为什么女人(有时候)不帮助其他女人 [美国媒体]

作为领导,并不是因为女人与生俱来就比男人严厉苛刻,而是因为她们通常以疏远其他女人的方式,来应对性别歧视。女人在职业发展方面为其他女人提供帮助的角色,主要涉及到两大文化理念,而且,从表面上看,这两大理念似乎是相冲突的:“正直女人”和“社交之王”。

Why Women (Sometimes) Don't Help OtherWomen

为什么女人(有时候)不帮助其他女人



It’s not because they’re inherently harsherleaders than men, but because they often respond to sexism by trying todistance themselves from other women.

作为领导,并不是因为女人与生俱来就比男人严厉苛刻,而是因为她们通常以疏远其他女人的方式,来应对性别歧视。

There are two dominant cultural ideas aboutthe role women play in helping other women advance at work, and they areseemingly at odds: the Righteous Woman and the Queen Bee.

女人在职业发展方面为其他女人提供帮助的角色,主要涉及到两大文化理念,而且,从表面上看,这两大理念似乎是相冲突的:“正直女人”和“社交之王”。

The Righteous Woman is an ideal, a beliefthat women have a distinct moral obligation to have one another’s backs. Thiskind of sentiment is best typified by Madeleine Albright’s now famous quote,“There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other!” Thebasic idea is that since all women experience sexism, they should be moreattuned to the gendered barriers that other women face. In turn, thisheightened awareness should lead women to foster alliances and actively supportone another. If women don’t help each other, this is an even worse form ofbetrayal than those committed by men. And hence, the special place in hellreserved for those women.

“正直女人”是一种典范,在获得别人帮助方面,她们清楚自己的道德责任。马德琳·奥尔布赖特将这一观点刻画得最为形象,他说“地狱有个特殊的地方专门收纳不相互帮助的女人!”基本意思是说,既然所有的女人都经历性别歧视,在面对性别障碍时,她们应该更体谅其他女人。反过来,随着这种意识的增强,女人应该团结起来并积极支持彼此。如果女人不相互帮助,比起男人的背叛,这种背叛形式更糟。因此,地狱的特殊位置就是为那种不相互帮助的女人留着的。

The Queen Bee belief, on the other hand,argues that in reality women just can’t get along. As Sheryl Sandberg and AdamGrant point out in their essay in The New York Times on the myth of the cattywoman, this belief rests on the erroneous idea that there is something inherentto the female sex that causes women to undermine each other on the job all thetime.

另一方面,有人认为“社交之王”指女人在现实生活中不能与他人融洽相处。正如谢丽尔·桑德伯格和亚当格兰特在纽约时报上发表的一篇关于阴险女人之谜的论文写的那样,人们错误地认为,女性天生就有总是破坏其他女人工作的因子。

The idea of a Queen Bee syndrome dates toresearch first done in the 1970s. The syndrome encompasses a set of behaviorsranging from women disparaging typically feminine traits (“Women are sooooemotional”), to emphasizing their own “masculine” attributes (“I think morelike a guy”), to seeing claims of gender discrimination as baseless (“Thereason there are so few women at the top is not because of discrimination. It’sthat women are just less committed to their careers”), to being unsupportive ofinitiatives to address gender inequality. The ultimate Queen Bee is thesuccessful woman who instead of using her power to help other women advance,undermines her women colleagues.  

20世纪70年代,对“社交之王”的表现做了首次研究。研究发现,这一表现包含了一系列的举止----从女人诋毁典型地女性气质(“太情绪化的女人气质”)到强调自己的“阳性”特征(“我觉得我像个男人”),将性别歧视的说法视为无稽之谈(“处于社会顶层的女人如此少并不是因为性别歧视。只是因为女人没有男人那样专注于自己的事业”),以及不支持反对性别不平等的活动等。最典型地“社交之王”,不是通过利用自己的能力帮助其他女人发展,而是通过暗中算计女同事而获得成功的女人,

Although these two archetypes (one a model,the other a cautionary tale) seem to be at odds, they overlap in that they bothfurther a double standard—that conflict between men is normal but between womenit’s dysfunctional. When men battle it out, they are seen as engaging inhealthy competition and vigorous debate. When women do the same things, theyare Mean Girls locked in a heated catfight. These perceptions that women arebackstabbing and conniving can lead people to believe that workplace disagreementsbetween women are especially damaging. A study found that when a conflict tookplace between two women coworkers, people expected the consequences to be bothnegative and long-lasting, for example that the women would want revenge. Incontrast, when the identical conflict was between two men or a man and a womanpeople thought that the relationship could be more readily repaired.

尽管以上两类模型(一类堪称楷模,一类狡诈事故)似乎相矛盾,但它们都进一步阐释了一个双重标准----男人之间有冲突只正常的,而女人间有冲突却不正常。当男人奋力争夺时,人们认为他们竞争健康,辩论有力。而当女人做同样的事情时,人们却认为是辣妹过招,争论不断。认为女人以卑劣的手段相互陷害,纵容的观点,会导致人们误以为女人在工作上的分歧具有特殊的破坏性。研究表明,当两名女同事发生冲突时,人们会预料到结果是消极的而且这种消极影响会持续很长一段时间,比如,女人会想到报复。与此相反,如果两个男人之间或者一男一女发生同样的冲突,人们会认为他们之间的关系会更容易修复。

Thus, despite studies showing that menengage in indirect aggression like gossiping and social exclusion at similar oreven higher rates than women, it is still widely believed that women are meanerto one another. Such beliefs are so pervasive that even preschoolers think thatgirls are more likely than boys to engage in relational aggression such asexcluding others despite evidence to the contrary. Even the term Queen Bee isgendered. Of course men can be “jerks” or “assholes,” but there is noequivalent term for men who undertake the specific behavior of plotting againsttheir male colleagues to keep them down.

因此,尽管研究表明,在通过说闲言碎语或者社会排斥等手段进行直接攻击方面,男人的比率与女人相同甚至更高,但人们仍然普遍认为女人更吝啬。这样的观点无处不在,以至于尽管有证据证实这些观点不对,但就连学龄前的儿童都会认为,和男孩比起来,女孩更倾向于有诸如排斥别人的关系攻击行为。甚至术语“社交之王”都被性别化了。当然,男人也可以被称为“傻瓜”或者“窝囊废”,但在暗算,打压男性同事的具体行为上,没有对等的术语来形容男人。

Is there some truth in the Queen Bee stereotype?Are women nastier toward other women than men are to men or than women are tomen?

“社交之王”这一陈词滥调具有某些真实性吗?比起在男人和男人之间,或者女人和男人之间,女人对女人的手段会更卑鄙吗?

Research on these kinds of behaviors havefound instances in which that is the case. For example, a study bypsychologists that examined how professors viewed their Ph.D. students foundthat despite having equal publication records and levels of work commitment,the female professors (but not the male professors) tended to believe thattheir female Ph.D. students were less committed to their careers than theirmale students. But this wasn’t uniformly the case. It turns out that it was theolder generation of women professors, not the younger generation, who displayedthis Queen Bee-like response.

关于这种行为,通过研究,发现了相关实例,证明情况确实如此。例如,心理学家通过研究教授如何看待自己所带的博士生时,发现尽管学业公开发表记录一样,投入水平相同,女教授(但不是男教授)倾向于认为女博士生在职业生涯方面的投入不及男博士生多。但事实并不是一成不变。研究证明,老一代女教授而非年轻一代,表现出了“社交之王”的行为。

What explains this generational difference?Could it be something about the environment in which the older women pursuedtheir careers that elicited a certain harshness toward their women students?For that older generation, it was extremely rare for a woman to climb theladder and become a full professor. By the time the younger women arrived, itwas much more common. Thus, perhaps it was something about the context in whicholder women rose up the ranks (fewer women, more barriers, more sexism) thatexplained their behavior.

拿什么来解释这种代际差异?有可能是环境的原因吗?老一辈妇女为追求事业的成功而被迫对她们的女学生显得苛刻吗?对于这一辈上了年纪的妇女而言,在她们成长的年代,很少有女人登高梯,奋斗成为正教授。而到了年轻女性那一代,这已经很常见了。因此,这可能与老一辈妇女的生活环境有关,她们不断成长,艰难地提升自己(女人更少,障碍更多,对女性歧视更严重),这也解释了她们的行为。

Subsequent research has confirmed justthat. Queen Bee behaviors are not reflective of some Mean Girl gene lurking inwomen’s DNA. Rather, to the degree they exist, Queen Bee dynamics are triggeredby gender discrimination.

随后的研究证明,“社交之王”并不是女性存在某种“贱女孩”基因(DNA)的反应。而是,从某种程度上而言,“社交之王”的动力因子确实存在,而且是由性别歧视引起的。

Specifically, studies find that suchbehaviors emerge when two dynamics come together: gender bias and a lack of gendersolidarity, for lack of a better term. When women for whom being a woman is nota central aspect of their identity experience gender bias, Queen Bee behavioremerges.

具体说来,研究发现,当两种动力因子:性别偏见和缺少性别团结(因为找不到更好的词),到达一起时,这样的行为才会出现。当女人的身份没有受到足够的重视,并经历性别歧视时,“社交之王”的表现就会应运而生。

Here’s why: For women with low levels ofgender identification—who think their gender should be irrelevant at work andfor whom connecting with other women is not important—being on the receivingend of gender bias forces the realization that others see them first andforemost as women. And because of negative stereotypes about women, like thatthey are less competent than men, individual women can be concerned that theircareer path may be stunted if they are primarily seen as just a woman andtherefore not a good fit for leadership.

这就是为什么:对于性别认同程度低的女性——她们认为自己的性别应该与工作无关,与其他女性的关系也不重要——结果受到性别歧视,迫使她们认识到别人最先将她们视为女性。此外,由于对女性消极的性别偏见,比如,认为女性没有男性能干,个体女性便会担心,如果从本质上被视为女性而被认为不适合当领导,她们的事业之路就可能会受阻。

To get around these kinds of genderedbarriers, these women try to set themselves apart from other women. They dothis by pursuing an individual strategy of advancement that centers ondistancing themselves from other women. One way they do this is throughdisplaying Queen Bee behaviors such as describing themselves in more typicallymasculine terms and denigrating other women (“I’m not like other women. I’vealways prioritized my career”).

为了逃避性别障碍,这些女人会设法使自己与其他女人分开。为了达到此目的,她们便追求以疏远其他女人为中心的个人发展战略。一方面,她们通过表现得像“社交之王”来实现这一目的,比如用更男性化的语言描述自己并诋毁其他女人(“我不像别的女人,我总是以事业为先”)

The point is, it’s not the case that womenare inherently catty. Instead, Queen Bee behaviors are triggered in maledominated environments in which women are dued.

问题在于,女人并非天生狡诈。相反,“社交之王”的举止是在男性主导的环境下,女性因受到歧视而引发的。

This kind of response is not even unique towomen. It’s actually an approach used by many marginalized groups to overcomedamaging views held about their group. For example, research has found thatsome gay men try to distance themselves from stereotypes about gays beingeffeminate by emphasizing hyper-masculine traits and holding negative beliefsabout effeminate gays. Social distancing then is a strategy many individualsuse who are trying to avoid, escape, or navigate the social disadvantage of thegroup to which they belong.

这种反应并不是只有女人才有。事实上,许多边缘化群体也会用这种方式来克服人们对该群体的诽谤性观点。比如,研究发现一些男同性恋患者会通过强调自己男性化的气质,并对女人气的男同性恋患者持消极看法,以设法使自己远离成见:男同性恋比较女人气。

While social distancing can enable anindividual from an underrepresented group to advance, it does a disservice tothe group as a whole because it can legitimize inequalities. When a womanexpresses a stereotypical view about another woman, it’s not seen as a sexiststatement but rather as an unbiased assessment, since there is a tendency tobelieve that individuals cannot be biased against members of their own group.But they often are. Indeed, women too can be misogynists. Thus, socialdistancing behaviors can reproduce larger inequalities.

虽然社交距离可以使被忽视群体中的个体取得进步,但总的来说,对该群体有害,因为这样会使不平等合法化。当一个女人向另一个女人表达出带有成见的观点时,这不会被看成是性别歧视,相反,会被当作公正的评估,因为人们倾向于相信来自同一群体的个体不会对彼此带有偏见。但他们通常都会带有偏见。的确,女人太容易讨厌女人。因此,拉大社交距离的行为可以加大群体个体的不平等性。

So what prevents Queen Bee behaviors?Identifying highly as a woman. Women who have experienced gender discriminationbut who more strongly identified with their gender don’t react to such bias bytrying to distance themselves from other women. Instead, a study found thatpolicewomen who highly identified as women responded to gender discriminationwith an increased desire to create more opportunities for other women.

那么,是什么阻止了“社交之王”式的行为呢?高度确认为女人。那些经历过性别歧视但更加强烈认同自己性别的女性,不会以疏远其他女性的方式对待这样的偏见。相反,研究发现,高度认同自己女性性别身份的女警察在面对性别歧视时,更渴望为其他女性创造更多的机会。

There is plenty of evidence to show thatwomen do indeed support one another. When women work with a higher percentageof women they experience lower levels of gender discrimination and harassment.When women have female supervisors, they report receiving more family andorganizational support than when they have male supervisors. And apreponderance of studies show that when more women are in management positions,the gender pay gap is smaller.

有大量证据表明,女人确实会相互支持。当女人与更多的女人一起工作时,她们经历的性别歧视和骚扰便会低些。当女人的上司也是女性时,她们说,与男上司相比,女上司给她们的支持更亲切,更有组织。绝大多数研究表明,当管理岗位上的女性越多,性别间的薪酬差异会越小。

So those Righteous Women are out there, andthey are making it better for other women.

所以,那些正直的女人就在那里,她们正在为别人创造更好的条件。



macthenaif Matt • 6 days ago
" .... it was done to mislead."
Or it was done because the author is awoman prone to confusing cause and effect. I jest.

“.….这篇文章是用来起误导作用的”
或者因为作者是个女人,她倾向于混淆因果。我开玩笑的。

Emotionalogic  Matt • 6 days ago
"And a preponderance of studies showthat when more women are in management positions, the gender pay gap issmaller."
When I got a promotion, the pay gap betweenme and my former bosses mysteriously decreased dramatically...

“绝大多数研究表明,当管理岗位上的女性越多,性别间的薪酬差异会越小。”
当我升职后,神奇的是,我和我的前任老板之间的收入差距显着减小。

Gina • 6 days ago
I identify strongly with being a woman, butnot with being a feminist. Independent thought is not a syndrome.

我强烈地认同自己是一个女人,但我不是女权主义者。独立思维不属于上面所说的表现。

Robert Knox Gina • 6 days ago
You are right, independent thought issomething we need more of.

你说得对,独立思维使我们更需要的新东西。

Gina Stormynight • 5 days ago
Preposterous. I'm a humanist. I believe inegalite, liberte and fraternite, I just don't object to being part of thebrotherhood of man.

可笑。我是人道主义者。我相信平等、自由和博爱。我恰好不反对和男人建立哥们情谊。

Gina FixemGold • 2 days ago
So we should just cater to our most animalinstincts. No thank you. As I said, I'm a humanist.

所以,我们只需要迎合我们的动物本能。不必了,谢谢你。正如我说的那样,我是一个人道主义者。

Gina FixemGold • a day ago
Feminism is sick and sad. Thanks for thereminder.

女权主义是一种病态,而且很悲哀。谢谢提醒。

Fix emGold Gina • a day ago
Your response has no value or substance.The only people who are sick are anti-feminist women who want tobehave like adult children & be subservient to men. You went to treatyourself lesser then don't complain when he doesn't listen to you, when hebeats you, & abuses you.

你的反应没有价值或者主旨。只有那些病态的反女权主义的人,她们即使成年了,还想自己的举止像孩子一样吗,对男人很顺从。你对自己不是那么尊重,所以当他不听话,打你,骂你时,你就别抱怨。

Beth CorverStormynight • 2 days ago
Is this where we do That Thing? "Youbelieve in equality! You're a feminist!"
Are you opposed to murder? Then you're aRoman Catholic!

那件事我们就做到这里?“你相信平等!你是个女权主义者!”
你反对凶杀吗?如果反对,那么你就是罗马天主教的!

Stormynight BethCorver • a day ago
? Not an effective analogy there.

?这里的类比没作用。

Fix emGold Gina • 2 days ago
Typical Queen bee right here. "Ooh Ihate feminism because I don't want to be seen as equal in worth to a man. Iwant to be more submissive so men will find me attractive" XD

典型的“社交女王”就在这儿。“哦,我讨厌女权主义,因为我不想被看作和男人同等的价值。我想变得更加温顺,男人就会觉得我更有魅力”XD

Joe333 • 6 days ago
According to science women are actuallymuch more likely to be biased in favor of other women
http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec...

据科学研究,在支持其他女人时,女人实际上更容易带有偏见。
http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec...

stm22 • 6 days ago
"noI don't have a square tospare, I can't spare a square"

“不,我一平米都省不出来,我省不出一平米,”

Plan 17 stm22 • 6 days ago
Damn Jamie Gertz.

该死的Jamie Gertz

mapeLoiraSafada • 5 days ago
I like your nick. Are you Brazilian?

我喜欢你的昵称。你是巴西人吗?

Robert Knox Matt • 6 days ago
Of course there is, ever hear ofMachiavellian?

这里当然有,听说过权谋政治家吗?

disqusplaya Matt • 6 days ago
Call them c*nts and watch their heads spin.
Separates the women from the girls.

叫她们疯子,看她们头脑混乱的。
把女人和女孩要分开。

Matt bircall • 6 days ago
To be fair, unless you are Oedipus Rex orfrom Alabama or Mississippi, no one believes you have sexwith your mother.

客观地说,除非你是电影里的俄狄浦斯王或者来自阿拉巴马或者密西西比,否则没人会相信你和你妈妈有过性关系。

Hilltop Matt • 6 days ago
If you are from New York you could you only have sex withyour father, right?

如果你来自纽约,你只能和你爸爸有性关系,对吗?

Matt Hilltop • 5 days ago
Correct!

正确!

Casey • 6 days ago
Is there any way that men supporting menwon't be viewed as sexist?

有办法让男人支持男人的做法不被看作为性别歧视吗?

bacchysgrifty • 6 days ago
So your wife is the "Queen Bee"in the navel-gazing article...

所以,你妻子就是这篇空口说白话的文章中所谈到的“社交女王”……

griftybacchys • 6 days ago
No, I'd say she's a normal person. Sheworks with normal people and supports them.
Just like I do in my workplace. I have somecrazy folks and some good folks. I support the good ones and minimize contactwith the nuts.

不,我想说,她是个正常的女人。她和正常的人一起工作,并支持她们。
就像我在职场上一样。我的同事有的疯狂,有的很好。我会支持那些好同事,尽量少联系那些疯狂的。

bacchysgrifty • 5 days ago
Oh, I'm sure you would see her as a normalperson. I probably would, too, if I knew her. But the author of this article?She'd definitely see her as a Queen Bee who isn't supportive enough of herfellow women workers.

哦,我相信你会把她看作正常的人。如果我了解她,我可能也会。但这篇文章的作者会吗?显然,作者会把她看成那种不会尽力支持自己的女同事的“社交女王”。

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