因自动更正你面对过的最尴尬的时刻是？ [美国媒体]

-------------译者：龙腾翻译总管-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

What embarrassing moment did you have to face because of auto-correct?

因自动更正你面对过的最尴尬的时刻是？

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：翻译加工厂 转载请注明出处

-------------译者：谈笑风扔-审核者：hht288------------

Kasturi Sanap Corrects autocorrect often than autocorrect corrects me! upxed Feb 10 2016
This happened 2 years back when I had just joined an organisation.

这事发生在两年前，那时我刚进入一家公司。

My grumpy boss called me and I was unable to receive his call. I tried to ring him back but he was busy then. So I decided to text him in case he had some important work with me. My autocorrect was ON. 

我暴躁的老板打电话给我，但是我没接到他的电话。我试着回打给他但是他当时很忙。于是我决定给他发条信息以免他有重要的事情需要我做。当时我的自动纠错功能是开着的！

I typed "Sir just got a miscall from you. Call me back"

我输入：“先生，刚有一个你的未接来电，请再打给我哦！”

Now my mobile so desperately wanted to correct me that it sent "Sir just got a miscarriage from you. Call me back!"

而我的手机是如此拼命地想要纠正我，于是它发送了“先生，刚因为你而流了次产，请再打给我哦！”

Sent! Message delivered successfully....!!! 
He almost got a mini heartattack after reading my msg. Got his call within the next 2 seconds. I apologised and blamed autocorrect for the mistake. I don't think I was ever embarrassed so much in my life. :P

发出去了！那条信息成功发送出去了！
他读了我的信息后差点心脏病发作。2秒不到他就打来了电话。我道了歉，然后将错误怪在自动纠正功能上。我这辈子就没这么尴尬过。:P
（译注：miscall被自动纠正成miscarriage，该网友名字旁的个人简介：我纠正自动纠正的次数比自动纠正纠正我的频繁多了！）

Sanjay Krishna Feb 2 2016
what if he was at home and his wife read it... rofl

如果他在家然后他老婆还看到了.....笑死我啦
（rofl=rolling on the floor laughing：笑得在地上打滚）

Samar Rehman Patel works at Rio Tinto Group Answered Jul 5 2014
I was messaging a female friend of mine.
I mistyped something like "How are you busyt girl?" as y and t are so close.
What she received autocorrected was "How are you busty girl?".
Most. Embarrassing. Moment. Ever.

我当时正给我的一个女性朋友发信息。
我把信息错打成了：“最近怎么样啊，大忙妹子（busyt girl）？”，因为字母y和t挨得太近了。
她收到的被自动纠正过的信息是：“最近怎么样啊，大胸妹子（busty girl）？”
有。史。以。来。最。尴。尬。

Sumit Sharma Walking through! upxed Feb 29 2016
I was chatting with a friend of mine. She owed me some 800 rupees and was asking the means to return the sum; cash/account transfer. 

我当时和我一朋友在聊天。她大约欠我800卢比，问我是想要现金还是转账归还。

I suggested her to gift me something instead with that amount that I've been meaning to have for a long time. She said that it was fine by her and asked me what I wanted.

我建议她送我个我一直想要的礼物来抵销欠的钱。她说没问题然后问我想要什么。

I said(I typed) “I need a mouth orgasm!”

我说（输入）“我想要个口交（译：mouth orgasm，字面意思是用嘴帮人达到高潮）”

Terrified I quickly corrected (almost shouting) organ organ … I need a mouth organ.

我给吓懵了，连忙纠正道（差点要喊出来了）口琴，口琴......我想要个口琴。（译：mouth organ：口琴）
http://www.ebay.in/itm/Hohner-Ha...
（并附上了商品网址）

Should have typed Harmonica! 

早知道打Harmonica就好了！（译：harmonica=mouth organ：口琴）

“And that is why I don’t use auto-correct or swipe for typing” was her reply after a maddening laugh! Such a sport!

她在狂笑后这么回我“这就是我不用自动纠正和用滑动手势输入文字的原因。”真是我有风度的好朋友啊！
（译注：“Be a (good) sport”引申自"有运动家风度"。用来劝人要有雅量。）

And yes she did gift me one! :)

是的，她最后确实送了我一个口琴！:)



-------------译者：zmx_cici-审核者：hht288------------

Ananthu R Krishnan Reader by Passion Engineer by Profession upxed Aug 1
My mother was working in a private school as a temporary dance teacher. After 5 years they made her permanent.

我的母亲是一名临时舞蹈老师，任教于一所私立学校。五年之后，他们给她转正了。

Out of her happiness she immediately called me and my brother to inform the same. I was able to attend her call and congratulated her. But my brother was unable to answer her call as he was busy with something else. So my mother told me to get this news to him as fast as I can. I tried him but he didnt pick up.

她非常高兴，马上给我和我弟打电话告知我们这件事情。我当时有空就接了电话并祝贺了我妈妈。但是我弟忙于其他事就没接电话。所以我妈叫我尽快把这个消息告诉他。我一直打他电话但是他都没接。

So I texted him :

所以我给他发了条短信：

"Da Amma got permanent". 

“老弟，Amma终于转正成为长期雇员了。”

(Amma means mother in Malayalam)

（Amma在马拉雅拉姆语中表示母亲）

This is what he recieved :" Da Amma got pregnant".

然而他收到的信息内容却是：“老弟，Amma怀孕了。”

（permanent被自动纠正成pregnant）
And guess what when he came back and took his phone he saw 5 missed calls from Mother 3 from Me and this message. He was like WTH. He immediately called my mother and asked if what I said was true. She thought that I had told him about the news and she in her happy tone replied "Yes. Its true". My brother was now shocked further as he thought I was just joking. And adding to the above my mother told him "I have been working hard for 5 years for this and now God has granted me my wish." He was now shocked to hell and was like "Mother Are you serious ?". Now my mother understood that something was wrong somewhere and she asked him What did your brother tell you. On hearing about my message she laughed like anything. On getting it my brother also laughed a lot.

你们猜怎么着，当他忙完后看手机的时候，发现有5个老妈的未接电话、3个我的未接电话和那条短信。他炸了，马上回拨给老妈然后问她我说的事情是不是真的。她以为我给他发的是她转正的消息，就以愉快的口吻回答道：“是的，是真的。”然后我弟他就更吃惊了，他以为我只是在开玩笑。我老妈接着和他说：“我为此努力工作了5年，现在老天爷终于让我得偿所愿。”他简直惊呆了，说：“妈，你说真的啊？”然后我妈意识到哪里有点不对劲，就问我弟我到底跟他说了些什么。在听到我短信的内容时，我妈笑了。明白怎么回事后我弟也笑了。

Now each time I call my brother he will tell me "Dont text brother. I cant laugh anymore". Screw you autocorrect.

现在每次我给我弟打电话的时候，我弟他都会说“老哥，不要给我发短信。我不能再笑了。”自动更正去你的！

PS: This happened about one month back and I was 21 and my brother was 18 at that time.

PS: 这件事发生在一个月之前，那时我21岁，我弟18岁。

I want to add one more incident here. This happened when I was in college. I used to quarrel with my sister over some silly things. I loved doing that and she at first will fight but later on will cool down and will give up.

在这我还想再分享一个小插曲。这事发生在我大学期间。我过去常常因为一些蠢事和我姐争吵。我乐于做这个事，她一开始会和我争，后面她会平静下来然后放弃和我吵了。

Once we quarreled and in order to solve the same my sister texted me:

一旦我们发生口角了，为了和好如初，我姐会给我发短信：

"Anandhutta u r very important. Sorry da".

“Ananshutta，你对我很重要。对不起啊。”

(Anandhutta is my pet name she and my friends used to call me).

（Anandhutta 是我的昵称，她和我的朋友过去常常这样叫我）

And this is what I got "Anandhutta u r very impotent. Sorry da".

然而我收到的短信是："Anandhutta，你个阳痿。对不起啊。"

（ important被自动纠正成impotent）
And you can guess what happened afterwards na.

你应该能想到之后我们会发生什么事了。

-------------译者：营养快线-审核者：roroho------------

Tapish Jain Autocorrect never understand my feelings :P Answered Feb 21 2016
This happened with me when I was texting my crush for the first time. My cellphone number was not known to her. We had a common friend and I met her at his birthday party. I was going to text her this - "Hi! I am Tapish and It was really great to meet you at the party tonight. We should hangout more!"

这发生在我第一次给我喜欢的人发短信的时候。她不知道我的手机号码。我们有一个共同的朋友，我在他的生日聚会上遇见了她。我想发给她的是——“嗨！我是Tapish，很高兴在今晚的派对上见到你。我们应该多聚聚！”

Instead it got autocorrected and the message delivered was "Hi! I am Rapist and it was really great to meet you at the party tonight. We should hangout more!"

然而被自动校正后，发送过去的信息是:“嗨！我是强奸犯，很高兴在今晚的派对上见到你。我们应该多聚聚！”

Autocorrect is off in my phone since that day. ;)

从那天起我就关了手机的自动纠正功能。;)

Edit-
Many of you asked me what happened next well she immediately sent our common friend this text and everybody pulled my leg for almost a month. :D 

另注：很多人问我接下来发生了什么，好吧，她马上给我们共同的朋友发了这条短信，接下来大概一个月内大家都拿这开我玩笑。:D

And for the text she jokingly replied to me "Stay Away from me tharki (pervert)". :D

而对于这条信息，她开玩笑般地如此回我，“离我远点，tharki(变态)。”:D

Sameer Gupta Curious Soul Traveller and Believer. upxed Jul 29 2016
Was writing a certain Mr. Mrinal for a sponsorship for an event it ended up getting autocorrected to

为了一个活动赞助写信给Mrinal先生，最后被自动校正成：
"
Hello Mr. Urinal
I would like to introduce you to...... "

你好，尿壶先生，
我想把你介绍给……
（Mrinal被自动纠正成Urinal）

...Needless to say i never heard back from him.

…不用说，我从来没有收到过他的回信。

Aishwarya Chandrashekhar I can dance on a Varnam now I'm learning to sing them! upxed Jan 31 2017
It was the day before my birthday and I slept off early that night and missed a lot of late night birthday calls and texts. I broadcasted this on WhatsApp to about a bajillion people: 

那天是我生日的前一天，那天晚上我睡得很早，错过了很多深夜打来的生日祝福电话和发来的短信。我在WhatsApp上把这句话发给了数不清的人:

"Sorry guys I missed all your balls and massages :("

“对不起，伙计们，我想你们的蛋蛋和给我做的按摩了。:(”

Worst birthday ever.

史上最糟糕的生日。

Edit:
A lot of people have pointed out that it was a typo not autocorrect but the thing is autocorrect corrects the word after we use a space character. I was using the 3x3 keypad with XT9 on. B and C have the same button which is why I missed balls instead.

另注：很多人都指出这是因为拼写错误，不是自动纠正的错；但是在我们输入空格字符后，自动纠正会更正这个词。我当时用的是XT9（一种输入法）的3x3（九宫格）键盘。B和C在同一个按键上，这就是为什么最后变成“我想念蛋蛋”的原因了。

（译注：ball→call，massage→message；网友本来是想打：Sorry guys I missed all your calls and messages :(对不起，伙计们，我错过了你们所有人的来电和短信。）

-------------译者：营养快线-审核者：roroho------------

Sharmila A Social Compliance Auditor Answered Jan 30 2016
For some reason my phone is convinced that I eat children. 

因为某种未知原因，我的手机深信我是吃小孩的。

Brother: Akka what you had for dinner?
Me: Grill children. 
Brother: WTF! 
Me: Grill chicken da.

哥哥：Akka，你晚餐吃了啥?
我：烤孩子肉。
哥哥：卧槽什么鬼！
我：是烤鸡啦。

Dad: So what's special today?
Me: Noodles and Children 65.
Dad: What!?!?! You Cannibal.

爸爸:那今天有什么特别的菜啊？
我：面条和六十五个孩子。
爸爸:什么! ? ! ? !你个“食人魔”。

I don't practice cannibalism though.

尽管我从没吃过人肉。

（译注：chicken被自动纠正成children。chicken 65——65鸡，是一道着名的印度菜。它在非素食餐点中非常实用，既可作为小吃，也可作为配菜。该叫法的由来有很多说法：最出名的说法是这个食谱要花65天的时间来准备；另一种说法是因为这个食谱是1965年创造的；还有一个说法这是1965年打战的时候印度士兵发明的一个简便食物；还有说这个食谱原来是兵营里食堂餐牌第65号的菜肴，因为很美味可口，所以大家点菜的时候就点chicken No.65，久而久之，就成了Chicken 65）

Surya Vasisht Jan 31 2016 
Wife: What's special for tonight?
Husband:I have made children on my own.
Divorced

妻子：今晚有什么特别的菜吗?
丈夫：我靠自己做了孩子肉这道菜。
最后二人离婚。

Damn Autorickshaw.:P

该死的三轮机车。:P

Priyanka Chatterjee works at Subex Answered Jan 28 2016
I was texting a friend's boyfriend about a surprise birthday party for her.

我当时就一个朋友的惊喜生日派对跟其男朋友发短信。

There is this Indian snack dish called Sev chat(It is not the usual talking/typing word Chat a in the word is pronounced as in artificial) which I wanted to be on the menu for the party.

有一种叫做Sev chat的印度小吃(a这个字母的发音不是我们通常聊天/打字时用的chat这个单词中a的发音，在这里a的发音就跟artificial这个单词里a的发音一样。)，我想在派对的菜单中准备这道小吃。

Below is the pic of Sev Chat for reference:

以下是Sev Chat的图片，供参考:



Me: How about we have some Sev Chat for starters

我：我们用Sev Chat作为开胃菜怎么样？

Auto correct: How about we have some Sex Chat for starters

被自动纠正后：我们先来点黄色情话暖暖场怎么样？

Worst part is I did not realize the blunder till he pointed it out:

最糟糕的是，直到他指出来，我才意识到这个错误：

Him: You did not mean it right?

他：你真正想说的不是这种意思吧？

*Embarrassed*

*尴尬*
（sev被自动纠正成sex）

Surendiren Venkataramani Jan 28 2016
Poor guy might be wondering if you are putting him through some kind of loyalty test :-P

这个可怜的家伙可能会想，你是不是在给他做某种忠诚测试:-P。

Abhishek Mundra www.abhishekmundra.com upxed Apr 22 2016
Gf: awww i miss you too!

女朋友：哦，我也想你！

Bf: don't think i'm weird but i am sleeping with that shit you left in the bathroom :)

男朋友：别说我很古怪，但我现在（抱着）你留在浴室里的那坨大便睡觉。

Gf: what??!??

女朋友：你说啥？？！？？

Bf: yea it smells like you and it makes me feel better when you're not here!

男朋友：是的，它闻起来像你，你不在的时候（闻着它）让我感觉好多了!

Gf: if you're trying to be cute or funny its not working

女朋友：你如果是在卖萌装可爱或者是在搞笑的话，那这没什么用。

Bf: ohhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyy godddddddd
*****SHIRTS

男朋友：天天天了了了了了了噜噜噜噜啊啊啊啊啊！！我说的是衬衫啊！！
（shirt被自动纠正成shit）

someone kill me!

杀了我吧！

-------------译者：营养快线-审核者：qiuchenghao------------

Gaurang Athalye Aspiring poet. Answered May 9 2016
This happened yesterday.

这事发生在昨天。

I had my Engineering Chemistry exam today. So I was preparing for it yesterday night. I was revising this topic called 'Vulcanisation Of Rubber' when a female friend of mine messaged me on WhatsApp.Let'call her X. This was the conversation which ensued.

我今天有场工程化学的科目考试。所以昨天晚上我在备考。当我的一位女性朋友在WhatsApp上给我发信息时，我当时正在复习“橡胶硫化”的内容。让我们称她为X，这是我们俩随后的对话内容。

X : Chemistry is so damn boring.

X:化学真他妈太无聊了。

Me: You brozoned someone in your last birth. Chemistry is your punishment. xP

我:因为前世你明知道有个人喜欢你，却还跟他称兄道弟只当他是好朋友好兄弟（玩弄了他的感情）。所以化学是对你的惩罚。xP

X : Were you the guy? :P

X：你是那个人吗？:P

Me : Certainly not. I must have rejected you. So this is my punishment.

我：当然不是。我一定是拒绝了你。所以这就是我的惩罚。

X : You so mean buddy. :3

X：朋友，你嘴可真毒。:3

Me : Which topic BTW?

我：顺便问一下，（你复习到）什么内容了？

X : Corrosion science. What are you upto?

X：腐蚀科学这块。你（复习）到哪儿了？

Me : I got fed up of Water technology and started masturbating instead.

我：我受够水利工学了，所以开始自慰了。

*Awkward silence for 10 seconds.*

*10秒钟的尴尬无言。*

Me : Mastication**                                                           
Vulcanisation second part. Stupid Autocorrect -_-

我：捏炼素炼...橡胶（硫化）单元的第二节。愚蠢的自动更正-_-

X : Hahah XD XD

X：哈哈，XDXD。

X : Looks like Chemistry can make someone horny. xP

X:看来化学会使某些人变得淫荡起来。xP

Embarrassing would be an understatement.
Screenshots. So that you can relish the feel of it.

用尴尬来形容真是太轻描淡写了。
这是对话内容的截图。这样你就能切实感受到这其中的滋味了。
（Mastication被自动纠正成masturbating）





Ananya R B works at Bengaluru Karnataka India upxed Jul 19 2016
I was once at my elder brother's flat. He is married.

我有次去我哥哥的公寓。他是已婚人士。

He gave me the password to his Modem’s connection and left home to bring some eatables. My phone was not able to connect to his network. So i sent him these messages.

他给了我连接他调制解调器的密码，然后出门买些吃的东西回来。我的手机没法连到他的网络。所以我给他发了如下这些信息。

Me: Bro Your wife is not working. You have a habit of keeping wretched stuff at home.
Bro: What do you mean ??
Me: What i mean is lets throw the old stuff out and get a new one.
Bro: Very funny (in a sarcastic manner)
Me: What funny? Shall i look a new one for you online?
Bro: You just wait i will get there and give you two slaps across your face.

我：老哥，你妻子不能用了。你有一种把垃圾东西放家里的坏习惯。
哥：你什么意思啊？？
我：我的意思是你应该把破旧的东西扔掉，换一个新的。
哥：很搞笑(以讽刺的方式)（注：你以为你说的很好笑吗？）
我：什么东西很搞笑？要不要我在网上给你找个新的？
哥：你给我等着，我这就回去给你两耳光。

Then i read it backwards and got it. Bro was really angry.

然后我翻回聊天记录重看了遍，终于明白（我哥为什么那么说了）。老哥真的很生气。

So Later when my brother got home I hid behind my brother's wife and let her do the explaining in order to get saved.
所以后面当我哥回到家时，为了避免被打，我只好躲在我嫂子后面，让她跟哥解释(清楚）。