中国男性进入“恋爱教育学校”学习如何与女性调情和吸引女性。在某些地区，仍有父母把自己孩子的“简历”张贴在树干和灯柱上 [美国媒体]

-------------译者：龙腾翻译总管-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------



Men in China attend "Fall in Love Education School" to learn how to flirt and learn how to attract women. In some places, parents still post resumes of their single children on trees and lampposts

中国男性进入“恋爱教育学校”学习如何与女性调情和吸引女性。在某些地区，仍有父母把自己孩子的“简历”张贴在树干和灯柱上


-------------译者：龙腾翻译总管-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

–]Thebeztredditor 
Also. The matchmaking activities in public places has been going on forever. Nothing to do with a shortage of women. This article reads like a Vice news piece. NYT should be able to find a China correspondent who lives in China and understands life there and could check these articles for accuracy.

当然，这些在公共场所举行的相亲活动会一直持续下去。这与女性人数的短缺无关。这篇文章读起来像是出自风化新闻（Vice News）。纽约时报应该能找到一个在中国生活并了解中国生活的中国记者，来检查下这些文章是否准确。

[–]15theory  
From my perspective as a Chinese student this article sums up how the dating training group is trying to help men to do basic jobs to leave good impressions but that's it. There's no in-depth discussion about how the big deals for those dates could be such as details during conversations and where the contradictions could occur mostly during a relationship in China. A relationship is not just about shirts and trousers most of the time. As a huge country that has many errors take place in the same way there could be more specific information and views.
Edit: grammar

以我一个中国学生的角度来看，这篇文章总结了约会培训小组是如何帮助男性做一些（约会）基本准备已给（对方）留下好印象，但这就是内容的全部了。关于那些约会的具体进展并没有深入的讨论，例如约会双方对话中的细节，在中国谈恋爱时最容易爆发的一些矛盾。恋爱大部分情况下不单单只是得体的着装而已。作为一个大国，以相同的模式（发展恋爱）肯定会出现许多错误，对此（这些恋爱学校）应该会有更具体的信息和意见的。

[–]himitTaiwan  
Honestly you can't really prepare in that much detail.

老实说，你不可能准备得那么详尽全面。

Say you prepare well and say all the 'right' things but none of them are true for you. You might get the girl but will you keep the relationship? Nobody can lie forever.

假设你事先准备得很到位，（约会过程中）“没说错”一句话，但那些都不是真的你。你可能会俘获女孩芳心，但你能保持住这段恋情吗？没人能一直撒谎。

Better to be honest and find somebody you can truly be happy with long-term.

最好还是诚实做自己，找到一个你能真正长期快乐相处的伴侣。

[–]KoKanseiJapan 
Fucking this. I'm all for putting your best foot forward on a date but if you're putting on a performance what is the point? Seems like a recipe for lots of resentment down the line.

去他妈的。我完全赞同你为了约会全力以赴努力做到最好，但如果你只是在表演，那这一切有什么意义呢？这简直是一个招很多人怨恨的“约会秘诀”啊。

 -------------译者：风起云团-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]JillyPollaTaiwan 
I think you're missing the point of things like this. It's not necessarily about putting on a show but rather not making mistakes that would disqualify you when you are otherwise qualified.

我觉得你搞错了这件事的关键。重要的不是装模作样伪装自己，而是注意别犯错误，否则即便你本身条件合格，但最后还是会被踹开的。

Think about it in terms of dating in America (apology if you're not American). After having a good date with a woman a man sends a text message to her. Perfectly normal right? But imagine if she was taking a shower and did not reply immediately. He sends two more after the initial text because he was impatient. Now upon leaving the shower the woman gets put off because he comes off as desperate.

试想一下美国式的约会（如果你不是美国人的话，先给你道个歉）。在与一位女性约会成功之后，男方会向女方发信息，这很正常，不是吗？但是假设，如果这时女方正在洗澡所以她没能及时回复男方。那么毫无耐心（期盼回复）的男方会在发完第一条信息后又连发了两条信息。洗完澡后的女方（在看到这几条信息后）会推迟回复，因为男方显得太过迫不及待（从而让女方兴致大减）。

But nothing fundamentally had changed between these two. Had the man resisted his urge to repeat text it would've gone well and he could've gotten a few more dates. It's not about lying but rather learning how to interact with the opposite sex in a manner that leads to not being disqualified.

但这两者（中西方约会）的本质并无不同。如果男方能够忍住不断发信息（确认女方）的冲动，他可能还会跟女方再约会几次。这与谎言无关，只需要学习如何跟异性相处交流，从而避免被女方出局。

[–]himitTaiwan 
Eh that sounds like a personal growth thing though. You need to be mature enough to a) realise why you want so desperately to send another text b) understand that it's not a rational desire and that you need to learn to deal with that feeling and c) be able to put yourself in the recipient's shoes.

呃...听起来像是每个人成长必经的事情。你需要让自己成熟到——a).明白自己为什么如此迫不及待想给对方发信息；b).清楚这并非出于理性的欲望，所以自己要学习如何处理这种情绪；c).能够站在别人的立场上思考问题。

Really that's good advice for dating because it helps you become a better person who more people want to date! Think about why you are feeling the way you are feeling think about the best way to deal with those feelings and think about how your actions will make other people feel.

真的，这是个关于约会的好建议，因为它可以帮你成为更多人都想与之约会的对象！想想为什么你会产生这些种种情感，想出最好的方法来处理这些情感，再设想下你的行为举止会让别人怎么想。

[–]grooveblissUnited States
Those are good points. How to maintain a romantic relationship actually seems like it would require a different longer course. I liken the course OP posted to a crash course that teaches people how to write a resume and dress for an interview. Just get their foot in the door so they have a chance to properly introduce themselves.

这些都说到要点了。要想保持一种浪漫的关系似乎需要一种不同且更长的（相处）。我将课程OP比喻成一种速成课，它教会人们如何写简历和挑选面试用服装。只有带他们进了门，他们才有机会进行自我介绍。

-------------译者：wccvtv-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]Rob_Dead 
But then they might end up being accused of being accurate or something.

但是到最后他们可能会被女方嫌其一言一举都像是精心安排过一样。

[–]shu_neng_sheng_qiao 
Also the people in Shanghai's people's park with the umbrellas are predominantly mother's selling finding a match for their 剩女 daughters

而且那些在上海人民公园撑伞的主要都是想要卖，不不不，是替自己的女儿（剩女）寻找适合对象的母亲。

[–]fritobuggerUnited States 
Marriage market at People's Park on the weekend is an interesting visit.

周末人民广场的相亲集市应该很有趣。

[–]shu_neng_sheng_qiao 
Also interestingly mostly women trying to marry off their daughters. Guess even with a double digit million shortage of women guys would still rather jack it to anime than put in the monumental emotional and financial strain that is maintaining a Shanghai wife.

更有趣的是，大部分女性都设法把自己的女儿嫁出去。看来即使女性比男性少了两百万，男性还是宁愿把精力和金钱投入动漫，而不愿意投入到维持与上海妻子的感情和经济上。

Protip: take pictures as if it where a tourist attraction and pretend you don't speak Chinese when people start yelling at you

技巧小贴士: 就像这里是旅游景点一样，你可以尽情拍照。当人们开始朝你大喊大叫时，假装自己不会说中文就行了。

[–]JillyPollaTaiwan 
2D > 3D

二次元比三次元好。

[–]KoKanseiJapan
Yeah but your waifu can bear no children.

是的，但你的二次元老婆可不能给你生小孩哦。

-------------译者：花开花落花满天-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]Lewey_B
well there are more women than men in Shanghai contrary to the rest of the country maybe it can be an explanation. Or it can also be the unrealistic standards Chinese girls have in big cities

是的，上海的女人比男人多，与全国其他地区相反，也许这就是为什么会出现（这种现象）的原因之一吧。也可能是大城市里的中国女孩都有很多不切实际的标准吧。

[–]grooveblissUnited States  
In 2016 there were about 33.6 million more men than women in China
That statistic if it's true makes me so sad. My heart goes out to these single men looking for love with women. The course is a great idea.

在2016年，中国的男性大约比女性多3360万人。如果这个统计数据是真的，那我会很伤心的。我的心偏向那些苦苦寻觅真命女的单身汉们。开这种课程是个好主意。

[–]mister_klikUnited States 
There was an article recently that questioned this statistic.
Apparently there are a lot of women whose births were not reported in order to avoid penalties under the One Child Policy.

最近有一篇质疑这个数据的文章发表。显然，为了避免因生二胎而受到（大笔）罚款，很多女性的出生并没有被报告。

[–]15theory 
There are actually many elders killing girls that were born(if they were not aborted in the first place) in left behind places which is truly cruel and the opposite of humanity. This is what you get from a place where (female) lives were not valued.

事实上，在落后地区，很多老年人杀害了那些才出生的女孩们（假设她们在一开始没有因被检查出而人工流掉），真的太残忍了，完全是反人性。

[–]nerbovigUnited States 
Who'd have thought that national control of reproduction would have consequences.

谁会想到国家控制计划生育会酿成这样的后果。

 -------------译者：龙腾翻译总管-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]Buck-Nasty 
Yeah they could have ended up like the paradise of India.

是的，他们最终会沦落到跟印度，这个天堂之国（一样的下场）。

[–]FileError214 
Y’all talk a lot of well-deserved shit about India but really should be thanking them. One of the few countries shittier than China.
Children shitting in the street? Indians do it too! Women treated poorly? The Indians are worse! Poor people exist? India has more of them!

你们都说了印度很多“当之无愧”的骂名，但我们真的应该感谢他们。印度可是少数几个比中国更肮脏的国家之一。孩子们在街上随地大小便？印度人也这么做！女人待遇很糟？印度女人处境更惨！存在穷人？印度穷人更多！

[–]ayywumaoGermany 
Or to quote the security officer holding a safety instruction at the foreign students introduction ceremony:
Telling us how he heard you shouldn't open your mouth in India while showering because of the germs.
Which is a weird story to tell right after he tells us you shouldn't drink tap water in Shanghai (because of the heavy metal pollution).

或者引用安全官员在外国学生介绍仪式上宣讲的安全指导中的一些话：（他告诉我们）“在印度洗澡时你不应该张开嘴巴，因为（水里）有细菌。”这是个很奇怪的故事，因为他是在告诉我们“在上海你们不能饮用自来水（因为重金属污染）”后讲的。

[–]nerbovigUnited States 
so the one child policy is the only variable?

那么独生子女政策是（导致这种现象的）唯一变量吗？

[–]Buck-Nasty 
Beats having 2 million people starve to death every year like India.

总比像印度每年会饿死200万人这种要好得多了。

-------------译者：wccvtv-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]rockyrainy  
Starvation preventable disease traffic accidents life in India is human suffering at a unbelievable scale.

饥饿，可预防染病，交通事故……印度人的生活简直是令人难以置信的痛苦。

[–]LingCHN 
No offence but Bangladesh is worse. They have the 12th highest population density in the world. India is only ranked 33rd on the list.

恕我冒犯，这些情况在孟加拉国更糟。他们的人口密度是世界第十二位，而印度仅排在第三十三位。

[–]restlys
some of these consequences are positive.
Not saying I believe it was a good idea or still is but knowing all the consequences before making a judgement call makes sense.

某些后果是积极的。但这并不是说我认为（恋爱课程）这是一个好的想法，或者说，在做出判断前了解所有可能会出现的后果是有用的。

[–]jslingrowd 
That stat is a inconvenient lazy stat. What u need to know is what is the ratio between male and females.

那个统计数据是个不便利的、偷工减料的数据。我们需要知道的是男女之间的人数比例。

[–]wzyguy 
I can tell you that number is on the lower end. There are millions of girls in the big cities who would rather stay single than date a guy she assumes of a lower status. It is frown upon for women in China to date a man who earns as much or less than her.

我可以告诉你这个数字很低。在大城市里，成千上万的女孩宁愿单身也不愿意和一个（她认为）地位较低的男人约会。中国女性不赞成与一个挣得跟她差不多甚至比她少的男人约会。

[–]supercharged0708
But some of those 33.6 million men aren't looking for women they are homosexual.

但是在这3360万男性中，有些人并没有想找女性对象，因为他们是同性恋。

[–]grooveblissUnited States 
True. I was thinking they are probably the only ones who aren't suffering any consequences of the one-child policy.

那倒是。我认为他们（同性恋者）可能是唯一不受独生子女政策影响的人。

-------------译者：龙腾翻译总管-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]Smirth 
My heart goes out to all the girls aborted and abandoned.

我的心飞向那些被流掉或遗弃掉的女孩们。

[–]nindgod 
This article is not mentioning how materialistic women in China can be often asking for salary information on the first date to size them up. But being stylish can make a huge difference props to them for actively upgrading their life.

这篇文章并没有提及中国女性有多物质现实，第一次约会女方就会询问男方的薪资水平（家庭背景）等信息以衡量评价男方。但是，（当女性）想要变得时尚时会带来巨大的改变，这会刺激她们积极提升自己的生活水平。

[–]wzyguy 
China is a face culture everything revolves around you gaining or losing face. You date or married a well off guy your status improves. You marry a poor guy you kind of bring shame to yourself & your family. In addition there isn’t any safety net in China. The family wants the daughter to marry well off so in case there is emergency they can access financial help.

中国是一个面子文化国，一切都围绕你面子的得失。如果你和一个有钱男人约会或结婚，那么相应得你的社会地位就会提高，如果你嫁给了一个穷人，那么某种程度上你就往自己和家人脸上抹黑。此外，中国没什么安全保障。家庭希望女儿高攀择偶嫁得好是为了以防万一，如果出了什么紧急情况，他们可以获得（女婿家的）经济援助。

[–]supercharged0708 
Doesn't the same go for the men? Isn't it a loss of face if she's poor or doesn't have high status?

男人不也是一样吗？如果女方很穷或者地位不高，对男方和其家人来说难道不是件丢脸的事吗？

[–]wzyguy 
Men generally marry down. Most Chinese men are still traditional in the sense they want a wife that takes care of the family instead of being career oriented.

男人通常会成家立业。大部分中国男人某种程度上仍很传统，他们想要一个照顾其家庭，而不是追求事业的事业型妻子。

-------------译者：wccvtv-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]supercharged0708 
I didn’t say the woman had to be career oriented. I said her family has high status instead of from the countryside and can’t even read.

我没有说女性必须要有自己的职业追求。我说的是她有个比较好的家庭背景，而不是来自农村（父母双方）甚至是文盲的家庭。

[–]rockyrainy 
Marring a silver digger and shouldering a over priced condo + cost of raising a kid I am surprise there isn't a /r/MGTOW movement yet.

要跟一个傍大款的人结婚，负担房价过高的公寓和孩子的供养费，我很惊讶现在都没有掀起一场MGTOW（直男拒绝结婚、拒绝生下一代）运动。
（译者注：/MGTOW = Men Going Their Own Way；主张男人自主，即男人保留对自己人生的主导和支配权，超越外在的一切。）

[–]jpp01
There's some who would certainly like to do that. But good luck convincing your parents of it. You're not likely to make all that much as a salary for the majority of your 20s. So man or woman you'll still be mostly relying on your family to support you until you can get a half decent job down the line.

肯定会有人喜欢这么做，但是祝你好运能够成功说服你的父母。在你20多岁的时候，你不太可能挣很多钱。因此，不论男女，你还是要依靠你的家人来支撑你，直到最后你能找到一份体面的工作。

[–]DrDustCellChina
Hangzhou protip: These matchmakers hang out in the Huanglong Cave Park entrance holding laminated photos of 90后 girls.

给在杭州的热心小贴士：有媒人在黄龙洞公园入口举着90后女孩的照片招对象哦。

[–]BakGikHung 
I don't understand. All the Chinese men I know or hear about seem to have no problem finding a wife having a baby then having a girlfriend finding prostitutes. Then I read articles like these.

我不明白。我认识或听说过的所有中国男人似乎都没有这样的问题。他们顺利找到老婆，生下孩子，然后再找小三，找妓女玩。结果我看到了这篇文章。

[–]Psy_Doc_ 
The guys being most affected are those living in the provinces. Poor farmers etc.

受影响最大的男人是生活在各个省份里，诸如贫困的农民等的人。

-------------译者：花开花落花满天-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

[–]grooveblissUnited States 
That's interesting. I haven't been to China yet and was wondering if it seemed like there was such a shortage of women on the ground there.

那真是有趣。虽然我还没去过中国，但我很好奇那里是否真的如此缺少女性。

[–]BakGikHung 
It absolutely does not feel like that.

（我完全）感觉不到（缺女人）。

[–]Smirth 
No shortage of hookers

不缺妓女。

[–]Offensive_Edits
This is pretty necessary imo. Most Chinese guys seem very introverted and have no game. A lot of marriages were arranged by parents in the past but this is starting to change.

在我看来，这（恋爱课程）是非常有必要的。大多数中国人都很内向，所以恋爱什么的完全没戏。过去许多婚姻都是由父母一手包办的，但现在（这种情况）已经开始改变了。

[–]rogerwilco42 
Are the Chinese men taught to keep their teeth clean and breath fresh ? To take daily showers so their body is not smelly and their hair is not full of dandruff and oil ? To clean or cut those long and dirty fingernails ? To stop carrying a man-purse ? To talk to a woman about topics other than money and video games ? To appreciate a woman that is intelligent instead of seeking women that they perceive to be in a class lower than themselves ?

中国的男人们是否学会了保持牙齿清洁和口气清新呢？保证每天洗澡，这样身体就不会有异味，头发也不会满是皮屑和油吗？定期清理或剪掉那些又长又脏的指甲吗？停止携带男式钱包？跟女人可以谈论除了金钱和电子游戏之外的话题吗?能够欣赏一个聪慧的女人，而不是一昧寻找一个比自己地位更低的女人吗?