女人最常对男人说的谎话是什么？ [美国媒体]

What are the most common lies women tell men?

女人最常对男人说的谎话是什么？



（译注：作为上一篇的回应，本来是想做一篇不错的。奈何女性版的这个问题里太多黄暴内容，各位姑且看看吧。）



Adam Taha, Songwriter, Creative Writing on dating and relationships（作词人，创作约会和交友反面的歌词）
1. Is that your ex? She’s really nice. She’s gorgeous. Wow!
Translated “I better keep an eye on her. She has a better ass and her tits are big. Her curves are so tight and I know he might just fall for her. I don’t like her at all. The bitch! Why is she trying to call him and spend time with my man? Why did she look at him in that way? Why did she come over to say hi for when I’m with him?”

这是你前女友。她挺不错，哇，真漂亮。
翻译“我得留意她了。她屁股更好看，胸也更大。她身材很好，他可能会爱上她的。我一点儿也不喜欢她。婊子！为什么她给我男人打电话，想和他待在一起？她为什么那样看他？为什么我们在一起的时候，她还过来打招呼？”

2. Is this your friend. She’s so nice
Translated, “I am asking to see how you feel about her. If anything is going on. Do you like her in that way?”

这是你的朋友？她真好
翻译“我问是想看你对她的感觉是怎么样的。如果发生了什么事。你会喜欢那样的她吗？”

3. I love you
“I am checking if you love me too. I want you to say it back to me.”

我爱你
“我说这句话只是想看看你是不是也爱我。我想让你也对我说这句话。”

4. Baby I had this problem, what do you think.
Translated “I just want to talk, vent and just want you to listen. Please don’t give me solutions darling. I just want to talk and feel better.”

宝贝我有个问题，你有什么看法
翻译“我只是想谈谈，发泄一下，希望你当听众。别给我什么解决办法。我只是想说出来。”

Cia Oberoi, Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.（做自己的英雄，而不是受害者）
1. I'm fine.
If today were opposite day, yeah, I'd be fine.

我没事
今天发生的事都反过来话，我就没事。

2. I never do this.
I do this quite often, really.

我从没做过这个
我经常做这个，真的。

3. I'll be ready in 5 minutes.
I'll be ready in 25 to 35 minutes.

5分钟就好
25-35分钟才能好

4. I'm not drunk.
I'm very drunk.

我没醉
我醉翻了

5. I'm not gonna puke.
Start the countdown, she's about to blow.

我不会吐的
开始倒计时，她就要吐了。

6. I'm usually not this crazy.
I'm usually crazy, just maybe not THIS crazy.

我一般不会这么疯
我经常疯玩，不过可能不是今天这种疯

7. Oh, he's just a friend.
He's a friend, but, yeah, I probably have slept with him at some point or another.

哦，他就是个朋友
他是个朋友，但是，我也许某个时候和他睡过了。

8. I didn't expect anything from you anyway.
She expected quite a bit from you, in fact- now that you've split ties with her- the book of baby names she bought will undoubtedly go to waste.

我一点也没有期待从你那儿得到什么。
实际上，她对你期望挺大的-如果你现在就和她断开-那她买的那本《婴儿取名大全》就作废了。（译注：这个书名是我杜撰的）

9. I promise I won't get mad.
Wait and see how mad I'm about to get.

我保证我不会生气的。
你等着瞧，看我怎么生气。

10. I'm not the type to get jealous...
Something just made me jealous.

我不是那种吃醋的人
某些事让我吃醋了

11. We were bar hopping.
There was probably a club, or two, as well as a dude's apartment involved.

我们在酒吧跳舞
实际可能是一个夜店，或两个，也许还有某个家伙的公寓。

13. I'm on my period.
We ain't having sex!

我来大姨妈了
我们不做！

14. Sorry my phone's dying and the charger is on the other side of the room.
You just got ignored via text.

不好意思，我手机快没电了，而且充电器在房间另一头。
你被无视了

15. I've only had sex with [insert lower number here] people.
I've had sex with [that tiny number of] people, multiplied by three.

我只和【n】个人做过。
我和【n】*3个人做过。

Arundhati Bose, Weak at understanding maths, chemistry and people.（不懂数学、化学和人）
1. Lie- “You got into a relationship? I am so happy for you!”
Reality- I am reconsidering my entire life right now because if you got a girlfriend then there’s something terribly, terribly wrong with this world.

谎言-“你谈恋爱了？真为你高兴！”
真相-我现在开始认真思考我的整个人生了。因为如果你能交到一个女朋友，那说明这个世界真是出了很严重的问题。

2. Lie- “I am a little busy right now, I will call you later”
Reality- If you are actually anticipating that call then you need to sort your life. For real.

谎言-“我现在有点忙，我等下打给你”
真相-如果你真的期待那个电话，那你得好好整理一下你的生活了，真的。

3. Lie- “I like your friends!”
Reality- Their offhand sexist jokes are NOT funny and I have killed your best friend thrice in my head.

谎言-“我喜欢你的朋友！”
真相-他们那不尊重人的黄色笑话一点都不好笑。在我脑海里，我已经把你最好的朋友杀死了三次。

4. Lie- “I got no time to do my make up”
Reality- I spent 1 hour and 38 minutes trying to get this ‘natural look’.

谎言-“我没时间化妆了”
真相-我花了1小时38分想画好这个“素颜”

5. Lie- “Oh, you went to Goa last year? Nice”
Reality- Of course I know that. I have Instagram stalked you so terribly, I even know which biscuit your dog likes the best.

谎言-“噢，你去年去了果啊？真棒”
真相-我当然知道了。我天天看你朋友圈，我甚至知道你的狗最喜欢吃什么饼干。

6. Lie- “I don’t use slangs”
Reality- I call my best friend with such slangs that sometimes I forget what her name is.

谎言-“我不说俚语”
真相-我经常用俚语和我最好的朋友打电话，以至有时我忘了她的名字。（译注：大概就是hei，bro/dude这样吧）

7. Lie- “Sorry, that was a drunk text”
Reality- I was as sober as Virgin Mary when I called you sexy, can you please, for once, get the goddamn hint?

谎言-“不好意思，那是醉话”
真相-我和圣母玛利亚一样清醒，当我说你性感的时候，拜托，就一次，能不能懂这该死的暗示？

Elena Ledoux, Founder at MommyGO (2017-present)（MommyGO创始人）
“How did you get that scar?”

“你那伤疤是怎么来的？”

I want to say, ‘I was at my ex-boyfriend’s home and closed the tall window on a terrace. The glass flew out and shattered into a million pieces, over my arm. The ex - who was a surgeon - came over and calmly offered to sew back on a bloody piece of skin that was now loose. I was really taken aback by how unmoved he was by seeing me covered in blood and shaken. And also realized then that calm and stoic may not be my type after all.’

我想说，“当时我在前男友家，我去关一个阳台上的很高的窗户。窗子上的玻璃掉了出来，碎成了很多片，掉到了我的手臂上。前男友是个外科医生，他过来后冷静地帮我把划开的皮肤缝回去了。我血流了一地，还不停地发抖，结果他一点反应也没有，我真的大吃一惊。我冷静下来后，意识到这种平静、淡定的风格不是我喜欢的类型。”

But I respond: “Some glass fell out of the window and cut my arm.”

我总结到：“一些玻璃掉出了窗户，划伤了我的手臂。”

Olivia July
1. You're the best I've ever had.

你是和我交往过的最好的一个。

2. You're so BIG.

你真大

3. Of course I don't care about your money.

我不在乎你的钱

4. I don't know what I'd do without you.

没有你，我不知道该怎么办

5. Nothing is wrong. I'm fine.

一切正常。我没事。

6. He's just a friend.

他只是个朋友

7. My mother likes you. You're overreacting.

我妈妈喜欢你，你反应过度了。

8. I love when you cook.

最喜欢你做饭的样子

9. No, I don't have an attitude because the toilet seat was up.

马桶垫是立起来的，没关系，我不介意。

10. I love you.

我爱你