【reddit】[认真的]（中国的）结婚和继承问题 [美国媒体]

jambalaya113 
I'm dating a Chinese girl (parents still live in China, and she came over for college and has been in the US since) and had two questions:

我正在和一个中国女孩谈恋爱（她父母在中国，她现在在美国读大学）并且有两个问题：

1. In Chinese culture, does the bride's family pay for the wedding or does the groom's family? Trying to understand how much I would need to save for it as my parents won't be able to contribute.

第一，在中国文化中，是新娘的家庭是为婚礼付钱还是新郎的家庭买单？我的父母不会资助我，所以我想知道我需要存多少钱才够。

2. She has brothers - in traditional Chinese culture, would she stand to inherit anything (i.e., like Americans where siblings inherit equal amounts) or do daughters get passed over and everything gets handed down to the sons?

第二，她有兄弟——在中国传统文化中，她能继承任何东西吗？（也就是说，像美国人一样兄弟姐妹继承同等数量）还是女儿会被抛弃，一切都传给儿子？

For the record, I love her dearly and want to marry her (that's why I'm thinking about these things). I know how these questions come across, but I'm the type of person who stresses about finances and planning for the future.

对于第二点，我深爱着她，想和她结婚（这就是为什么我在考虑这些事情）。我知道这些问题是可能给你们印象不大好，但我是那种强调财务和计划未来的人。


[-]dcrmGreat Britain
1.The man's family pay for everything, I have a female friend who has a rich father her brother is inheriting practically everything and her family want her to marry someone rich.
2.Maybe after her parent's have passed away (like a house or such) but if she has brothers, I guarantee you they are getting the majority of it.

第一，男人的家庭支付一切费用，我有一个女朋友，她有一个有钱的父亲，但她的弟弟几乎继承了一切，而她的家人希望她嫁给一个有钱人。
第二，也许在她父母去世后会分到一些（像一栋房子之类的），但如果她有兄弟，我向你保证他们会得到大部分遗产。

[–]utopian_hope
When you marry in Chinese culture, you don't marry the girl you marry the family. If I was you, I would be prepared for the cultural difference and know whether you can handle it before committing to getting married.

在中国文化中，一但你和一个女孩结婚，那么你不是和她一个人结婚而是和她整个家庭结婚。如果我是你，我会为文化差异做好准备，并且在结婚前估量自己是否能处理好。

[–]AONomad 
Since she's studying in the US and has siblings I assume she's from a very wealthy family-- are you in a position where you could reasonably afford a house and car prior to proposing? Or are you studying something that would lead to a successful career that would be respected by her parents? (banking, law, etc.)
RE: 2. It depends on the family. But you shouldn't be hoping or assuming you'll inherit before you're even married... If you easily stress about finance my advice would be to absolutely not marry a wealthy Chinese girl whose attitudes about money would be a constant source of anxiety in the future.

因为她在美国学习，而且有兄弟姐妹，所以我认为她来自一个非常富有的家庭——提出结婚之前你是否有能力合理地购买房子和汽车？或者你正在学习一些能让她父母尊敬的事业？（银行、法律等）
回复：2。这取决于家庭，但你不应该希望或假设你会在你结婚之前继承…如果你很容易对财务感到压力，我的建议是绝对不要嫁给一个富有的中国女孩，她对金钱的态度将成为未来焦虑的根源。

[–]jambalaya113
Yes she's from a wealthy family. Yes I have enough "brand name" prestige in my education and job that it would be "acceptable" for her family.
I ask about the wedding because despite my earning potential, I'm a pretty modest person in terms of spending. If I could do things my own, I'd have a really small, basic wedding with close friends. But I know Chinese weddings can be extravagant with huge extended families, which is fine if her family is going to cover it, but if I have to pay, I'd like to know now so I can start saving and also will probably delay the time to proposal because there are other things that make more sense to spend money on at the moment (paying down student loans for example).
On the inheritance part, I'm just curious. It seems like she does a lot for her parents and her brothers don't really do anything. Is the expectation that she will provide for them (paying for their housing when they are in the US, their healthcare when they come over once a year for all of their doctors visits, their medicine, etc.) and then that they won't give her anything in return?

是的，她来自一个富裕的家庭。是的，在我的教育和工作中，我有足够“大牌”的声望，这对她的家庭来说应该是“可以接受的”。我问有关婚礼的事，是因为尽管我有赚钱的能力，但在消费方面我是个相当节制的人。如果我能做我自己的事，我会举办一个非常小、基本上只有亲密朋友的婚礼。但是我知道中国的大家庭的婚礼是很奢侈的，如果她的家人愿意支付这笔钱，那是最好的，但是如果我要付钱的话，我现在就想知道大概要花多少钱，这样我就可以开始存钱了。 这可能会推迟结婚的时间，因为现在还有其他的更急需花钱的事情（例如偿还学生贷款）。
在继承方面，我只是好奇而已。她似乎为她的父母做了很多，而她的兄弟们却什么也不做。她会被要求帮助她的兄弟们吗？（比如当他们到美国的时候，要支付他们的住房，带他们每年去看一次医生，他们的医疗等等）然后他们不会给她任何回报？

[–]Richadg 
Just do what I did/doing. Have 2 different ceremonies. I just had my first Chinese wedding ceremony last month and going back to the states soon and will have a small wedding for family and close friends.
Don't be too worried about the cost. The traditions and process will be crazy enough.
About the cost, we broke even and we had 200+ people. People will give hongbao s galore.

你可以跟我一样。办两次结婚仪式。上个月我刚参加了中国的第一个婚礼，现在很快就要回美国了，并且还将举行一个小型的家庭和亲密朋友的婚礼。
不要太担心费用。这个结婚的传统和过程将十分疯狂。
关于费用，我们收支平衡，我们请了有200多人。宾客们会给你红包。

[–]ronnydelta 
Either you have really generous friends who gave you 1000 rmb each or you had a really cheap wedding.

要么你有非常慷慨的朋友，他们每个人会给你1000元，要么你的婚礼会非常便宜。

[–]foreignscumball9
You could throw a pretty decent shebang for 100k.

10万就可以办一个很体面的婚礼了

[–]Shishioo
lol you really want a piece of that fuerdai wealth I see. Do you have no morals or principles? Asking that question on here like it's just acceptable to be a gold digging man-whore?

哈哈，我看你是真的想分一块“富二代”的财富蛋糕吧。你的道德和原则呢？你在这问的这些问题不就像个想挖金矿的男妓吗？
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