quora：今天你讲了什么笑话？ [美国媒体]

Which funny joke did you crack today？

今天你讲了什么笑话？




Adebanjo Olayemi
Adebanjo Olayemi
Answered May 11
Here
Boy drops girl at home, he puts his hand on the wall by the
gate for support, leans towards her.
BOY : Can I kiss you?
GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.
BOY : Please.
GIRL: No.
BOY : You were too sweet in bed today.
GIRL: Woooow! You too, full of energy. I could not believe we
had four rounds.
BOY : Let me kiss you good night.
GIRL: Someone may be watching, they still think I'm a virgin at
home.
(This goes on for ten minutes)
Then the girl's brother appears
at the gate and says "Dad says whether you kiss him or not, its
your decision, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from
the intercom button, everyone at home is listening to your conversation. Lol

男孩把女孩在家放下，他把手支在墙上，身体凑近她。
男孩:我能吻你吗?
女孩:现在不行，我在家里呢。
男孩:求你了。
女孩:不要。
男孩:今天床上的你太美了。
女孩:Woooow !你也是，精力充沛。四发，你敢信？
男孩:让我吻给你个好觉。
女孩:说不定有人在看，他们还以为我是处女
(不可描述的10分钟)
十分钟后，她的哥哥现身在门口说“爸爸说不管你吻他还是不吻他，你自己决定。但要告诉那个混蛋把他的手从对讲机按钮上拿走，家里的每个人都听到你们的“谈话”了。”哈哈。

Deepak Karamungikar
Deepak Karamungikar, #WritingIsTheGreatestArt
Answered Wed
At the office cafeteria, there's a clerk who shows special interest in female customers and is usually rude to male ones and hardly makes conversation. Many times I saw him arguing with many customers, especially if they're men and/or colored. There are two registers, so I always avoid the one which he runs. As a general principle, I avoid interaction with rude people.
One day, I missed breakfast at home and headed to the cafeteria for a quick omelette. To my horror, he was manning the grill. I said, ‘two eggs, spinach, onions, mushrooms and some peppers’.
He wasn't paying attention, and said, ‘can you come again. I'm not as fast as I look?’
I immediately said, ‘You are deceptive’.
A group of women to whom he was trying to show off, burst out laughing.
Rogue cafeteria worker - 0, Me -1.

#Win
在办公室的自助餐厅里，有个职员对女顾客表现出特别的兴趣，但是对男顾客很粗鲁，几乎没有对话。有很多次我看到他和许多顾客争吵，特别是男人或有色人种。因为有两个寄存处，所以我总是避开他在用的那个。我的总原则是不与粗鲁的人交往。
有一天，我来不及在家里吃早餐，就想自助餐厅吃个煎蛋卷解决早餐。令我害怕的是，他正在摆弄烧烤架。我说，“要两个鸡蛋，菠菜，洋葱，蘑菇和一些辣椒。”
他心不在焉的说:“你能再说一遍吗?我没看上去的那么快?”
我立刻说:‘大骗纸’。
他身边那群他想要对其卖弄的一群女人突然大笑起来。
流氓餐厅员工：- 0，我- 1。#Win

Milica Filipovic
Milica Filipovic, TooXta.com
Answered Apr 22
An elderly married couple was celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof — the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise.
Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted.
He said, “I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me.”
So the fairy picked up her wand and poof — the husband was 90.

一对老年夫妇正在庆祝他们的结婚35周年纪念日。在聚会上，一个小精灵向他们道贺，并给他们承诺每人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。小精灵挥动魔杖——妻子手里拿着几张周游世界的票。
接着，小精灵问丈夫想要什么。
他说:“我希望我的妻子比我年轻30岁。”
于是小精灵拿起她的魔杖——丈夫是90岁。

Hope Noranbrock
Hope Noranbrock, when you get a good grade on a test.
Answered Mar 15
I popped up this website, after school because I was bored. I went to funny Funny Jokes | Comedy Central Jokes and found this Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese. I dont know if that is funny to you, but I was in a cheerful mood. When I am happy, I start to giggle sometimes at jokes or anything. I usually make funny noises also.

因为我觉得放学后无聊，就加入了这个网站。我点进去参加了好笑好笑话|喜剧中心笑话 ，找到了这个问题:
Q:你怎么称呼一个被酵母菌感染的900磅女人?
A:一块撒有起司的肥肉。我不知道你是否觉得好笑，但我当时很高兴。当我高兴的时候，我有时会在好笑的笑话或其他让我高兴的事情上傻笑。我通常在傻笑的同时发出奇怪的声音。

Pankaj Mohanpuria
Pankaj Mohanpuria, Rage guy fan!
Answered Mar 3
I recently joined my new job where most of the people have a habit of coming late. But I usually go much earlier than others. So, when I got to talking to one of my colleague, he asked me how come you are always on time and that waking up is the hardest thing for them in the morning to which I without even thinking said, waking up in the morning is the second hardest thing for me in the morning!
It was after 10 seconds that I realised what the hell did I just say. And then, we had a hearty laugh.

我最近开始了新工作，那里大多数人都有迟到的习惯。但我通常比其他人来得更早。所以,当我跟我的一个同事闲聊时,他问我为什么总能准时醒来,早起对他们来说是最困难的事情。我想都没想就说,早上醒来对我来说是第二难的事!
过了10秒钟，我才意识到我到底说了什么。然后，我们开怀大笑。

Nishant Kumar
Nishant Kumar, Loves humor!
Answered Feb 28
A man meets his friend who has started wearing ear rings.
He asks, “ Since when did you start wearing ear rings?”
Friend: “Ever since my wife found them in my car.”

一个男人遇见了他的朋友，发现他戴了耳环。
他问，“你什么时候开始戴耳环了?”
朋友:“自从我妻子从我的车里找到它们之后。”