为什么在英国冷漠/不友好/反社会如此普遍？ [美国媒体]

Why is it so common to be cold/unfriendly/antisocial in the UK?

为什么在英国冷漠/不友好/反社会如此普遍？



Elin Grimes:
We're not cold/ unfriendly. I think there are two problems here:

我们并不冷漠/并非不友善。我认为这里有两个问题：

1. You live somewhere rubbish and are over-generalising about it. I'd be interested to know where it is (I live about 40 mins from London so it's possibly not far from me too).
2. You don't understand the difference between active politeness, and passive politeness. It's a failure to recognise the cultural distinctness of the UK from the US.

1.你生活在某个垃圾地区，并打击范围过广。我很想知道是在哪里（我住在距伦敦约40分钟车程的地方，所以可能离我也不远）。
2.你没搞懂主动礼貌与被动礼貌之间的区别。没有认识到英国与美国的文化差异这点很失败。

Countries like the US and for instance, Spain, practice "active politeness". It's considered polite to say hello to people around you and acknowledge them. To actively try to be helpful and friendly. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever.

像美国和西班牙这样的国家习惯于“主动礼貌”。向周围的人打招呼并向他们表示感谢被认为是很有礼貌的。试着主动对他人友好，主动施以援手。这个完全没有错。

Countries like the UK and for example, Japan, practice "passive politeness". We consider it polite to give people space, not demand their attention/ engagement, and if they want something - let them come to us in their own time. Politeness is about consideration for others without interfering with what they're doing. Nothing wrong with that
either.

像英国和日本这样的国家习惯于“被动礼貌”。我们认为给他人空间才是礼貌，而不是要求他们关注或参与，如果他们想要什么——让他们在方便的时候来找我们即可。礼貌是为他人着想，而不是干涉他们。这个也没有错。

Graham Harrison:
Not so long ago I started participating in an online forum mainly used by Americans.  Although I'm known by everyone as Graham that is actually my middle name; not a choice I made, my parents chose to call me by my middle name and it has stuck.  However, the forum rules say "first name" and I complied.  Almost the first post I made someone replied to me using a shortened form of my first name.  I don't object to someone using my first name, after all that's how the forum had been set up.  However, I would NEVER consider using a shortened version of someones name unless I first asked how they wanted to be addressed and I told him so.  He had the grace to apologise and we've been fine since.

不久之前，我开始混迹于一个主要是美国人使用的在线论坛。尽管我以格雷厄姆的名字被大家熟知，但这名字实际上是我的中间名; 这不是我的选择，我父母要叫我中间名的，并且习惯了。然而，论坛规则是要说“名”的，我遵守了。第一次发帖，我回复一个回我贴的人时就用的我“名”的缩写。我不反对叫我的“名”的人，毕竟这是论坛规则。

The point I'm making is that different cultures have different norms.  Not only that but different sub cultures vary.  About 10 years ago I moved from a town in the environs of London to a large village in Somerset.  I knew people in my old home and we would greet one another and talk if we met in the street.  Here, I almost always meet someone in the village that I know.  If I'm standing talking to someone and another person walks by introductions will occur, that probably would not have happened where I lived before.  It's a less pressured environment here.
I much prefer where I now live.  Both places are in the UK.  Make of that what you will.

我要说的是，不同的文化有不同的规范。不仅如此，而且不同的亚文化也各不相同。大约10年前，我从伦敦郊区的一个小镇搬到了萨默塞特的一个大村庄。以前的老家如果在街上，只有遇见认识的人，我们才会互相问候并且交谈。在这里，我几乎总是遇见我认识的村里的某个人。如果我站在某人面前说话，另一个人经过，就会互相介绍，这可能不会发生在我以前生活过的地方。这里的环境压力较小。
我更喜欢我现在住的地方。这两个地方都在英国。你想怎样做就怎样做。

Mike Richmond：
My guess is that you have gained that experience in London, or another large city. This is a common attitude to London, Paris, New York, Zurich or Rome.

我猜你这种经历是发生在伦敦或其他大城市，这是伦敦、巴黎、纽约、苏黎世或罗马的通病。

Where I was brought up (in deepest rural Derbyshire), it was normal to say hello to everyone you pass on the village, we walked in and out of our neighbours' (unlocked) houses, and conversations were struck up at the slightest pretext.

在我长大的地方（德比郡最偏僻的乡村地区），在村子里跟每个经过的人打招呼很正常，我们随意出入邻居家（不上锁），随便找个话题就能聊起来。

Big cities are anathema to casual sociability.

大城市很讨厌随随便便的人际交往。

The British are more reserved in general than some nationalities, but they are not unusually so for people living in a northern clime.

英国普遍比其他国家更高冷，但对于居住在北方地区的人来说这也很正常。

Christina Carè:
I don't know where you are originally from, but I guess I somewhat understand your question - I moved to London at the start of this year, and previously lived in Edinburgh. In Edinburgh I always felt as though people were quite friendly, though of course, London is very different.

我不知道你从哪儿来，但我猜我有点儿明白你的问题——我今年年初搬来伦敦，之前我生活在爱丁堡。在爱丁堡，我总感觉好像人们很友好，当然和伦敦差别很大。

I'm Australian. In Australia, we do tend to be "actively polite". I actually lived in Japan also and I think they too are more actively polite than here (in the sense that they must welcome you into a shop rather actively, they will ask you if you need help promptly, etc). Certainly, the UK is reserved in many ways, but I do think that people are genuine once you perforate that initial apparent 'coldness' (which is usually just reservedness, I think).

我是澳大利亚人，在澳大利亚我们倾向于“积极表现出有礼貌”，我其实在日本也生活过，我认为他们也在“有礼貌”这方面比这儿积极多了（比如，他们要很积极地欢迎你走进一家店铺，然后立即询问你是否需要帮助等等）。当然，英国在很多方面很高冷，但我确实认为透过最初那层看似“冷漠”（我认为那仅仅是“矜持”）的面纱你会发现人们还是很真诚的。

For me the most annoying thing is customer service. Here everyone is eager to get rid of you and not help you, not say hello or speak to you in stores/anywhere. In Australia I think we have a very good balance between being friendly and not overstepping the mark.

对我而言最受不了的是顾客的待遇。在这儿的商店或任何地方每个人都急于摆脱掉你，不愿意帮忙，不会打招呼或跟你说话。我认为在澳大利亚我们能很好地找到“友好”和“不越界”的平衡点。

But the reality is that I can't expect the UK to be like it is back home. I have to just remember that it might take more time here to get things done, or to form a relationship. I am hopeful though that when and if I do form new friendships with people here, they will be the kinds of ones that last.

但事实是我不能期待英国像我们国家一样，我只需要记住在这儿想要做事或交朋友都要花更多时间，但我还是充满希望地认为一旦我真的在这儿交到了新朋友，那一定会是天长地久的朋友。