Quora：有什么错误我们常犯却又不自知？ [美国媒体]

What is a common mistake people make without realizing it?

有哪些错误人们常犯而又不自知？





Nicolas Cole, Creative Writer. Founder of Digital Press. Inc Columnist.
If you listen carefully, most conversations are one-sided.
Someone asks the questions. (A)
Someone talks a lot. (B)
And when the person who talks a lot does direct the conversation back at the other person, they do not ask them questions. Instead, they say statements.

如果你擅于观察，大部分的交流都是单方面的喋喋不休。
A问了个问题。
结果B说了一大堆的话。
当B把话茬交给A时，B实际上并没有问A问题，而是说了一个陈述句。

For example:
A: “How are things going?”
B: “Honestly, really good. So much is going well for me! I just moved into a new place. I just started a new job. It’s all fantastic.”
A: “That’s great! Are you adjusting well?”
B: “Oh absolutely. By the way these tacos are great.”
A: “Yup, I love tacos.”
B: “No, they’re like really good. You know I’ve always been a fan of tacos. Tacos are the best.”
A: “I agree.”
B: “Yeah, if I could, I would always eat tacos.”
Etc.

举个例子：
A：最近过的怎么样啊哥们儿？
B：哈哈，还行。感觉最近诸事顺心。我刚刚搬家了，还找了个新工作。简直太棒了！
A：哦，恭喜恭喜。新地方还适应吗？
B：完全没问题。顺便说一句，那地方的炸玉米饼非常美味。
A：哦，我也挺喜欢炸玉米饼的。
B：不是一般好吃，是太好吃了，你知道我向来爱吃炸玉米饼，炸玉米最棒了！
A：我同意。
B：欧耶，如果可能的话，我能一天三顿吃炸玉米饼。

If you read the above, you have to listen closely to see how person A might feel, at some point in this conversation, unheard. Person B does not ask them directly, “What’s going on with you?” They just keep talking (usually about themselves) and saying things at the other person—instead of allowing them the opportunity to talk about themselves too.

如果你读了上面的谈话，设身处地的站在A的角度，就能明白A其实感觉自己在这场谈话中被忽视了。B并没有直接问A问题，比如“我过的很好，你呢？”。他们只是不停的朝着对方说着话（大部分都是关于自己的事情）。结果让A失去了谈论一下自己的机会。

This is one of the most common mistakes I have witnessed in human interactions, period.

这几乎是过去我看到的人们谈话中最常犯的错误。

This dynamic ruins relationships.

这种互动伤害了人们的关系。

It causes unnecessary conflict and misunderstanding.

造成了不必要的冲突与误解。

It stirs resentment.

也挑起了人们之间的怨恨。

Everyone wants to be able to share themselves—and if no one ever asks, they turn bitter.
Which makes them less likely to listen to someone else and ask them questions—and then that person turns bitter, etc.

每个人都渴望被倾听----但如果没人提问，他们便会恼怒。
恼怒会让这个人抗拒倾听和提问----此时两个人都会恼怒。

It’s so simple.

就是这么简单。

When you’re with someone, ask them questions and actually listen.

如果你在和人交流，勤问问题，多听少说。

Himadri Shekhar, studied at University of Delhi
Using wrong words.

用词不当。

Few days ago I went out with my friend. With two huge burgers and a coke, we were catching up with each others life.

几天前我和一个老友出去玩，我们一边吃着两个大汉堡和可乐，一边说着我们彼此的近况。

While I was gulping down my burger, with cheese dripping from the side of my lips, my friend looked at me closely.

正当我狼吞虎咽的吃着汉堡，奶酪从我嘴唇一边掉下时，我朋友突然凑近了对我说。

“With all that food you’ve been eating, I think your eating disorder would come back.” she said, laughing.

“你吃了这么多，是不是你的进食障碍症（厌食症或者暴食症等）又犯了。”她边说边笑。

These words struck me. I knew she was joking. That’s what we had been doing for the last one hour. But the words she said, unknowingly, struck right through my ice cold heart.

这句话很打击我，我知道她只是在开玩笑。我们过去一个小时一直在相互揶揄对方。但这句话却不知不觉的让我寒心了。

Wiping the cheese from my face, I laughed. We went on discussing about other things and not for a single moment she realized that her words were still juggling in my mind.

我边擦着脸上的奶酪边附和着她笑着。我们继续谈着其他的一些话题，但她却始终没有意识到她的话一直在我心里翻腾着。

The word ‘eating disorder’ for her was something to be found in dictionaries. But for me, it was something which took away 3 months of my life.

“进食障碍”于她来说只是一个词典里的词汇而已。但对我来说，进食障碍却足足困扰了我三个月。

The importance of this word was different for both of us. Maybe that’s why she never realized this mistake.

这个词在我们两个人心中的分量迥然不同，我想这就是为什么她自始至终都没意识到自己错误的原因吧。

Unknowingly, people or sometimes we ourselves blurt out something which might seem just a ‘word’ for us. But for the person in front of us, it might be their past.

在没有意识到的情况下，人们又或者就是我们自己经常会脱口而出一些话。这些话对我们来说仅仅是一些词语罢了，于我们对面的谈话者来说，却有可能是一件心酸往事。

Words are considered to hit sharper than sword. Yes, they do.

言语锋利胜似刀剑。

People may not affect us, but words do.

人不伤人，话伤人。

Abhishek Tr, I observe like an owl
Taking things for granted.

把别人的奉献当做理所当然。

Remember that dinner which mom prepared everyday for the past 17 years and you never bothered to feel thankful about it ? Well, start living alone and you'll know what I'm talking about.

还记得那个给你做了17年的晚餐你却从未想过感谢的妈妈吗？当你离开家门自力更生时，你就明白为什么要感谢了。

Remember that person who spent the major chunk of his life, supporting his family and making sure his kids always got the best of anything ? Well, you'll never know his value until you become a dad.

还记得那个劳苦半生，只为了养家糊口，让儿子衣食无忧的男人吗？当你自己成为父亲后，你就明白父爱的伟大了。

Remember that lady who left her family just to live you with for the rest of her lifetime and is waiting for you at home to have dinner ? Well, you'll realise her value when you don't a have a shoulder to cry upon when life hits you hard.

还记得那个离开家庭，将自己的后半生托付于你，每日在家等待与你共进晚餐的女人吗？当你生活失意，独坐家中却发现无人倾诉时，你就明白妻子的珍贵了。

Remember that dude who has been with you through crazy awesome times and shitty dark times ? You'll never realise his value until you get stuck with the wrong crowd.

还记得那些与你同甘共苦，荣辱与共的好兄弟吗？当你发现身旁都是些狐朋狗友时，你就明白友情的难得了。

Most of the times in life, we take things for granted coz we know it's gonna be there whatsoever. What we don't realise is that, things ain't gonna last forever and you better be grateful about it right now.

在我们人生中的大部分时间，我们对于这些珍贵的情与人都感到理所当然，因为我们知道就算我们不在意也不会失去他们。但我们没意识到的是，天下没有不散的宴席，在我们拥有的时候，我们要时刻怀着一颗感恩的心。

This moment, go hug your mom and let her know that the last night sabji was friggin epic. Go open up to your dad and tell him how much respect you've got for him in the deepest part of your heart.

此时此刻，拥抱你的母亲，告诉她昨晚她炒的菜好吃极了。向你的父亲敞开心扉，告诉他在你的心中他始终是最伟大的男人。

If you're in a relationship, let her know you're bloody lucky to have her in your life.

如果你正在恋爱，告诉你的女朋友拥有她是自己三辈子修来的福分。

Oh yea, you don't have to thank your best friend. Just buy him dinner and he'll know something is really wrong with you right now ;)

哦对了，你没必要感谢你的好朋友，请他下一顿馆子，他就知道你脑子一定是抽风了。

Please, don't thank me.

不过别谢我，我就是一个翻译的。