推文告诉你恋爱约会和步入婚姻的区别 [美国媒体]

-------------译者：C先生-审核者：hht288------------



Early on in a relationship both partners put their best foot forward showing off the most pleasant polished versions of themselves.

在一段恋爱的早期阶段，双方都会将自己最好的一面展现出来，向对方展示出最令人愉悦、最优雅的自己。

Then time passes they grow more and more comfortable with each other eventually get married and things well they change.

随着时间的流逝，他们（彼此间的相处）变得越来越舒适，最终结婚了，然后一切都变了。

Below we’ve gathered 17 tweets that hilariously highlight the difference between dating and marriage. 

下面，我们总汇了17条推文，这些推文生动幽默地呈现出恋爱约会和步入婚姻二者之间的区别。

1.How people walk when they’re:
DATING *holding hands*
ENGAGED *arms locked*
MARRIED *one person is 5 feet in front of the other and yelling back at them for parking so far away*

1.人们在不同阶段时是怎么走路的？
恋爱约会时：手牵着手
订婚时：紧紧锁住对方的手臂
步入婚姻：一个人走在另一个人前5英尺处，然后对离自己太远的对方大喊大叫。

2.
dating: its cute that you dont eat all the chicken off a wing
marriage: there’s like $1.75 worth of chicken left on those bones meghan

恋爱约会：你没吃干净鸡翅上的肉是可爱的。
步入婚姻：梅根，你骨头上没吃净剩下的鸡肉大概值1.75美元。

3.
10 days into dating: [hides every imperfection]
10 years into marriage: "Look at this zit brewing!" "The one on my back puts that to SHAME."

恋爱约会10天：(隐藏自己身上的每一处瑕疵)
步入婚姻10年：“看看（我）这颗正在酝酿即将喷发的青春痘！”“跟我背上的那颗痘比起来简直是小巫见大巫。”

4.
Texting my wife when we were dating - What are you wearing?
Texting my wife now - Did the dog poop?

约会阶段时我会给妻子发这样的短信——你（现在）穿的是什么?
现在我给妻子发的短信是这样的——咱家狗大便过了吗？

5.
When you're dating you message your partner about sex & fun date ideas. When you're married it's about breakfast cereal iron content.

当你在约会的时候，你会发消息告诉你的伴侣关于性和有趣的约会想法。当你结婚的时候，发的信息是早餐麦片（有多少）铁含量的。

6.
When we were dating my husband crafted a multi-CD playlist for my "Day the Music Died" party now I get excited if he texts me back "sure.

当我们在约会的时候，我的丈夫为我的“音乐死去之日”派对精心制作了一个双面光盘播放列表，现在只要他回复我“当然（可以）”我就会很兴奋。

7.
Crush: I hope he notices me
Dating: I hope he notices my new dress
Married: DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THE HAIR ALL OVER THE BATHROOM?

迷恋期：我希望他能注意到我。
恋爱约会：我希望他能注意我（穿了）新裙子。
步入婚姻：难道没人注意到浴室里满地头发吗?

8.
If you're dating and get an "I love you" text for no reason it's endearing.
If you're married you wonder why he has a guilty conscience.

如果是约会阶段，不需要什么理由你就会收到“我爱你”的短信，这很讨人喜欢。
如果你结婚了，你会纳闷他是不是内心有愧才这么做。

 -------------译者：龙腾翻译总管-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

9.
2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough.
2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!

恋爱约会第2个月：和你在一起千年的时间我都嫌不够。
步入婚姻第2个月：天哪，你是地球上咀嚼麦片声音最吵的人类！

10.
TEXTS WHILE DATING: can't wait to see you later i bought cute new panties
TEXTS WHILE MARRIED: omg there's this sweaty ass smell in the kitchen and I don't know what it is thoughts?

恋爱约会时会这么发短信：迫不及待想见到你了，我新买了些可爱的小裤裤哦。
步入婚姻后会这么发短信：我的天啊，厨房里有股汗臭味，我不知道这是谁整的，对此你有啥想说的吗？

11.
Friday nights...
Single: I'm going to the bar!
Dating: Wanna go to the bar?
Married: Can I go to the bar?
Married w/ Kids: Pottery Barn?

周五晚上……
单身时：今晚我要去酒吧嗨！
约会时：今晚想一起去酒吧玩吗?
已婚时：今晚我可以去酒吧玩吗?
已婚有孩子时：去陶瓷谷仓(买家具)吗?

12.
Dating: I could never stay mad at you.
Marriage: It's been 3 weeks and we still aren't speaking over a fight about a laundry basket.

恋爱约会：我永远不会生你的气。
步入婚姻：为了洗衣篮（问题）吵架，我们已经3个星期没说话了。

13.
When dating: It's so cute how you never knows where your keys are!
After marriage: The key hook is right HERE. Use it. You're killing me.

恋爱约会时：你总是不知道自己的钥匙在哪，你真可爱！
步入婚姻后：放钥匙的挂钩就在这里。好好用它。你蠢得让我想死的心都有了。

14.
Remember when he used to hold it in when you were dating but now that you're married he just answers with a fart?

还记得在你们约会的时候他会（把屁）憋住，但现在你们结婚了，他会放个屁来回答你？

15.
Massage when you begin dating: Sensual with lotion for an hour
Married massage: 1 hand mostly knuckles during commercials on your birthday

当你开始约会的时候，用护肤液为你情色身体按摩整整一个小时。
已婚时的按摩则是，在你生日那天，在广告时一只手老是在打响指。

16.
Dating sex: dinner compliments attentive conversation foreplay 
Married sex: "When I'm outta the bathroom let's get naked."

恋爱约会时的性生活：共度一顿浪漫晚餐、赞美、殷勤的交谈和前戏。
步入婚姻时的性生活：“当我走出浴室的时候，让我们一起来脱光光吧。”

17.
*dating*
Send me a pic.
*marriage*
Send me a pic 
of the tile you like.

恋爱约会时：发给我一张（你性感诱人的）照片。
步入婚姻：发给我一张......................................你喜欢的瓷砖的照片。


-------------译者：FORZGC-审核者：hht288------------

nna7.000 hours ago
I think that's reason there are so many divorces - people faking it while dating. When I was dating my husband the one thing I love the most about him was that he made me feel free to be myself. And same for him. It's like we were married already. I know how un-romantic right? But we just celebrated our 10th anniversary together 12 years and we still going strong. We know exactly what marriage is like because it was exactly the same as when were dating no surprises.

我觉得那么多人离婚的原因——就是人们总是在约会的时候伪装自己。当我和我的丈夫约会的时候，我最爱他的一点就是他让我感到自由自在能随心做自己。而他在我面前也不用约束伪装自己。就像我们是对已经结婚多年了的夫妻一样，我知道这很不浪漫。但我们刚庆祝了我们的结婚十周年纪念日，在一起十二年之久了，我们的婚姻一直很牢固。我们都很清楚明白婚姻是什么样子的，就像我们约会的时候一样，没有太多惊喜。

Cold8.000 hours ago
This is just a comparison between dating and marriage. Just wait for the comparison between marriage and divorce.

这仅仅只是约会中和结婚后的比较，我在等结婚后和离婚后的比较。

MELISSA8.000 hours ago
lol so funny

233，真有趣。

Catman7.000 hours ago
Marriage is awesome if you have the right mate...

婚姻的美好在于你找到了对的人...

k6.000 hours ago
It depends on the beliefs of the couple. Religion or not---my father will tell you to this day he always felt my mother was "the one". They have been married for over 50 years. If he believes that there is only "one" person for him and she believes there is only "one" person for her......well fairytale all the time no. A true parternship of love understanding respect yes arguing and love.....I've seen it. Sometimes you have to see a miracle to believe in one.

这取决于夫妻间的信仰。不管信仰那种宗教，我父亲到现在还是会说，他总觉得我母亲是他的“唯一所爱”。他们已经结婚五十多年了。如果人人都相信有个人会是他/她的唯一......当然，不可能一直都是美好的童话故事。夫妻间真正的爱，是理解、是尊重、是赞同，是的还有争吵，有爱情.......我见过。有时候你只有在见过奇迹之后才会相信奇迹。

gavin6.000 hours ago
As a man married for 20 years I love being married but want to warn people how serious (and difficult) it is. The fact is marriage does allow you to more effectively raise kids and in the right circumstance can be a pleasant way to live.

作为一个结婚20年的老男人，我虽然喜欢我的这段婚姻，但还是要警告人们婚姻是很严肃（并且困难的）。事实上，婚姻确实可以让你更有效地抚养孩子，但只有在合适正确的情况下婚姻生活才会是愉快的。

-------------译者：aspenblack-审核者：hht288------------

Chad8.000 hours ago
When you’re dating: wanna try and make a baby and not succeed?
Married: why did we succeed in making babies?

你在约会时：想来场造个宝宝但没成功的性爱吗？
已婚：为啥我们成功地造出孩子了？

GReal7.000 hours ago
When you're dating and it no longer works you say good bye! When you're married and it no longer works you go to court.

当在你约会时，然后这段感情不能再维系时，你就简单说句再见！但当你结婚了，无法再维持这段关系时，你会上法庭。

TomR5.000 hours ago
A guy spends the whole date wondering if he'll get lucky ... the gal already knows.

男人整个约会期间都在想自己会不会走运（来点餐后运动）...而女人早就知道了。

James8.000 hours ago
Does anyone actually like being married? Married people always seem to be subtly warning singles to steer clear.

有人确实喜欢结婚的吗？已婚者似乎总是含蓄地警告单身者要避开婚姻。

laptopexpert2013.com5.000 hours ago
I prefer marriage over dating. Marriage is like getting a job where you'd get benefits whereas dating is like going to a job interview wasting your time and money for nothing.

相比约会，我更喜欢结婚。结婚就像得到一份工作，你能从中得益；而约会就像去面试工作，白浪费你的时间和金钱却毫无收获。

dragon7.000 hours ago
Keep in mind most things new are fun and exciting but then they get old. The magic people talk about is called lust the love that follows is really more of the endurance your emotional bond has. It's hard to know if they are the one when you really just want to get into their pants. So here's some advice don't get married too soon yes you can wait. Know that even the one time without a condom is more than enough and if your parents are reasonable people you can look up to it is nice if they agree with your choice in spouse.

请牢记，大部分新事物都是有趣又刺激的，但之后这些都会变老旧不新鲜。人们谈论的那种魔法叫欲望，随之而来的爱情其实更多考验的是你对这段情感纽带所包含的持久力。当你只是想和他们来一发时，你很难知道他们就是你的那个人。所以给你些建议，不要太早结婚，是的，你可以等。要知道即使只有一次不带套就够你受了。（译注：这里是指因女方意外怀孕而结婚）如果你的父母是你可以求助的通情达理的人，他们也同意你对配偶的选择，那就好了。

System5.000 hours ago
20 years we still hold hands I still open doors for my wife. We still sit side by side watching tv at night.

20年了，我们仍然会手牵手，我仍然会为我妻子开门。我们晚上仍然会挨着坐一起看电视。

As The World Burns4.000 hours ago
Same. Congrats! 25 years for us!

同你一样。恭喜！我和我老婆在一起25年了！为我们喝彩！