最让你尴尬的“性时刻“ [美国媒体]

最让你尴尬的"性时刻"

What was your most embarrassing sexual moment?


Kyle Hayashi,
Me and my then girlfriend had known each other for a good while and frequently teased about having sex. It wasn’t easy to have the opportunity for it, but alas, at last we could.
After a bit of foreplay and with all clothes on the ground, it was finally the moment to have sex for the first time.
But then, I couldn’t find the hole.



You tell me, Spidey.
It was both our first times, and we had no idea (or at least I had no idea) how to insert myself in her.
I struggled with the positions, moving around to see what works. All the while she told me to go higher or lower or even tried to help me aim, I could only try poking around to no avail.
It was like trying to unlock a doorwith a carrot.
When the next ice age arrived, I finally got in! Her eyes clenched, gasped in some air, and it was the moment to enjoy this intimate time together!
Then I finished in like, twenty seconds or something.

我和我当时女友互相了解并且一直想找机会爱爱，那不容易，但是我们终于找到了
在做了一堆前戏并且把衣服都扔到地上后，我们终于到了冲刺时刻
这时，我迷茫了，接下去我特么到底要怎么做？
我们都是第一次，完全不明白该干什么。我不断调整姿势看到底怎么样是对的。她一直跟我说高点，低点和尝试帮忙，我在周围晃了半天也没找到方向。
这就像用葫芦卜去开一个锁上的门
终于，在下一个冰川期到来时，我成功了！她开始闭上眼睛喘息，我们终于到了！
然后，恩，大概持续了有20秒吧，恩~

Kyle Thomas
It was late night in the parking space for a local park, no one was around. Inside of a car were we, doing it when suddenly the heavens opened up and a bright light shone through, filling the entire car.
The police officer was kind enough to give us a few moments to replace all our clothes. He thought we were just teenagers and just kinda smirked when he checked our ages and said “the park is closed after dark.”

这是某天晚上，在本地的公园空地，周围没人，我们都在车里。突然有一束亮光把整个车照亮了
警察人很和蔼，给了我们一些时间穿上衣服。他认为我们只是孩子，检查证件的时候很亲切，并说，这个公园晚上是关门的~

Albert Speer
I was in 7th grade when my parents went to a party with their friends.
I invited a classmate (girl) at my house, in order to impress her with my vinyl collection.
The car of my parents had some problems on the road so they came back.
I remember as now that we were in 69 position, with “Alphaville - Sounds like a melody” on the background when the light turned on.
I was so excited that I did not even realize that the light did not turn on by itself. It was my classmate who stopped what we were doing and I was wondering why did she do it?
Well, my mother was in the room, very shocked, and my father was behind her trying to convince her to leave us alone to dress.
I accompanied my classmate to her house and when I came back, my parents were waiting for me to talk. My mother had only one problem: how can I be so pervert?
I told her that I saw the 69 position in some movies. “What movies?!”, she asked me. I told her very shy : “those movies that you and my father hide in living-room, in the left closet.

这是我7年级的事。我父母去参加他朋友的派对
我找了个班里的女生来家里，让她看我收集的照片
我父母的车有点问题，所以他们到半路又回来了。
我记得灯亮起的时候，我们正在69
我玩得太开心了以至于没有想到灯自己是不会亮的，当我的同学停下的时候我还奇怪为什么要停。
哦，我妈在屋里，我父亲在她后面劝他让我们自己在屋里穿上衣服。
我陪我的同学回家后，发现我父母在等我谈话。我妈只有一个问题，你怎么能那么堕落？
我告诉她我在一些小电影里看到69。什么电影？我妈问。我很害羞的说，你们才在卧室衣柜里的那些

Davinder Kumar
From New Delhi to Gurgaon in BUS.
I was regularly commuting between New Delhi and Gurgaon via bus.
One day, no, as always, the bus was very, no, horribly crowded. I by means of my “all the force with you” type of force somehow entered in the bus.
I was very lucky, no, I did not get the seat to sit, but a very beautiful girl was standing in front of me. We were sandwich between the crowds in the bus. The girl was beautiful and I had full free time to dream about my imaginary life with her.
Suddenly the girl leaned back, smiled and whispered in my ear and her words were like a molten metal in my ear.
She said “Dear, I can feel you”
I believe everybody understand the meaning of these word and what part of my human anatomy she was feeling me.

从新德里到古尔冈的公交车上
我总是做公交车在这两个地方之间通勤
一天，噢不，应该说总是，公交车很挤，不，是快挤成肉酱了。我顺着人流被推上了车。
我很幸运，不是因为我有位子坐，而是有一个非常漂亮的女孩站在我面前。我们在车里就像三明治馅一样被挤在一起。女孩太漂亮了，而我有足够的时间幻想我和她的幸福生活
突然，这女孩向后靠了一下，笑着对我耳语，她的话在我耳朵里就像融化的金属
她说，亲爱的，I can feel you(这个可以翻成我能感觉到你，然而，还是英语原文才是精髓阿！！！)
我相信每一个人都能理解她感觉到的是我的哪个部位~~

Ruchi Sharma
Phone rings…
“I'm in deep mess, can I meet you?” Said the caller.
“Cool! See ya at 3, I'll be there,” I replied.
At meet…
I see my all-time-cheerful best buddy sad. The reason I get to know is that his girlfriend was getting married to another guy who had sufficient amount of wealth and was ‘rich', as he termed him.
We talk for an hour or so, then I had to go.Seeing him on the verge of crying, I wrap my arms around him to console him.
Suddenly, I feel his prominent boner and I think … oh, no! Why is this happening…, does he…
“It doesn't work the way you thinking,” “ I'm sorry,” he replied reading my embarrassing thought, blushed.

电话铃
我很糟，能见你么？电话那头说
当然，我3点来
见面时
我那个总是充满活力的朋友非常悲伤，因为他喜欢的女孩因为钱和财富原因嫁给了另一个男人
我们谈了一个小时，然后我必须走了。看到他还在哭，我抱住他以给他安慰
突然，我感觉到了他的凸起。当时我想，噢不，这怎么会发生，他？
然而并没有发生什么。我很抱歉，他看到面露尴尬后说。

Anonymous（蒙面侠）
At 2AM, my college dorm roommate disappeared to the bathroom. He was gone for quite a long time; must have been taking a shit.
Well, that gave me a window to start jacking off. But I knew I was on the clock, and would have to be extra aggressive in the beating off to get the semen out before he was back from his dump.
So I went at it rough, making all kinds of groans, and I jizzed all over the place. I never left the bed. There was no time for Kleenex. There might have been jizz on the floor and walls.
But I got it done.
My roommate comes back to the room. He opens the door. He looks at me. I look at him. I was in the clear.
All the sudden, his girlfriend pops up in the bed!
I had jacked off like a fucking animal with his girlfriend maybe a few feet away from me in this dorm room.
She never said a word about it.

早上2点，我的室友在浴室消失了，他去了很长时间，应该是去放大了
现在，我有了一个关键的窗口时间撸一把，我射得很漂亮。我没有离开床，没有时间让我拿纸巾。白色液体应该是在墙上或者地板上。
但是，我干完了。
我室友回来了，他打开了门，看着我，我看看他，我正在清理中。
突然，他女友在床上突然出现。
我像一个发情的动物在离她女友积存的地方在这个屋里射了！
她对这个事没有说一个字。。。

Ethanjane Mcglone
Not going to write a long story, because it's simple…
My boyfriend was going down on me in the lounge room and his mum walked it, screamed, turned around & hit her head on door, then proceeded to say “I just wanted to make myself a cup of tea”

这事情很简单，不用费很多字
我和男友正在客厅啪啪啪，他妈妈进来了，尖叫，转身后头撞上了门，接着说，我只想泡杯茶

Anonymous
Twenty+ years ago, while I was a student in small city in Poland I knew a girl who liked bondage games. We were about 22, and it is not unusual in my country that young people in this age are still living with their parents. Once upon a time, while her mother went work and we were sure that she will stay there until 4 PM we met together for some bondage session. I have tied her up securely in hogtied position, with hand behind back legs tied together and with short rope between her ankles and wrists. Completely inescapable, with lots of rope work. We’d played together for a while when we heard some movement in front of the apartment and the sound of keys which is inserting into the lock - her mother came home earlier.
In panic I’ve manged to untie her ankles from wrists and wrap her from head to toes into some piece of blanket. Unfortunately all sharp tools which allowed me to free her quickly were somewhere in the kitchen.
Her mother came into the room, look at the whole situation. We’ve managed to convince her that my gf is sick and has some fever (and she’s feeling cold - that’s why she’s under blanket), and her mother seated in front of us and have a nice conversation with tea and biscuits. This embarrassing situation least for an about hour, when realised that something is strange and she finally asked her daughter to move away the blanked and she uncovered our dirty secret.

20年前，当我还在波兰的小城市的时候，我认识了一个喜欢捆绑游戏的女孩。我们都22岁，在我们国家，这个年纪还和父母住一起是很少见的。有一次，她妈妈出去工作，我们确定她会在那待到下午4点。我们就到她家做。我把她的手脚都绑好，同时用短绳子把手绑在腿后面，在他的脚踝和腰之间。不可避免的，这花了很长时间。当我们听到前门有声音的时候，我们才玩了一会，她妈妈回来早了。
匆忙中，我把她的脚踝从腰上松开，然后把她放进了毯子里。不幸的是，所有能让我快速解开她的物品都在厨房里。
她妈妈进屋，看到了这一情况。我们尝试告诉她，我女友发烧了，所以要盖很多毯子。她妈妈坐在我们面前，聊了一会，喝了茶，吃了饼干。这个尴尬的情况持续了差不多一个小时。当注意到事情并不寻常时，她让她的女儿拿开毯子，并发现了我们的秘密。

Anonymous
I started having sex around age 14. It was the thing to do (no pun intended) in my town. Unfortunately, the first two times I had sex almost turned me away from it completely in sheer embarrassment. One important thing to note is that I was a little underdeveloped at 14. I was a late bloomer. In other words, I was really small.
Here goes nothing:
The first time i had “sex” was with a girl in the back of a car while we were waiting for our carpool. We made out and grinded for a few minutes beforehand. Apparently it was enough to really get me going, as when I took it out of my pants, it started cumming almost immediately. It was so embarrassing. I cleaned up with napkins and she spent the whole time saying how I was “fine” and how it “happens to everyone.” I knew it didn’t.
To try to prove myself again, I hooked up with a chick about a month later. I made sure that my first accident didn’t happen again, but something worse did. When I inserted myself into her, she said, “Common, I’m done with foreplay baby. Put it in!”
I was broken for a good 2 years.

我开始啪啪啪是在14岁，在我的小城里。不幸的，最开始2次的尴尬经历几乎让我远离他。一个需要注意的是请示，我14岁时还有点发育不全。我发育比较晚，换句话说，我很小。
事情是这样
第一次我和一个女孩在等拼车的时候在后座里爱爱，我做了一会前戏，很显然已经足够我进入了。当我从内库里把他掏出来的时候，他迅速的变弯。这太尴尬了，在我把他弄干净的时候，她一直在安慰我没事，每个人都会发生的。我知道不是这样。
为了再次证明自己，一个月后我叫了一个小姐。我确保了第一次的事故不再发生。但是更糟的事情出现了，当我进入她的时候，她说，来啊，别再做前戏了，快进来
我两年都没缓过来。。。

Mark Roope
I will keep this short and sweet and I am sure you can fill the story in around it.
When you are a young male full of hormones why doesn’t anyone tell you that some bras are front fastening?

我尽量让这个故事短一些，你们应该可以自己脑补
当你们是一个年轻的充满荷尔蒙激素的小伙子的时候，有人告诉过你们有的内衣是前扣的么？

Robin Bailey
That's easy. On the eve of my 18th Birthday, I was hanging out with a girl for the 2nd time, and this time it was at her house. We were sitting on the living room sofa watching TV when she stood up, held out her hand and told me to come upstairs with her.
One thing led to another, and we ended up naked. Just after we ended our session, her door swings open, I grab a sheet to cover up with, and there's the girl’s very angry foster Dad. (She was a foster child.)
He’s yelling at us in the dark and tells me that I have 5 minutes to get my clothes on and get out of there. Knowing that he's waiting for me downstairs by the door, I see a tree by the girl’s window in her room, and jump onto the tree, climb down, and got out of there safely.

在我生日前夜，我和一个女孩第二次约会，这次实在她家。当她站起来的时候，我们在客厅看电视，她告诉我可以上楼。
事情一个接一格，当我们脱掉衣服后，就是在我们刚脱衣服后，她的门打开了。我抓了个床单挡住自己，女孩的养父愤怒的站在那。
他愤怒的告诉我5分钟内穿好衣服离开这里。因为知道他在楼下门口等着我，同时发现窗外有棵树，我跳上了树，爬了下去，安全离开。