治观察报告。

[–]all_usernames_taken3 2  3小时前 
Also, local Chinese have developed an understanding that foreigners who choose to come to China are at the lower end of the society in their home countries. 
Xenophobia in that case, hate against foreigners

“同时，中国人也逐渐认识到，选择来中国的这些外国人在他们本国处于社会底层。”
仇外文

[–]hughcullen 3  2小时前 
Racism has now also come to mean displaying prejudice towards other nationalities, as well as prejudice against other races, and it is perfectly fine to use the term in this regard.

现在其他国家，种族歧视也包含了对其他民/种族的偏见，就这点而言，种族歧视完全适用。

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 1  1小时前* 
"But prejudice against foreigners is totally different than prejudice against other races," says the ethnic nationalist.
Riiiight. Tell me that isn't fucking racist. It's racist.
/I'm of Irish decent, and my wife is Chinese
//We won

“对外国人的偏见与对其他种族的偏见完全不同，”民族主义者表示。
对极了。告诉我这不是tmd种族歧视。这是种族主义。
/我是爱尔兰老实人，我老婆是中国人
/ /是我们赢了

[–]hughcullen 1  1小时前 
Who are you quoting and what is your point?

你引用谁的话，你是什么观点?

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 2  1小时前 
Someone who would say that prejudice towards and stereotyping of foreigners isn't racism.
The point is that it's racism.
Edited for clarity.

或许有人会说，对外国人的偏见和刻板印象不是种族主义。
但问题在于，这就是种族主义。

[–]hughcullen 1  1小时前 
So why are you saying it to me, when it was I who made the exact same point?

你对我说这个干嘛？当时我做了一样的事吗？

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 1  1小时前 
I'm agreeing with you?
That can happen, even on Reddit.

我同意吗?
就算是Reddit，这也有可能发生。

[–]hughcullen 1  57 分钟前 
Ahh, ok, haha.

呵呵

[–]derrickcopeUnited States 1  52 分钟前 
As well a gross generalization. This is how things were in the dynastic period. It was a punishment to have to leave China. Anyone who has had to leave their home country must be unable to succeed at home.
So what does that make those Chinese students studying in the US...

只是一个粗略的概括。中国古代皇朝时代就是这个情况：背井离乡是一种惩罚。任何不得不离开祖国的人必定都没有能耐在国内取得成功。
那么，那些在美国学习的中国学生原因是什么?

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 1  18 分钟前 
This is how things were in the dynastic period. It was a punishment to have to leave China.
Some were even sent to the End of the Earth, in Sanya. Because that was literally the edge of the guo.
/that says something about the nine-dash-line, thinking about it

顶楼上。有些人甚至被流放到了天涯（在三亚）。字面意义，天下的尽头。这些事情也涉及到了九段线，想想吧。

[–]choaniki 1  3 分钟前 
Sometimes the truth hurts...

有时候，实话伤人心。。。。

[–]PolypinoonEuropean Union 13  3小时前 
Lol, lots of frustrated single virgins in the GT offices it would seem.

LOL，在游戏理论家（宅男）的办公室里有很多沮丧的单身处女。

[–]HotNaturedUnited States 7  2小时前 
"Mom of course he can't afford an apartment or a car. He's doing Mao's good work, though. Please give him a chance."。

“妈妈，他当然负担不起车和房”不过，他在做“毛”的那份好工作。请给他一个机会。

[–]dazzazhonggua 1  48 分钟前 
I'm sure there are no happy people in that office.

我确定那个办公室的人不快乐。

[–]GouLeBa 6  2小时前* 
Note to Peter: Lose the hoodie.... you're over 40 now, it's not doing you any favors. And while you're at it, stop dressing in clothes covered in soot, they make you look like a coal miner. And get a haircut! And OMFG, you've been in China 12 years and you're still an English teacher? Better luck next time...
EDIT: I keep changing this because as I read I am more and more appalled. Peter, you're in an 80 sq. m. apartment! Wake up, this is not Hong Kong or Tokyo! On the bright side: at least you have done something to warrant mention in the newspaper.

写给彼得：脱下你的连帽衫。。。。你40而立了，这对你没有好处。还有在你脱掉帽子的同时，不要再穿脏兮兮的衣服了，这让你看起来像个矿工，顺便剪个头发。你呆在中国12年还只是个英语老师？祝你下次好运、、、、
编辑：我一直在修改文章，因为我越读越震惊。彼得，你住在80平米的套房，醒醒吧你，这不是在香港或东京！好的一面：至少你做了这件值得上报的事。

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 1  1小时前 
And OMFG, you've been in China 12 years and you're still an English teacher?
I'm not quite sure what the career progression path for an English teacher in China would be, actually.

你呆在中国12年还只是个英语老师？
我不太确定中国的英语外教的职业前途如何。

[–]mrgoodkat1707European Union 2  1 分前 
I'm not quite sure what the career progression path for an English teacher in China would be, actually.
Isn't that obvious?
English Teacher Tim - Vlogger - Old China Hand

回楼上。
这不是显而易见的吗？
英语老师Tim-视频博主-中国通 

[–]itadaki_manko 1  41 分前 
There is a lot of progression if you have an ounce of sense. Its one of the cheapest countries to get internationally certified degrees (ba, ma, phd) in education, and same for niche branches like CELTA and AMS/MSI Montessori. And im talking classes in english where they will literally pay you and house you to be a student (or a plethora of companies willing to sponsor you). I speak from experience. I actually came to china because of the upward momentum you can achieve in china, which is translatable anywhere in the world. With enough exp and a little elbow work in chinese language (or a girlfriend who can help on the translation side of things), you can at the very least make stupid ammounts of money opening up an english training monkey school.
And if you hate teaching, you literally have a world at your fingertips here to change paths.
I dont have any beef against other foreigners who come here to teach, or settle down into a low effort comfortable life, but what would you expect dating a girl with traditional family values if you have no desire to meet them?

有点智商吧。这个国家拥有全世界最便宜的国际认证学位（学士、硕士、博士）教育，还有一些小众的教育机构：CELTA（剑桥成人英语教学证书）、AMS/MSI Montessori（美国蒙台梭利协会）。我在上课时全程讲英语，然后他们就爽快的付钱了，这让我装孙子也愿意啊！（很多公司也会乐意给你钱）。我说的都是肺腑之言。实际上我来中国只是出于在中国努力向上爬就能出人头地的愿景，这在全世界都通用。在你有足够经验或对中文小有心得之后（或找个中国女朋友），你起码能开一所英语培训学校赚那些蠢猴子的钱。
我不想给来教英语的或低劳而获的老外们泼冷水，可是你对那些你不想约的传统女孩还有什么期望吗？

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 0  33 分前* 
Its one of the cheapest countries to get internationally certified degrees (ba, ma, phd) in education, and same for niche branches like CELTA and AMS/MSI Montessori.
And... then what?
With enough exp and a little elbow work in chinese language (or a girlfriend who can help on the translation side of things), you can at the very least make stupid ammounts of money opening up an english training monkey school.
Well, OK, you could go into business for yourself. But, I've heard horror stories... Doing any kind of business in China is a risk. It's just so cut-throat. Even riskier as a foreigner. My wife pretty much forbid me from even thinking about it.
That was her condition of security, actually. "You will work for someone else, and get a steady paycheck." ... Her dad was a businessman. His "business meetings" led to their parent's divorce. She's like, "Even if you become rich and successful, then what? You'll just get a girlfriend." Because, you know, that's what Chinese guys do.
She wanted none of it.
And if you hate teaching, you literally have a world at your fingertips here to change paths.
Homer's brain: Explain how.
I dont have any beef against other foreigners who come here to teach, or settle down into a low effort comfortable life, but what would you expect dating a girl with traditional family values if you have no desire to meet them?
It was the traditional family that was opposed, not the girl. The girl just caved, is all. Dude should try to find a girl whose family isn't stuck in the past.

回楼上。
OK，你可以自己做生意去。但对于这个，我听过不好的传闻。。。。
在中国做什么生意都有风险。经商环境严酷。对老外也不例外。我老婆严令禁止我做生意还让我想都别想。
“给人打工拿固定薪水”是她自身所处的安全状况。。她父亲过去是一个商人，一场“商务会谈”促使他们离婚。她认为：“就算你有钱又有事业，那又怎样？还是要相个女朋友”你懂得，这就是中国男人的做法。
她对此一点都不想要。
下面给楼上。
还有，如果你厌恶教学，你要用自己的双手改变。
智者之慧：如何做。
“我不想给来教英语的或低劳而获的老外们泼冷水，可是你对那些你不想约的传统女孩还有什么期望吗？”
反对的是传统家族价值观不是传统女孩。女孩仅仅是屈服于家族压力。兄弟，你该找个脱离了中国传统观念的女孩及她的家族。

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 5  3 小时前* 
Keep fucking that chicken, Global Times.
Edit: Wow, this thread is already dildos.

环球时报，接着草那只鸡吧！
编辑：哇，这条线一样的JJ是义根。

[–]ninclud 2  1 小时前 
They are so jealous of Laowais! Most Chinese girls find foreigners more attractive than Chinese men. Chinese men should marry their right hands! Fapfapfap

中国人嫉妒老外！多数中国女孩发现鬼佬更有魅力。中国佬只配和右手结婚！撸阿撸。

[–]derrickcopeUnited States 2  53 分前 
Laowais now second place in marriage market, Love relegated to distant third...

老外在婚姻市场中居于胯下，爱情居于第三。。。。

[–]takeitchillish 2  2 小时前* 
This Peter must be a real fucking loser. What the fuck, all the Chinese girls I have been with start talking about mixed-race children and marriage after a week together. What am I doing wrong? I also want to find these girls who do not want to consider marriage with me lol. However, this article is racist xenophobic nonsense. That thing about foreigners in China are the losers back home. That is only valid when we talking about a huge percentage of the English teachers. Expats and so forth are definitely not losers back home. And I cannot see that foreigners in China have a harder time to get girls and getting married. The author of this article is probably a butthurt nationalistic ugly little fellow, getting angry when seeing a white beta male with a Chinese girl holding hands in Sanlitun. Must be hard seeing interracial couples.

彼得，男，真卢瑟是也。所有和我聊过一周时间的中国女孩都会和我讨论混血儿和婚姻，搞什么鬼？是我做错什么了么？我也不想是个女人就和我谈婚论嫁好不好？这就是一篇荒谬的种族歧视仇外文：在中国的老外都是该各回各家的屌丝（只是对于一部分英语外教而言）。已经移民的人才不是失败者。我从没见过老外需要比中国人花更多时间来把妹直到婚姻的殿堂。我猜本文作者是个被踢屁股的丑陋的民族主义小鬼，见不得白人男性和中国女人好上。说不定这辈子都没见过跨种情侣。

[–]upperwater 11  2 小时前 
Found the guy that's a loser back home!

发现走失屌丝一枚，跟蜀黍回家！

[–]LeYanYanFrance 3  2 小时前 
There's a huge gap between the girl talking about wedding and the one who actually commit. Until contract is signed words have no value.

一个巨大的裂痕出现在婚姻与真心之间。在婚约签署之前，甜言蜜语不值钱。

[–]bigbagofdumb 2  1 小时前 
Wait, women can lie too?

等等，女人也会说谎？

[–]Graham_Whellington 1  1 小时前 
It actually is kind of true. China excels at nothing, and the fields they are doing well in they don't have foreigners that will be promoted over a Chinese national. If you are at the top of your profession you aren't in China. That doesn't mean there aren't successful foreigners in China. It just means China is not where you go to become the best. Unless you are trying to be the best at Chinese literature or something.

相当准确。中国在任何方面都没有优势，他们只能在没有老外的领域内发挥本领，优秀的老外会收到加入中国国籍的橄榄枝。如果你在国外是顶尖人才，这不意味着你在中国就不是成功的老外，只能说明中国不是你能做到最好的地方。除非你在中国文学或其他方面下了苦功。

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 0  1 小时前* 
That thing about foreigners in China are the losers back home. That is only valid when we talking about a huge percentage of the English teachers.
Not even.
Wife took a job as a bartender when she moved to the States.
Her: "Wow, everyone working there is on drugs all the time, or dealing drugs. And all the girls have kids from random guys."
Me: "Yep. That's normal. Those are normal people, working at a restaurant."
An alcoholic English teacher is not the worst that we have to offer.

“在中国的老外都是该各回各家的屌丝（只是对于一部分英语外教而言）。”
绝对不止。
我妻子在移居美国后找了份酒吧招待的功。
她：“哇，那里工作的美国人不是在吸毒就是在进行毒品交易，所有小孩都源自滥交”
我：“正常。那些餐馆工作人员都是一般人”
一个酗酒的英语老师不是我们所提供的最坏产品。

[–]Crusader_1096 0  27 分前 
I also want to find these girls who do not want to consider marriage with me lol.
Part of me really wishes this article was true. I want to have zero value on the marriage market so long as I maintain some value in the dating scene.

“我也不想是个女人就和我谈婚论嫁好不好？”
好笑
我部分希望这不是真的。
我不想在婚姻市场中有价值，我只要在约会时有价值就好。

[–]iwazaruu 4  2 小时前 
12 years in China and still renting and doesn't have a car, doesn't want to settle down. The problem is with Peter.

在中国12年了却还在租房还没车，不想安定。有问题的是你，彼得。

[–]all_usernames_taken3 8  2 小时前 
Honestly even if I had lots of cash sitting around, I wouldn't buy property in China... The prices are inflated, the appartments usually waer down quick and the government is increasingly hostile to foreigners, who knows in which way you would get fucked
Most disputable is the car, it depends on the city

老实说，即使我有很多钱，我也不会在中国买房……通货膨胀，房子迅速贬值。政府对老外日益敌视。最具争议性的依然是汽车，不过这要看城市。

[–]iwazaruu 0  2 小时前* 
Well, and that's the thing though.
Peter's been here 12 years and, going by what the author wrote, still oblivious that if you don't have property and a car then you're a child that doesn't want to settle down. But not oblivious, just unwilling to man up and settle down.

据作者说彼得来了12年，却一直没有认识到如果一个年逾不惑的老外没房没车的话，那么你就是一个不安定的小孩。说不定并不是没有意识到，只是拿不出男子气概。

Yeah, apartment quality is not as good as in the west. And, surprisingly, there are many Chinese who don't want to move to the west...and if you're dating one, and 40 years old, and have been here for 12 years and still don't have property...
Can't say I blame globaltimes on this one. Be honest with your girl, make a plan for the future,etc.

在西方，房子质量并不是什么大问题。出人意料的是，很多中国人并不想移民到西方。。。来华12载，年逾40，没有房子，还想约会！
不能说我因此怪罪于《环球时报》 ，对那个女孩诚实点，好好把握未来。

12 years in China and nothing to show for it, jesus...I dunno.
Edit: yeah this just an editorial...and yeah it isn't written nicely...but it's the truth. Women need a car and a house (apartment). Eveything else is game on. Peter's been dicking around for 12 years and doesn't have his shit together, what do you expect?
EDit 2: most foreigners here get out before 5 years...this dude's been here 12 years and still fucking around and not willing to settle down...hell yeah anyone with a lick of common sense would drop his ass...

12年了什么都没有，耶稣啊。。。。翻白眼。
PS：只是重编辑。。。话说的不好听但却是真相。女人就是要房子要车子，怎么着？！
一切就位。
彼得花了12年时间花天酒地，现在一无屎有。你到底想要干什么?
PS2：PS2：大多数老外浪到五年前就离开了。。。此屌浪了12年居然还不想安定下来？？？？？去死吧！任何一个稍有常识的人都会踢爆你的屁股的。。。。

[–]all_usernames_taken3 6  1 小时前 
But thb our dear peter has a nice flat and can afford a nice lifestyle
Meanwhile it sounds like the traditionnal preference would be Zhang with a mortgage on a multi million shoebox appartment super far from the city center, in debt for 20 years with a car.
I'm not even sure what's best

彼得拥有好房子和好生活。
同时这听起来就是传统的偏好，就像一个姓张的人为了一套远离市区的鞋盒子公寓而办理抵押贷款，负债20年就为了一辆车。
我不知道什么最好。

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 2  52 分前* 
Women need a car and a house (apartment).
I have to ask "why?"
I wouldn't own a car in any city larger than Tier 88. What good is it?
As for needing a house, well, she needs a place to live, sure. You need to be financially secure enough to pay your rent, obviously. Just like anywhere else in the world.

我必须要问“为什么”
我不想在任何一座超过88级的城市里买车，那有什么好的？至于需要房子，好吧，她确实需要住的地方，很明显你需要一定的财务保障来支付房租。就像世界上的任何一个地方一样。

But should even that be all on him?
Sometimes? Women even work to help pay the bills! This isn't the 1950s.
I mean, sure, the whole house and car thing in China is about showing financial security... to the parents of the bride. It's a bride-price (1850s, now?).
But those things are usually bought by the parents of the groom, anyway. Because they expect to move in someday.
Should laowai be expected to pay for things that Chinese grooms cannot afford on their own?
...
None of this makes sense. It's senseless.

但应该把所有责任都推给他吗？
女人有时也要工作来支付账单的!已经不是50年代了。
我的意思是说，的确，在中国房子车子是用来展示财产保障的。。。向岳父母。聘礼（1850年代，现在？）
聘礼（房子）通常由男方父母承担。他们会在婚后住进去。

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 1  38 分前 
EDit 2: most foreigners here get out before 5 years...this dude's been here 12 years and still fucking around and not willing to settle down
He wanted to settle down. That was the point.
But this is an interesting argument. I guess the idea is that, after 5 years or so, he should have left, or, I dunno, stopped acting like a foreigner?
... This is probably why most foreigners get out before 5 years. China doesn't leave much room for doing things differently.

“PS2：大多数老外浪到五年前就离开了。。。此屌浪了12年居然还不想安定下来？”
他想安定下来，这是重点。
这个争论很有趣。我有个猜想：大概5年后，他就该滚了，或许他会融入中国？不知道。
。。。。这可能就是为什么大多数外国人在5年前就离开中国了。中国没有多少空间来做不同的事。。

[–]all_usernames_taken3 1  2 小时前 
Actually I sort of agree with you, you should have something at 40+ yo or you look like an old baby

我赞成你们的观点，你是该在这个年纪拥有什么了，或者你就是个老顽童。

[–]derrickcopeUnited States 2  43 分前 
I've been in China 20yrs. I don't own a car or an apartment. Why would I waste my money on that? I own a condo on the beach in the US though. It was about 1/3 of what I would pay for a piece of crap in China. Plus in the US it is my property, not leased from the government.

我来中国20年了。没房没车。为什么要我浪费钱在那上面？我在美国有一栋分户出租的公寓。买它的前只要垃圾中国的三分之一。还有，在美国，这是我的财产，而不是从政府那租的。

[–]all_usernames_taken3 2  2 小时前 
B I T T E R
W U M A O
L O S E R S

五
毛
卢
瑟
气
死
了

[–]Afandur[S] 1  1 小时前 
Peter just shot themselves in the foot.
I don't know how much the rest of you know about Chinese culture (I'm an expert), but honor and shame are huge parts of it. It's not like Japan where you can become successful by being an asshole. If you screw someone over in China, you bring shame to yourself, and the only way to get rid of that shame is repentance.
What this means is Expats, after reading this thread, are not going to want to reply to any of Peters posts again, nor will they read anymore of his stories This is HUGE. You can laugh all you want, but Peter has alienated an entire class of foreign workers with this move.
Peter, publicly apologize and leave the country or you can kiss your future goodbye.

我不清楚你们其他人对中国文化有多少了解(我是专家)，荣誉和耻辱是中国文化的重要组成部分。不像日本，你可以成为一个成功的混蛋。但在中国，你要是骗了人会让自己蒙羞，而摆脱这种耻辱感的唯一方法就是悔改。
这意味着，在读完帖子之后，别的老外将不会再回复彼得的任何帖子，他们也不会再读他的故事了。你可以一笑置之，但彼得已经因为他的举动而让一整个阶层的外籍工作者疏远他了。

[–]nigajiganiga 1  1 小时前 
晏子使楚。楚人以晏子短，楚人为小门于大门之侧而延晏子。晏子不入，曰：“使狗国者从狗门入。今臣使楚，不当从此门入。”傧者更道从大门入。
见楚王，王曰：“齐无人耶？使子为使。”晏子对曰：“齐之临淄三百闾，张袂成阴, 挥汗成雨，比肩继踵而在，何为无人？”王曰：“然则何为使子？”晏子对曰：“齐命使各有所主，其贤者使使贤主，不肖者使使不肖主，婴最不肖，故宜使楚矣。”

[–]hostilewesternforcesUnited States 1  1 小时前 
Most Chinese parents want stability for their children, and having a house, car and a stable job ensures that stability. But most foreigners do not believe that these things are necessary to prove stability, which means they are less attractive in the marriage market.
Less attractive to mom.

“绝大多数中国父母只想要孩子过安稳的生活：有套房、有辆车以及一份确保稳定生活的固定工作。但大多数老外不觉得上面的那些是必需的，这让老外在婚姻市场中缺乏吸引力。”
对母亲来说缺乏吸引力

[–]itadaki_manko 1  54 分钟前 
Jesus peter, 12 years and dating girls who like their family?
Maybe his sooty hood wearing ass has hope. Doesnt peter know, "丑妻近地家中宝" ?

耶稣啊！彼得，12年来一直和顾家的女孩约会？
或许你用来包屁股的黑头巾还有希望，你知道"丑妻近地家中宝" ?

[–]derrickcopeUnited States 1  39 分钟前 
Peter's mom and dad didn't buy him a house and a car so he could get a girlfriend. Peter went abroad on his own dime and is doing what he wants to do rather than what his parents tell him to do. Good on ya Peter! And funny enough their are a whole lot of girls in China who want to date someone like him because things are straightforward and simple. No future mother telling you to get pregnant and get married, no chain smoking dad spitting and farting when he comes over. Sounds like heaven to me.

彼得的父母没给他买房子和汽车以便他找女朋友。彼得自己出国，随心所欲，而不是他父母告诉他做什么他就做什么。做得好，彼得！十分有趣的是很多中国女孩想和彼得这样行事直截了当的人约会。在中国没人会突然告诉你她怀了你的孩子要和你结婚，不会有烟鬼老爹在你探访时不停地吐痰和放屁。听起来像天堂。

[–]WhiteZhengChengGongBest Korea 1  3小时前 
Peter tried to be nice, but now it's back to sending micropeter pics on Tantan.

彼得试过变好，但现在他是时候回去发个小彼得图片到探探上面了。

[–]tru_katana_samurai22 -2  2小时前 
Peter is an idiot who knows nothing about Asian culture. When you date an Asian girl, you need to understand her culture. When an ASian girl wants to get married, she wants to settle. Stupid idiot white trash like Peter are too stupid and don't deserve an ASain girl and deserve to be stuck with white trash girls.

彼得你就是个对亚洲文化一无所知的蠢蛋。当你和一个亚洲女孩约会时，你需要了解他们的文化。她们要结婚时就会选择安定下来。蠢蛋白人垃圾就像彼得这样，你是这么的蠢，你配不上亚洲女孩你应该和那些跟你一样白人垃圾女纠缠。