黄西脱口秀：建墙对中国来说没用 [美国媒体]

每人一小段，翻译我也行！
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-------------译者：沈阳有发展-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

脱口秀内容：

I'm actually an American immigrant. And they said that American is actually a country of immigrants. So I have to ask you guys please leave my country. I'm serious. We have a zero tolerant policy right now.

我其实是个美国移民者。他们说美国实际上是一个移民国家。所以我必须请你们离开我的国家。我是认真的。我们现在实行的是没有任何通融余地的零容忍移民政策。



My son was born and raised in America. I remembered one day he came home from school. That's when he about 5 years old. He said to me"Hey dad I learned America history today." I said"Wow that's great." He said"Now I really feel bad for black people." I said"Yeah they really misreaded in American history." He said"Yeah and I'm so glad that I'm WHITE." I was like"Hold on. You're not white." He said"Then what am I?" I said"You are yellow." The true story. That he later looked at his hand he was like"Daddy this doesn't look yellow to me." I said"Yes I know. But this is America. And everybody has to have a color. And that's the color they gave us. You're better deal with it."

我儿子是在美国出生长大的。我记得有一天他从学校回到家，那时候他大概5岁。他对我说：“爸爸，我今天学了美国的历史。”我说：“哇，那很棒啊！”他说：“我现在真的为黑人感到难过。”我说：“是啊，他们真的被美国历史误解大发了。”他说：“对啊，所以我很高兴我是个白人。”我说：“等一下，你不是白人。”他说：“那我是什么人啊？”我说：“你是黄种人。”这事真发生过。他后面看了看自己的手，说，“爸爸，我觉得我看起来不黄啊。”我说:“是啊，我知道。但这里是美国。每个人都得有种肤色。这就是他们眼中我们的肤色。你对此最好认命。”



But my son has a good point though. Nobody in America especially a person's of color is exactly the color they're assigned. Like this is not exactly yellow. It's kinda brown. A black person is not exactly a black they're kind of...brown. So we are all pretty much all different shades of mexicans. So white people please don't feel left out. I have a lot things in common with white guys. For example I have an Asian wife.

但我儿子说得也有道理。在美国没有哪个人的肤色是他们自己能决定的。就像（我的）肤色其实不是黄色。而是棕色。一个黑人的肤色也不是真的是黑色，而是…（深）棕色的。所以我们其实都是肤色深浅程度不同的墨西哥人罢了。白人们不要觉得自己被孤立了啊。我和白人之间是有很多共同之处的。例如，我有一个亚洲妻子。

-------------译者：qinxiangyuan-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

【油管处评论】

Xander Diesel
Now this is comedy...true and optimicism..

这才是单口喜剧.....真实又乐观.....



Lord of the belts: The return of the KING
Most Chinese who aren't from northern China are indeed like a light brown colour. The irony in America is that literally like 90% of "white" people without a tan or fake tan are actually like a pink complexion. Yet they never called themselves the colour they are instead the choose white as they think it sounds cool. Yet I have never seen a white person in my life it's even more ridiculous when some Japanese and Mongolia or far northern Chinese people who are like a pale cream colour yet still called "yellows" by literally a tanned looking European American. It's quite crazy it's like back the front.
I notice also an Asian can be tanned and nearly all are in south east Asia and southern China this tan is also justified and called "yellow" by Americans. Yet someone in America can have the exact same tan and skin tone and instead because their ancestry is European it will be deemed "lovely golden".
You can see that inside their head they will just distort anything to be what they want it to be. Instead of what it actually is.

大多数非北方的中国人的肤色看上去的确是浅棕色的。讽刺的是，没有晒黑或特意美黑的美国“白人”90%肤色实际上是粉色的。然而，他们不会称自己为粉色，而是选择白色，因为这听起来更酷。我一生中从未见过一个真正的白人，更可笑的是，一些日本人、蒙古人和中国北方人有着浅奶油色的皮肤，但仍然被一个晒得黝黑的欧洲裔美国人称为“黄皮肤”。简直是前后倒置般的疯狂。亚洲人也可以被晒黑，中国南方人和东南亚人的这种晒黑了的肤色也被美国人称为“黄”。然而，某些美国人的肤色和他们完全一样，却因为他们的祖先来自欧洲，所以他们的肤色被视作“金棕色”。可以看到，这些人的大脑会将任何东西扭曲成他们想要的样子，而不管它们实际上是什么样子。

maxglide
The Great Wall ABSOLUTELY worked for China. You ever hear of even one Mexican breaching the great wall?

长城对中国来说是绝对有用的，你难道有听说过墨西哥人突破了长城吗（反问）？

-------------译者：六韬516-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------



Badamgarav Dovchin
Yup the wall doesn’t work. I am a Mongolian : )

对，长城没有用。我是蒙古人我知道:)。

BL213
He made me realize that I am not Asian but actually a Mexican guy. Just a different shade of brown. Hit me up Mexican girls d84;

他让我意识到我不是亚洲人，而是墨西哥人。只是深浅程度不同的棕色（皮肤），赞我上去吧，墨西哥女孩们。

Mario Godoy
He said all the stuff I'm scared to say in public!! He was hilarious! Great job man!

他说了我不敢在公共场合说的话！太逗了！干的漂亮！

​-------------译者：泯彻？无道鼎革！-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Randy Riggs
"Just standing here I'm brown. When I'm cold I'm brown. When I'm hot I'm brown. When I'm sick I'm brown. And when I'm dead I'll be brown.
"You standing there are pink. When you're cold you're blue. When you're hot you're red. When you're sick you're green. And when you're dead you're gray.
"And you call me 'colored'."

“我站在这儿时是棕色的。我冷时是棕色的。我热时是棕色的。我生病时是棕色的。死后我仍然是棕色的。”
“你站在那儿时是粉色的。你冷时是蓝色的。你热时就红了。生病时你是绿色的。当你死了，你又是灰色的。”
“然后你还说我是‘有色人种’。”

Beef Pho
His punchlines are not what you think it will be which is why they were so damn funny especially when he mentioned what he had in common with a white guy. 😂😂😂 Did not see that coming.

他的笑话总是不按常理出牌出乎你的意料，这就是为什么这些笑话如此有趣，尤其是当他提到他和白人的共同点时。哈哈哈，没想到会是那样的共同点。

JP M
There is a great laugher in the audience! Love that!

观众们都笑翻了，效果满分！

Murad Diab
Ready to have your mind blown.
He’s 48 years old.

做好被吓到的准备吧。他今年48岁了。



Alpha0727
LOL I have been saying the same thing since Trump wanted his wall. He just needed to ask China about their Great Wall. Or look at the other walls built throughout history.

哈哈，自特朗普想要建墙后，我jiu一直在说同样的话，那就是他只需要问问中国关于长城的事，或者看看历史上建造的其他城墙就行了。