为什么中国女孩不喜欢赞美？ [美国媒体]

-------------译者：roroho-审核者：hht288------------

Tangager 于 1 天前 发表
I read an article on a website I go to and it said that Chinese girls dislike being called meinv 美女 are shy and dislike being too direct. I'm not sure I fully agree thoughts?

我在一个网站上读过一篇文章，文章中说中国女孩不喜欢被别人叫美女，她们会害羞，而不喜欢这种太直接的叫法。我不确定我是否完全同意这种想法?



We all know those girls who have a hard time taking a compliment. Well in China there are lots of girls who don’t like to be called a “美女 (měinǚ) beauty.”
美女 (měinǚ): n. beautiful woman; beauty.

我们都知道有些女孩子通常很难接受别人的称赞。然而，在中国有很多女孩不喜欢被别人叫“美女”。
美女(měinǚ)：名词，漂亮的女人；美人。

But why? 

但是为什么呢？

In recent years the appellation “美女 (měinǚ)” has been used overly by people in China. Before its overuse we would use “美女 (měinǚ)” to refer to a beautiful girl. But nowadays whether beautiful or not people use “美女 (měinǚ)” to call all young women in China.

近年来，在中国“美女”的称谓已经被人们过度使用了。在此之前，我们会用“美女”来称呼一个漂亮的女孩子。但是现如今在中国，不管漂亮不漂亮，大家都用“美女”来称呼所有的年轻女性。

In general people in China use this word to express respect affection endearment or to flatter the woman.

一般来讲，中国人是用这个词来表达对女性的尊重、喜爱、钟爱或奉承。

It has ended up that this word has accumulated so many different meanings it is used a LOT. I joke all the time with my friends and students: In China all women are a “美女 (měinǚ) beauty”. This is where women in China get a little frustrated: If all women are considered beautiful then does that word really have any meaning? Is there any real measurement of beauty? To us it feels as if there is no real beauty at all.

最终这个单词蕴含了很多层不同的意思，它被过度使用了。我还经常跟我的朋友和学生开玩笑说：在中国，所有的女人都是“美女”。这就使中国女性感到有点沮丧：如果所有的女人都被认为是漂亮的，那么这个词还有什么意义呢？还有没有真正衡量美丽的词呢？对我们来说，感觉就好像没有真正意义上的美女了。

So you can understand why girls don’t like people to call them “美女 (měinǚ).”

所以你可以理解为什么女生都不喜欢别人叫她们“美女”了吧。

◆    Don’t Be Surprised If We Brush Off Your Compliments

◆ 不要惊讶，如果我们不搭理你的恭维

In traditional Chinese culture there is an old saying that goes something like this:“Arrogant people always fall behind the modest ones.”

在中国传统文化中，有句古话是这样说的：“谦虚使人进步，骄傲使人落后。”

In Chinese culture people aspire to be modest when responding to praise and regard modesty as an essential virtue.
More often than saying “thank you” to a compliment the Chinese often timidly deny or doubt the praise to the praiser.

在中国文化中，谦虚被视为是一种基本美德，人们在回应赞美时要尽量谦虚。中国人对别人的赞美，通常要羞怯地予以否认或怀疑，而不只是说声“谢谢”。

-------------译者：roroho-审核者：hht288------------

A Common Response to Compliments in China.

在中国人对赞美的普遍回应。

A common response to compliments is this: “哪里哪里 You flatter me (I’m not beautiful)!” (Literally “哪里哪里 (Năli năli)” means “where where” But in fact the contextual meaning is “you flatter me.” It is just a way of expressing modesty.)
People also answer with “真的吗？ (Zhēn de ma) Really?”

通常对赞美的回应是这样的：“哪里哪里，您过誉了（我不漂亮）！”（“哪里哪里“的字面意思是”where where（哪里哪里）“，但实际的语境意义是“您过奖了“。这只是一种表达谦虚的方式。)
也有人这样回应：“真的吗？”

◆    Be Careful! If Your Compliments Are Too Direct We May Think They Are Lies!

◆ 小心！如果你的赞美过于直接的话，那么可能会被认为是假话！

Most Chinese girls give off a vibe that is shy and restrained. They tend to not give compliments especially men in any direct or open-hearted way. Vice versa they get nervous when receiving exaggerated or direct compliments such as “你好漂亮 (nǐ hǎo piàoliàng) you are so beautiful!” or “你真美 (nǐ zhēn měi) you are very pretty!”

大多数中国女孩都有一种害羞和矜持的气质。她们往往不赞美别人，尤其是对男性不论是直接或开放的方式。反之亦然，当听到夸大的或直接的赞美时她们会感到紧张，比如“你好漂亮！(nǐ hǎo piàoliàng) 你是如此美丽！”或者“你真美(nǐzhēn měi)你很漂亮！”

Its simplicity puts them on guard. Perhaps this man is speaking this way with all women! As proof of the uniqueness of the compliment they look for details. Give examples to show her you have thought this through and are being entirely honest：

这通常会使她们警觉。也许这个男人对所有女人都这样说话！为了证明这赞美独一无二（只是对她一人），她们还需要你说明（是哪里漂亮的）细节。向她证明你有想过这个问题而且说的完全是真话，举例说明下：

Nǐ xiào qǐ lái de shíhòu yǎnjīng xiàng wānwān de yuèyá. Zhēn hǎokàn! 

你 笑  起 来 的  时候， 眼睛     像      弯弯      的  月牙。 真    好看！

Your eyes look like the crooked crescent when you smile. So lovely!

你笑起来的时候， 眼睛像弯弯的月牙。 真好看！

In general Chinese women feel shy if you compliment them directly. If you directly address their way of dressing or their body (lips face nose etc.) they will start to feel uncomfortable. So take the time to get to know them and think your compliments through!

一般来说，如果你直接赞美中国女性，她们会感到害羞。如果你直接赞美她们的穿衣方式或她们的身形（嘴唇、脸、鼻子等），她们就会开始感到不舒服。所以花点时间去了解她们，让她们相信你的赞美!


-------------译者：roroho-审核者：hht288------------

–]HaggisDumplings 
The point about "meinv" becoming almost meaningless is pretty true I think. "Xiaojie" kind of fell out of use in some areas because of the double meaning.
However anything that attempts to stereotype "all" Chinese people as one thing or another is bollocks.

我认为，关于“美女”变得几乎毫无意义的观点是很正确的。“小姐”由于其双重含义，在有些地方也不怎么用了。
然而，任何试图把“所有”中国人都定型为是一样的基本就是胡扯。

People generally like compliments but there are limits. Just don't be a creepy fuck about it and it'll be fine.
Also nice translation job by that website:

人通常都是喜欢赞美的，但这也有限度。只要让人听起来不是太毛骨悚然不舒服就没事。
还有就是那个网站对这句的翻译很不错：

Your eyes look like the crooked crescent when you smile. So lovely!

你笑起来的时候， 眼睛像弯弯的月牙。 真好看！

[–]OctopusPoo 
While in the west it's kinda weird to say to some girl "hey beautiful". In China it's not as weird but modesty is considered an important virtue so theyre going to say "no I'm not beautiful" because it's polite though that should be distinguished from a cultural faux pas. On a side note a Chinese girl told me that while it's standard enough for a Chinese dude to say "ni hao mei nu" if a foreigner says it it sounds more flirtatious. Idk I guess they just have the perception that foreign guys are more lascivious.

在西方，对某个女孩说“嘿，美女”是有点奇怪。在中国这并不奇怪，但谦逊被看作是一种重要的美德，所以她们会说“不，我不漂亮”，因为这是礼仪，应该与文化上的失礼区别开来。还有一点，有个中国女孩告诉我，如果是一个中国男人说“你好，美女”，这是标准的（用法），如果是一个外国人说这话，那么听起来就会显得更轻浮。我不太晓得为什么，我猜可能只是她们觉得外国人更轻浮好色。

[–]PATGUIScotland 
LMBO. False modesty that's apparent to anyone.

笑死我了。大家很显而易见看出那只是虚假的谦虚。
（译者注：LMBO=Laughing my butt off.）

[–]OctopusPoo  
Oh yea I know it's all face really

哦，是的，我知道这都是面子问题（场面话），真的。

 -------------译者：roroho-审核者：hht288------------

[–]BillyBattsShinebox 
Girls here do like compliments though as long as you're not acting like a creepy sex pest. Also people all around the world tend to brush off compliments because it's a sign of being modest.

其实只要你不表现得像个令人毛骨悚然的色鬼，这里的女孩挺喜欢被别人夸的。而且，世界各地的人们都倾向于不接受赞美，因为这是谦虚的表现。

[–]h254052656Scotland  
meinu is a lazy compliment just like calling someone beautiful is mostly lazy in english

美女就是一种偷懒敷衍的赞美方式，就像用英语“beautiful”称呼某人漂亮一样。

[–]relax_and_breath 
My wife begs to differ.

恕我老婆就不认同这种说法。

[–]metalgearexMacau 
as does my girl. if I don't compliment here enough she thinks I'm cheating on her. and beats the shit out of me.

我女朋友也一样。如果我不常常称赞她，她就会认为我对她不忠，然后把我打得屁滚尿流。

[–]relax_and_breath
Kinky last bit there. Sounds like a keeper.

后面那句有点变态。听起来她是个你可以长相厮守的人。

[–]ipostwatches
eh when I do it they either act normal or find it funny that the foreigner knows some Chinese culture.
"Your eyes look like the crooked crescent when you smile." This sounds like something some weird race fetishist would say.

嗯，当我这样做的时候，她们要么表现得很正常，要么觉得很有趣，因为我这个老外竟然还懂点中国文化。
”你笑起来的时候， 眼睛像弯弯的月牙。”这听起来就像是那些奇怪的种族恋物癖者才会说的话。

[–]bootpalish 
Crooked crescented eyes do look very 可爱 though.

但是，眼睛像弯弯的月牙确实非常可爱。

[–]mellowmonkUnited States
"I complimented her like five times and she still won't have sex with me!"

“我赞美了她差不多五次，她还是不愿和我发生性关系！”

[–]aghicantthinkofaname 
only if you are ugly and poor

除非你又丑又穷。

 -------------译者：roroho-审核者：hht288------------

[–]supreme-n00b 
I’m a little rusty because I’ve been with my wife ten+ years but from what I remember and see on the streets now Chinese women seem to like the corniest romance approaches in the book I.e dude with terrible haircut waiting two hours for her at her subway station with exactly 12 red roses —if there is rain and he’s caught a cold that’s bonus romance points. Or shit that makes her look wanted in front of her friends like the dude sends exactly twelve red roses to her in the office.

我（赞美人的技巧）有点生疏了，因为我跟我老婆在一起已经超过十年了，但在我的记忆里，现在街上那些中国女孩似乎喜欢书中那些最老套的浪漫故事（套路）。比如，我有个头发乱糟糟的哥们，在地铁站里等了她两个小时，手里捧着正好12朵红玫瑰——如果下着雨他还因此感冒了，那就更加浪漫了。或者更扯的是她们喜欢男人当着她朋友的表达他的爱意，这会让她更有面子，像那哥们就送恰好12朵玫瑰到她的办公室去。

Any out of the box approach that doesn’t fit the exact cookie cutter opinion of romance in China is just wasted energy. For the love of god don’t buy non red roses and don’t buy anything except multiples of twelve.

任何一点不符合中国式浪漫的做法，都是浪费精力。看在上帝的份上行行好，千万别买不是红玫瑰的玫瑰花，花的数量一定要买12的倍数。

[–]Suavecake12 
Depends who you are and how you use the line. If you're a 亮仔and everyone is throwing around the terms 美女，帅哥。No one is going to bat an eyelash.
I met one lady from WuHan who didn't like the term because like the OP article the term was over used. She was very attractive so I guess she wanted guys to at least make an effort to try and compliment her.

这取决于你是谁以及你如何拿捏（使用赞美词）。如果你是一个亮仔，周围的人都会喊你“帅哥/美女”，没人会眨一下眼睛看一眼的。我就遇到一个来自武汉的女士，她不喜欢这个词，因为就像那篇文章里说的，这个词已经被用滥了。她很有魅力，所以我猜她想要男人们至少做出点努力去赞美她。

So to answer the OP question if you're a Han speaking mandarin at a native level 美女 isn't much of a compliment any more. You must up your game.
If you're a foreigner that speaks mandarin at English Teacher FOB level you might be able get away with it since 美女 will understand you have a limited vocabulary.

那么回答文章里提到的问题，如果你是汉族人，普通话说得很地道，美女就不再是种赞美词了。你还得搞点其他花样。如果你是个老外，学的普通话都还给老师了，你用这个词可能会侥幸有用，因为美女会明白你就只能讲几个汉语词。

[–]asz19971118 
Many teenagers have gotten the traditional culture from their parent .

许多年轻人都是从父母那里学到的传统文化。