中国什么事情最让你感到操蛋，对于去中国旅行过的人来说？【一】 [美国媒体]

People who have travelled to China, what is your "WTF China" story?

中国什么事情最让你感到操蛋，对于去中国旅行过的人来说？



I visited Shanghai, and I stumbled into the Marriage Market.
Hundreds of elderly parents with flyers with photos and resumes of their unmarried adult children milling about, trying to arrange matches. It was like seeing the floor of a busy stock exchange.

我访问过上海，然后偶然去了婚介所。
数百位年长父母用贴满自己未婚成年子女的照片和简历的传单站在那里，试着安排相亲。看起来就像是证券交易所的交易大厅一般。

I don't know how popular laowai marriages are but did they try to hook you up?

我不知道跟老外结婚有多受欢迎，但你有被勾搭过吗？

Nahh, I'm already married, and I'm descended from Teochew peasants anyway.

嗨，我已经结婚了，而且我是潮汕农民的后裔。

I wonder, could you just walk in and get hooked up as a foreigner?

我很好奇，难道你会走进（婚介所）然后就去勾搭一个老外么？

Looks up flights to Shanghai

查查飞往上海的航班。

I wish more people came with a resume. It'd make dating more efficient.

我希望更多人能带上简历来。这会让约会变得更加高效。

"What's your greatest weakness?"
"I like having sex all the time."
"Look here you little shit, I want a real weakness like chronic yeast infections."

“你最大的癖好是什么？”（译注：weakness口语中有偏好癖好的意思，但也有缺点弱点等别的意思。）
“我想整天都做爱。”
“瞧你这小样，我说的缺点是慢性真菌感染（女性性病）之类的”

It's called online dating / dating profile.

这被称为在线约会/约会信息。

Me too! In People's Park! I was rolling through and thinking, "Jobs? Missing persons?" A father and daughter from Texas asked me to take their pic by a fountain and I asked if they knew what it was and they said it was the marriage market.
I also got a hug from a random teenager near there.

没错我也是！在人民公园！我曾经困难的挤过，还在想：“在找工作？失踪人口？”德克萨斯的父女俩让我在喷泉附近给他们拍张照片的时候，我问他们这是在干嘛？他们说，这是婚介市场。
我还跟附近不知名的青少年拥抱了一下。

Did you still have your wallet after that hug

拥抱过后，你钱包还在吗？

A lot of people have asked that and yeah, nothing got taken. I had my phone out checking a map and everything. I was looking at the map on my phone and someone put a paper map in front of it. I looked up and there's this geeky teenage kid, he hugs me and then that was it. Random.

很多人都这样问。是的，在的，什么都没被偷。当时我在用手机搜索地图之类的。我正盯着手机上的地图时，有人让了一张纸质地图挡在我手机上。我看见一个按的不大不小的孩子，之后他拥抱了我，就这样随机的，没了。

Funny story happened to me. Back when I was only 28 I was working for this company, my boss was a Chinese guy from Singapore based in Shanghai. Once at a KTV party after a drink the conversation started getting a bit casual and personal. I told him I was single and he suggested I should go on that popular match making TV program to find myself a guy. I proceed saying but boss all those girls on TV are hot and makes really good money. Could you raise my salary first coz I don't wanna stand there on TV telling poeple our company doesn't pay that good. Bad advertisment you see. My boss was like, you know what? you are still young, if you are still single at 30yo, I will go to that marriage market in shanghai, I have your CV already.

有趣的故事。我在28岁的时候回到中国去公司上班，我老板是一位新加坡在上海定居的华人。一次在KTV聚会，喝过一点酒后，带点休闲和私人性质的谈话开始了。
我告诉我他还在单身，然后他建议我应该去现在流行的相亲节目找一位自己的对象。我接着说：但是老板，TV上的那些女孩子们都又漂亮又有钱。你能先给我涨工资吗，因为我不想站在TV上告诉别人我们的公司待遇不怎么好。这不是什么好广告，对吧。
我老板看起来就像是，你知道吗？他说：你依旧年轻，如果你30了还单身的话，我就去上海婚介所去，我有你的简历资料。

And what happened ?

然后呢？接下来呢？

Found myself a boyfriend in time and got married when I was 32.

当时已经找到了自己的男朋友，在我32岁时结婚了。

From the marriage market?

从婚介所找的？

No from reddit.

不，从reddit找的

I so want this to be true.

我多希望这是真的

Walk along the Bund as a white person, and hookers will follow you, grabbing your arm, offering massages. You have to be rude (by our standards) to get rid of them.

作为一个白人漫游在上海外滩，然后一些妓女就会跟着你，抓住你的胳膊，提供按摩服务。我不得不以粗鲁（我们的标准来看）的方式摆脱她们。

It is shocking how different that place is at night compared to day. I was staying at a hotel about six minute walk and thought it would be cool to see the waterfront at night.
Solicited non stop for a half mile both ways. Incredible jarring to see that level of poverty

让人震惊的是外滩的白天和夜晚是如此的不同。我住在旅馆里，大约6分钟路程，看看夜晚下的海滩，想想觉得也不错。
来回不过半里的路上，不停地被骚扰。贫困水平令人吃惊。

The hookers make better money than you think.

妓女们赚的钱可比你想的多。

Yup, hookers are rich

没错，妓女们很有钱。

That's not even the tip of the weirdness. The information on the resumes are pretty brutal. Other than the obvious age, education, work etc. They also include village passport (which carry certain reputations), salary, properties, family background etc... The best part is that some of the kids may not even have consented to their parents doing this. I tried to snap some photos, but most of them shoo-ed me away quickly.

不可思议的是，那里没有小费。简历信息太直接粗暴了。什么年龄，教育，工作等。还包括农村户口（带有某种荣誉），薪资水平，房产，家庭背景等等……最棒的是，那些可能都没经过孩子们同意就这么做的父母们。我试着撤掉一些照片，但他们中的大多数都会嘘你赶紧离开。

Someone should tell that dutch guy

应该来人把这些告诉给荷兰那群人。

I did the same thing! At first I thought they were all missing people advertisements.

我也经历过！一开始我还以为那是人口失踪告示。

Waiting to use an ATM. Standing about 5 feet behind the person using it like any normal American would.
Another person walks up and stands directly behind the guy using it. Then another. Then another. Then another. Nuts-to-butts, no space between them.

等着用ATM。就如所有任何普通美国人都会做的那样，站在正在用机器的人的5步左右的距离远。
又来了一个人径直走到那家伙的后面站定。然后又来一个，又来一个，又来一个。人挨人，肩并肩，紧挨着对方。
现在我排在第六的位置上了。

Your mistake was obviously leaving the 5 feet gap. In China, you need to ignore comfort zones and push yourself up against the guy in front of you while resting your chin on his shoulders.
All joking aside, I've had this happen many times and I just told them I was already waiting. So far, they were always quick to move back.

你的错误是站了5步那么远的空隙。在中国，你需要无视舒适空间，推着自己往前走，然后把你的下巴靠在对方的肩旁上。
好吧，所有笑话放一边，我也多次遇到过这样的事情，我只是告诉他们我已经等着。迄今为止，他们都会很快的推到你的后面。

You should gently kiss him in the back of his neck trust me i'm Chinese.

我应该绅士般的亲吻他们的后脖子，相信我，我是中国人。

Or you could start giving him a shoulder massage, trust me I eat Chinese

或者你也可以给做个肩部按摩，相信我，我吃过中餐。

He should feel your erection.

你应该让他感受到你的勃起。

I've heard that it's polite to cup his balls. It's called a courtesy cup

我听说，捧着对方的蛋蛋是一种礼貌行为。

I was told to bring him home and introduce him to my parents, maybe start a bed and breakfast or something. Damnit dude, I just wanted to take some cash out of the ATM.

我会告诉他并带他回家，把他介绍给我的木，可能上个床或者吃个早饭什么的。该死的，伙计，我就是取个钱而已。

Hi Chinese, I'm dad.

嘿，中国人，我是你爹。
How to queue in India:

在印度，如何排队呢？



I'm no homophobe or anything, but how is that comfortable for anybody?

我没有同性恋恐惧症什么的，但这些人到底会是什么感觉呢？
They are alternating between the guy who is always hot and the guy who is always cold so the line approaches optimal temperature.

他们在浑身发热和浑身发冷的人之间交替着排队，以保证这队列维持最佳温度。
Indians are naturally cold-blooded, so huddling together for warmth is the only way to survive in a line.
印度人天然冷血，所以为了保持暖和抱成一团，这样才能在队列线上生存下来。

I'm gay, and this looks like a fucking sausage fest to me.

我是个基佬，这看起来就像是该死的香肠节一般。
Not just a sausage fest, a sweaty sausage fest. I know some guys are into that but... Imagine how HOT India is and then imagine standing in that line in that heat. Fuck everything about that.

不单单是香肠节，是大汗香肠节。想想一下当下是闷热的印度，然后在想象在那个温度下这样战队列。该死的。
Then imagine the smell

想象下那个味道……
I feel ill

我要死了……

By leaning on the guy behind you and being leaned on by the guy in front of you, and everybody in the back pushing forward, you don't even have to try to stand!

靠在你后面那人的身上，再靠在前面那人的身上，然后后面的人都往前推，你都不需要自己站着了。
But any woman in line would be pregnant already....

任何在这队列里的女人应该已经怀孕了…………