我父亲也许是我孩子的爸爸 [美国媒体]

Dear Deidre

亲爱的Deidre

I CAUGHT my girlfriend having sex with my dad. My world fell apart and now she says she is pregnant.

我发现我的女友和我爸爸做爱。我的整个世界都崩溃，现在她竟然告诉我她怀孕了。



We’ve been together for two years. She’s 22 and I’m 24. My mum passed away years ago so when my relationship with my girlfriend got serious, my dad suggested she move in with us.

我们在一起两年了。她22岁，我24岁。我妈妈前几年就去世了，所以当我和女友关系紧张的时候，我爸爸建议她搬来和我们一起住。

She is a nurse so she works shifts, while my job is nine to five for a computer company. Our anniversary was coming up and I’d planned to propose. She was at home after a night shift and I took the afternoon off to surprise her with an engagement ring.

她是个护士所以她轮班工作，而我在朝九晚五的电脑公司。我们周年纪念快到了而且我准备了计划。那天她晚班下班回家，我请了一下午的假，带着订婚戒指准备给她个惊喜。

I let myself in and I heard moaning but thought I was imagining it. I crept upstairs and opened our bedroom door to find my dad on top of my girlfriend.

我偷偷进入房子，这时我听到呻吟声，但我告诉自己这只是我的幻觉。我爬上楼，打开卧室门，发现我爸爸正压在我的女友身上。（一树梨花压海棠）

I was horrified — and so were they. My girlfriend screamed: “Get out!” Then my dad said: “Wait downstairs. We can explain everything.” They couldn’t, of course. They had no excuse.

我吓死了——他们也是。女友大声尖叫：“滚出去！”然后我爸爸说：“到楼下等着，我们可以解释任何事。”他们当然不能。他们没有任何借口。

They said they hadn’t meant to hurt me, that the affair just happened and had been going on for a few months. I never noticed.

他们说他们不是故意伤害我的，这件事发生没多久，才刚持续几个月。而我丝毫没有注意到。

My dad is 45. He looks after himself and I know he’s a good-looking guy, but I never thought he’d stoop so low as to take my girlfriend off me.

我爸爸已经45岁了。他很会照顾自己而且我知道他挺帅。但是我从没想过他这么低级，把我的女朋友从我身边带走。（朋友妻不可欺，更何况儿子妻）

My girlfriend has left but I still love her. She’s phoned saying she’s pregnant and I believe her but I will only have her back if the baby is mine.

我的女友已经离开但我还是爱她。她打电话告诉我说她怀孕了，而且我相信她。然而除非孩子是我的，不然我不会让她回来。

Dad is hardly speaking to me and the atmosphere is awful.

爸爸几乎不和我说话，气氛很糟糕。

DEIDRE SAYS: How you and she handle the pregnancy is the urgent issue.

DEIDRE说：你和她如何处理怀孕才是紧急问题。

You can’t do DNA tests until after the baby is born but the dates should help her know who is most likely the father. Best get medical advice, as so many misunderstand pregnancy dating.

在孩子生出来之前，你不能做DNA测试。日期可以帮助她知道谁最可能是孩子的父亲。最好接受专业的医学意见，因为很多人都会搞混怀孕时间。

If it’s likely to be yours and you want her back, you need to repair whatever had gone wrong in your relationship before you will be ready to be parents together. Be clear you wouldn’t forgive her cheating a second time.

如果孩子可能是你的而且你希望她回来，在你们准备好一起当父母之前，你需要修复你们关系中的任何错误。必须清楚的是，如果有第二次外遇，你不会原谅。

If the baby is your dad’s, it will have to be her decision whether to go ahead with the pregnancy. Either way, tell your dad you hope you can repair your relationship in time. I suspect he feels guilty and defensive but it’s best to find somewhere else to live.

如果孩子是你爸爸的，那就轮到她决定是否终止妊娠。不管怎样，告诉你爸爸你希望能及时修补你们的关系。我怀疑他会感到内疚和自卫但你最好找个地方住。