为什么总体上很难约会到中国女性？ [美国媒体]

Why is it difficult to date a Chinese woman in general?

为什么总体上很难约会到中国女性？



​Mo Chen, lives in China (1989-present)
Answered Jul 16
Michael Kheifetz Thanks for A2A. But, beinga native Chinese cisgender male myself, I don’t agree with the question.

泻药，但是作为一个顺性别男性中国人，我不赞同这个问题。

I think dating Chinesewoman is not so difficult.
But Ido think some cultural differences makes dating Chinese women difficult for aforeigner.
By datingI’m assuming you want to have a long term relationship, instead of just casualrelationship. Because from my experience, the opinion is often extreme on theopposite end of the spectrum: Chinese girls are easy to sleep with, butdifficult to date for long term relationship.

我认为和中国女人约会并不难。但是某些文化差异确实让外国人在约会中国女孩时变得困难。谈到约会，我认为你是想要建立长期关系，而不仅仅是性伙伴关系。因为从我的经验来看，人们通常认为中国女孩很容易上床，但要想和她们建立长期关系很难。



And westarted dating.
Is itdifficult?
Howdoes Chinese woman receive Macho in a man
Theydon’t like it. Look at our popular Chinese male stars; they are considered tobe effeminate by traditional west culture.
Butthey attract Chinese woman. What doesn’t attract Chinese woman? Sweaty Machohuge dudes with bulky muscle and excessive body hair lifting unnecessarilyheavy weights.

这很难吗？中国女人如何看待男性的男子气概。她们不喜欢。看看我们着名的中国男性明星；以传统西方文化标准来看，他们是很柔弱的。但是很受中国女性喜欢。什么样的男性不吸引中国女人？出汗的强壮男性，大块肌肉和过剩的体毛，体重过重。

Iworkout a lot in the US, so I had muscle. Back then when we just started todate, my girlfriend said this to me:
“You look nice, buttoo bad you were too muscular. I don’t like muscular guys. It looks *fat*.”

我在美国经常健身，所以有肌肉。在我们刚开始约会时，我女朋友对我说：“你看起来不错，但是肌肉太多。我不喜欢肌肉男。看起来很肥的感觉。”

And Iwas like…WTF? But I tried to explain what’s the difference between “fit” and“fat”, but she dismissed me: “Thin + muscular = fit; you are just fat. I don’tcare how much muscle you got.”

我一脸懵逼，于是向她解释健美和肥胖的区别，但是她反对我，说：瘦加上肌肉才等于健美，你就是肥胖。我不在乎你有多少肌肉。



But donot feel bad about the muscle you worked so hard to get. It’s not exactly a“minus” per say. Chinese women just don’t value this in a guy as much.

但是也不用为自己的肌肉感到伤心。不完全是减分项。只不过中国女性不会那么重视。

Language& culture barrier
It’shard to traverse through the massive language & culture barrier. Chineseculture is highly contextual, and while learners might be having a headacheover this, we love it, we celebrate it.

语言和文化障碍。很难跨越巨大的语言和文化障碍。中国文化相当讲究文脉，虽然学习者会一头雾水，但是我们爱它，庆祝它。

If youare a foreigner who cannot get, or deliver a few puns in Chinese, a few cleverChengyu in Chinese, OR a few improvised poems in Chinese, your date will getrather frustrated.

如果你是外国人，不知道如何说一些中文俏皮话，或者一些聪明的成语，或者一些即兴的中文诗歌，你的约会就很难。

But Ithink this point is similar in all cross-cultural dating scenario. All I cansay is: try to keep an open mind about it, and do not dismiss the Chineseculture and act as if English-based culture are the “only correct way” in thisworld. Try to appreciate, and be humble, and be interested to learn. Most of usChinese are kin to teach foreigners about our fun culture.

但是我认为在所有的跨文化约会场景里都存在这个问题。我想说的是，尽量保持开放的心态，不要贬低中国文化，好像英语文化是唯一正确的似的。学会欣赏，谦虚，保持学习的兴趣。大部分中国人都喜欢向外国人教授我们的文化。



Don’tmake public displays of affection, unless she initiates it. It can be a bigturn off for many Chinese woman.

不要在公共场合秀恩爱，除非是女方发起。对很多中国女性而言这种行为很不好。

It’sjust my 2 cents, I might be wrong. I’m not the expert in Chinese women, I’mjust an expert in “a” Chinese woman.

这就是我的看法，可能是错的。毕竟我不是中国女性专家。