单身的残忍真相是什么？（一） [美国媒体]

What is the brutal truth about being single?

单身的残忍真相是什么？



答案一：
Anonymous
Answered Wed
Going anonymous as I don't want my friends on Quora to know about this. Sorry for a tad longer post. I am a 27 years old guy being single till date and never had any relationship before. Some of the things I do:

我要匿名，因为我不想让我在Quroa上的朋友知道这件事。抱歉，我的帖子有点长。我是一个27岁的男人，单身至今，从未与任何人发生过关系。以下是我做的一些事情：



Most of my friends are getting married and whenever I see myself, I think what's wrong in my case that I couldn't find a suitable partner

我的大多数朋友都结婚了，每当我看自己的时候，我就会想我到底是怎么了，我找不到一个合适的伴侣。
.
Life is becoming like a hell day by day because it's the same routine for me. Wake up, Office, Back to room, Liking friends status on f.b, feeling sad about my situation of being single and then go to sleep.

生活一天一天变得像地狱一样，因为对我来说这都是同样的例行公事。醒来，到办公室，再回到房间里，给脸书上的朋友状态点赞，为自己单身的现状感到悲哀，然后就去睡觉。

I stay in a single B.H.K and sometimes I do have imaginary thoughts of having a physical relationship with whom I have a crush on.

我一直处于单身状态，我确实会有一些意淫的想法，想和我喜欢的人建立一种身体上的关系。



I sometimes assume that my life will be like this forever and even though if I get married, I can't have that much enjoyment as I always dreamt of!
I try to avoid going to malls, cinema theatres because seeing other couples makes me feel bad about my singlehood.

我有时会认为我的生活将永远是这样的，即使我结婚了，我也无法拥有我一直梦想的那么多的乐趣！
我尽量避免去购物中心、电影院，因为看到其他情侣在一起会让我对自己的单身状况感到难过。

Whenever I try to overcome this habit of negative thinking, I have tried all ways i.e Hitting gym, practicing meditation, playing outdoors but trust me none of them helped me because most of the time I either stopped doing it due to some constraints or call me a lazy guy(procrastination)!

每当我试图克服这种消极思维的惯性时，我就尝试各种方法。去健身房，练习冥想，在户外玩耍，但是相信我，这些对我都没有帮助，因为大多数时候，我要么因为一些限制而停止运动，要么你就叫我懒鬼吧(拖延症)！



You might not be a bad person, it’s only the vibe that you might be currently giving away that’s pushing people away from you.
Take control of your life first and trust me, better things will follow.

你可能不是一个坏人，只是你现在释放出来的那种感觉会让别人远离你。
首先控制你的生活，相信我，更好的事情就会随之而来。

Helena Leslie
Thu
Probably not what your expecting. But you need to be having more sex. It’s something to do with the pheromones I swear. Even if you have to see an escort every other night of the week. Trust me. For some reason women secretly want the guy that’s having sex with everyone not the guy who’s waiting for ‘the one’. It’s biological not logical

可能我说的不是你所期待的。但是你需要有更多的性生活。我发誓这和信息素有关。即使你不得不每隔一个晚上去见一个护花使者。相信我。出于某种原因，女人暗地里想要的是和所有人都做过爱的男人，而不是等待“真命天子”。这是生物学上的问题，而不是逻辑上的。

Oluyemi Adetunji
Fri
Dear,
I know your pain cos its as if you are describing me even though the gender is quite reversed. (Believe me the situation is worse when you are the rejected girl). Initially, I thought the problem was with me but later I dont think so. I still have those doubts but really to get love in this present age you need to be dumb.

亲爱的，
我了解你的痛苦，因为好像你就是在描述我，尽管我们的性别正好相反。(相信我，当你被拒绝的时候，情况会更糟)。起初，我以为问题出在我身上，但后来我就不这么认为了。我仍然有这些疑问，但在这个时代，想要得到爱，你必须保持沉默。



Sudhir Patel
Thu
If people are hesitant to approach you than change your attitude towards others. Keep smiling and offer your help genuinely when someone can use your help. You can help others by just having well manners. Appreciating and making genuine comments about people and surrounding can help making a first impression. Don’t be afraid of making positive comments if you notice something about a person or his/ her possessions. Break the silence by talking about something good about surrounding to start a conversation. Everyone hates silence because it is boring when you are waiting. Do not over think about yourself.

如果人们在接近你时犹豫不决，那就改变你对别人的态度。当有人需要你的帮助时，保持微笑，真诚地提供帮助。你只要有礼貌就可以帮助别人。欣赏并真诚地评论他人和周围的环境有助于给人留下好的第一印象。如果你注意到一个人或他的东西，不要害怕发表积极的评论。打破沉默，谈谈周围的好事情，开启一段对话。每个人都讨厌沉默，因为你等待的时候会很无聊。不要太在意自己。

Maiko Cezar
Thu
If I were you I would start doing voluntary work, to change my mind focus away from my lack of relationship. Because it’s not very common to have somebody touching you and you are seeing it everywhere.
But I never had this problem and have being in a relationship for more than 10 years, so take this advice with a pinch of salt.

如果我是你，我会开始做志愿者工作，将我的关注点从我缺乏恋爱关系这件事上转移开。因为有人抚摸你这件事并不算常见，不是你能到处都能看到的。
但我从来没有这个问题，我已经拥有一段10多年的关系了，所以对于这个建议，就姑妄听之吧。



Secondly, my main advice is that you have to be happy with yourself and who you are before you get into a relationship. If you can’t be your own best friend, enjoy your choices and your life, you won’t find another person who can do that for you.

其次，我的主要建议是，在开始一段感情之前，你必须对自己和自己是谁感到满意。如果你不能成为自己最好的朋友，享受你的选择和你的生活，你就不会找到另一个能帮你做到这一点的人。

Last thing is that maybe what you’re waiting for is more a fantasy than a reality. You mentioned not being interested in some people who like you and having some ideals about marriage. Don’t let your preconceptions get in the way of your life! You need to put yourself out there and be ready for something new and unexpected. Sometimes you can’t go into things with a plan.

最后一件事是，也许你等待的更多的是幻想而不是现实。你提到了你对一些喜欢你的人不感兴趣，对婚姻有一些理想的想法。不要让你的先入之见妨碍你的生活！你需要让自己置身其中，准备好迎接新的和意想不到的事情。有时候你无法有计划地去做事情。

To summarize: just focus on where you are not others, learn to be friends with yourself - take yourself out on dates, get into some hobbies, and be open to the unexpected!
Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans!
Hope this helps

总结一下：专注于你自己，而不是别人，学会和自己做朋友——带自己出去约会，培养一些业余爱好，并对意想不到的事情保持开放的心态！
生活就是当你忙于制定计划时，总会发生意想不到的事情！
希望这对你有帮助



Why don't u go 2 malls etc.... I always go to malls, restaurants, trips, parks etc that too all alone..... I even go for romantic movies again all alone n there I find all couples but so what..... Might be I have something which they don't hv n they would be craving for that….who knows

你为什么不去商场逛逛呢……我总是会去购物中心、餐厅、旅游景点、公园等等地方，所有的一切都是独一无二的……我甚至会独自去看爱情电影，在那里我能发现各色情侣，但那又如何？可能我拥有着一些他们没有而且还非常渴望的东西呢……谁知道呢

Why u deactivated ur account??….. Running from anything can never take u to the solution rather complicate it..... This is wt I hv learned.... Never run from hard things bt face it..

为什么你要停用你的社交媒体账户？逃避任何东西永远不能把你带来解决方案，反而会让情况复杂化……这是我所学到的东西。面对困难不要逃避。

If looking for just physical relationship then definitely u can try tinder n call girls..... Bt if u r looking 4 love just try 2 set up a good bond with a girl whomever u like..... Never be in desperation for relationship bcz its a big turn off..... I hv met such guys n I hv ignored them for this reason



Margaret Lloyd
Thu
you mention that girls DO approach you, but they are not the ones you are interested in, so maybe the problem is that you have a very particular (very narrow) view of your potential partner. Maybe give those girls who do approach you a chance :)

你提到女孩确实会接近你，但她们不是你感兴趣的人，所以可能问题是你对你的潜在伴侣有一个非常特别(非常偏狭)的看法。也许你应该给那些接近你的女孩一个机会

Shruti Kare
Thu · 1 upvote
I think it’s the matter of time and believe me it’s good to be happy alone rather than being in an unhappy relationship… rejoice this time because once it’s gone you can’t have it .. being in relationship is a full time responsibility so enjoy your solitude and embrace it …

我认为这是时间的问题，相信我，独乐乐总比陷入一段不愉快的关系要好……珍惜这段时光，因为一旦它消失了，你就不能再拥有它了……恋爱是一种全职工作，所以请享受你的孤独，拥抱它吧……

————————————————————

答案二：
Shayne Bolivar, General Contractor
Updated Oct 26
You wake up, make yourself a cup of coffee, and finish it while reading a magazine, a book, or a newspaper.

你醒来，给自己冲一杯咖啡，然后一边看杂志、看书或报纸，一边把它喝完。



You arrive to your hotel. Unpack your stuff, and lay down. You think of the things that you can do to maximize your trip.
SO WHAT’S THE BRUTAL TRUTH ABOUT BEING SINGLE?

你到达了你的旅馆。打开你的行李，躺下。你在想自己能做什么来充分利用你的旅行。
那么，单身的残酷事实是什么呢？

On those activities mentioned above, do you know that feeling? That weird feeling, where you can’t tell if doing those things on your own, is freedom or loneliness.
You’re just torn between the two.

关于上面提到的那些活动，你知道那种感觉吗？那种奇怪的感觉是自由还是孤独，你自己都不知道自己在做什么。
你只是在两者之间左右为难而已。

评论：



Swati Bhatt
Oct 5 · 107 upvotes including Shayne Bolivar
If you enjoy being on your own it's freedom and Independence. If you feel crappy, it's loneliness. Loneliness is just a state of mind. Being alone doesn't equate loneliness. People can feel loneliness in relationships we well.

如果你喜欢自己,那就是自由和独立。如果你觉得蹩脚，那就是孤独。孤独只是一种心态。独处并不能等同于孤独。人们在交往中也能感觉到孤独。

Rahul Dharamdasani
Oct 11 · 3 upvotes including Shayne Bolivar and Swati Bhatt
While I do agree with you, I do feel that while being single, one tends to be in between the two extremes. For example, I do have the freedom to choose what I want to do/eat/wear at home. I can be in my underwear and I don't have to worry about not seeming decent. I can make a food monstrosity using obscene amounts of ketchup (not recommended) and no one will judge me. That is freedom.

虽然我同意你的观点，但我确实觉得单身的人往往处于两个极端之间。例如，我确实有自由选择在家里我想做什么、吃什么和穿什么。我可以穿着我的内裤，我不用担心自己看起来不得体。我可以用大量的番茄酱制作一种古怪的食物(不推荐)，没有人会来评判我。这就是自由。



Shayne Bolivar
Oct 4 · 12 upvotes
The answer I wrote is actually from a personal experience— I am torn between the two sometimes, not sure if that’s freedom, not sure if that’s loneliness. There’s a mixed thoughts of, “Hey, look at me, I’m so great and independent” and “Hey, I wish someone would take care of me”. I usually get that “torn between the two” feeling the most when I do something good, when I travel, or when I’m sick and nursing myself.

我写的答案实际上来自于我个人的经历——有时我在两者之间徘徊，不确定这是否是自由，也不确定这是否是孤独。有一种复杂的想法：“嘿，看看我，我是如此伟大和独立”和“嘿，我希望有人能照顾我”。当我做出了一些成绩、出去旅行或者生病必须照顾自己的时候，我通常会在这两者之间挣扎。

Bruce Hartwell
Oct 5 · 5 upvotes including Shayne Bolivar
I wonder, in doing these things, the same things we all do. While sitting in that hotel room, does it feel lonely that nobody is at home waiting for your call, nobody who is truly interested and concerned about how you are doing. Yes, I guess I could understand a feeling of freedom. Maybe I've just been married to long, but I would see it as lonely.

我想知道，在做这些事情的时候，我们全都在做同样的事情。坐在酒店的房间里，是否会因为没有人在家等着你的电话而感到孤独？是的，我想我能理解自由的感觉。也许我结婚太久了，但我会觉得孤独。



Shayne Bolivar
Oct 5
I’ve been on a vacation by myself, but movies, not yet. I’m not into watching movies.

我曾经独自去度假，但至今还没有独自去看过电影。我会看不下去的。