这是我朋友的纹身…… [美国媒体]

My friend's tattoo. When asked "what does that mean?" He replies, "I don't know, I don't speak Chinese." That is literally what it means.

我朋友的纹身。我问他“这什么意思？”他回答说：“我不知道，我不会说中文。”——真的就是字面意思。





[–]nolabrew 2575分 
I knew a guy who had the characters for 'sesame chicken' tattooed on his neck. When ever we went to a Chinese restaurant he would order by pointing to it. Sometimes they thought it was so funny they would give him the food for free.
Edit: They would almost always bring everyone out from the kitchen to look at it.

我认识一个家伙脖子上纹着“芝麻鸡”。每次我们去一家中餐馆，他都会指着自己脖子点那道菜。有时候餐馆的人觉得太有意思了，那道菜钱就免了。
编辑：几乎每次他们都会喊厨房的人出来围观。

[–]monkeymalek 723分 10天前 
Just imagine if some Chinese dude got ‘Cheeseburger’ tattooed on his arm lmao

试想一个中国人在他的胳膊上纹上“芝士汉堡”。

[–]serg_vw 158分 10天前 
I know a guy that has a cheeseburger tattooed on his belly...he is American

你还别说，我一个朋友肚皮上真的有个芝士汉堡纹身……不过他是美国人。

[–]WrennyHF 83分 10天前 
I have "general tso's chicken" tatted on my ankle. I've never been brave enough to just point at it to order.

我脚踝上纹着“左宗棠鸡”。不过一直不好意思用脚点菜。

[–]DarthOtter 33分 10天前 
I mean, you'd have to haul your foot up where it's visible. Not as simple to do.

我想说，把脚翘那么高也挺不容易的。

[–]BRUCEisGOD 9133分 11天前 
Such dedication to being a smart ass.
I respect that.

为了自作聪明也是拼了。
我向他致敬！

[–]chojurou[S] 楼主   3646分 11天前 
The first time I met him, he greeted me with the stupidest grin as my eyes gazed over his tattoo

我和他初遇之时，我目不转睛得盯着他的纹身，然后他咧开嘴给我打招呼，脸上是那种最傻蛋的笑容。

[–]chojurou[S] 楼主   2471分 10天前 
Hard not to notice Chinese characters down the arm of a 19 year old white boy

很难不注意到一个胳膊上纹着汉字的19岁白人男孩。

[–]BConscience 502分 10天前 
Especially one with such poor font. Please, foreigners. If you want to get a Chinese tattoo, at least make it calligraphy. Instead of the basic default font of Microsoft 2003.

尤其是字体还这么丑。外国朋友们，拜托你们，如果你想来个汉字纹身，起码有点书法。不要用微软(Office)2003默认字体。

[–]HappySoda 155分 16天前 
Bad advice. Have you seen what it usually looks like when a non-Chinese tattoo artist tries to do Chinese calligraphy? Stick with 仿宋 or something easy with straight lines. Just look at the two 我's here. He even made this simple font look like chicken scratch.

鬼主意。你是没见过非华人纹身师纹汉字书法是什么鬼样子。还是老老实实用仿宋体或者其他直线条字体吧。
你看看那两个“我”字，这么简单的字都纹的跟鸡挠的一样，你还想玩书法？

[–]echoesreach 996分 10天前 
19?
He's definitely going to regret that

19岁？
他绝对会后悔的。

[–]hatgineer 2670分 10天前 
He will only regret that temporarily, when he becomes a dad, the dad joke complex will overtake the regret and he will like that tattoo again.

他的后悔只会是暂时的，当他为人父后，这会是一个很棒的老爸笑话(又指令人尴尬的低俗笑话)，这会超越遗憾，他会再次喜欢上那个纹身的。

[–]captainerect 143分 10天前 
Yeah I have a tatoo of a pac-man eating a dick on my foot that I got when I was 19 for a scavenger hunt. Absolutely 0 regrets more than half a decade later

没错，我19岁时，为了参加一个寻宝游戏，我在脚上纹了一个吃豆人吃鸡儿的纹身。过去的半个十年里，我一点不后悔。

(吃豆人是一款经典街机游戏)



[–]PoMDizzl3 200分 10天前 
You can't say this and not post a photo my dude

你不能光说不上图啊老铁。

[–]lostintransactions 51分 10天前 
"Half a decade"? I still have a tattoo slightly unfinished from "half a decade" ago.
I guess when you are 24, half a decade does seem like a long time. sigh... I am old.

“半个十年”？我“半个十年”前开始纹一个纹身，现在还差点儿没完工呢。
我猜对于24岁的你，5年似乎是很久时间。唉……我老了。

[–]Gogetinvaded 92分 10天前 
Who says half a decade? 5 yrs is much easier.

谁TM会说“半个十年”？你说5年不就行了！

[–]eljefino 113分 10天前 
1.25 Olympiads bro

兄弟，你应该说1.25个奥林匹克年。

[–]chojurou[S] 楼主   73分 10天前 
He's 21 or 22 now I think? He still loves it and actually just had stuff added onto it this last week

我这个朋友今年应该21、2岁了，他一点都不后悔，现在还喜欢着呢，实际上，他上周刚刚在纹身上加了些东西。

[–]Andkcojskaosncicoanw 59分 10天前 
What kind of stuff does one add to a I don't speak Chinese tattoo?

我很好奇，你能在“我不会说中文”这种纹身上加什么？

[–]showmeurknuckleball 60分 10天前 
Part 1
I don't know, I don't speak Chinese
Part 2
I told you what it means, stop reading my arm

第1部分——
“我不知道，我不会说中文”
第2部分——
“我都对你说了，别看我胳膊了！”

[–]MasterFubar 113分 10天前 
He'll only regret the scar if he can afford what it takes to get laser removed.
From $200 to $500 per session, 15 to 20 sessions. I know because I know a guy who dropped out of a career in aerospace engineering to open a tattoo removal clinic. It pays much better, according to him.

关键他得后悔得起啊——他得付得起激光去除的费用。
每个疗程要花200到500美元，一共要15到20个疗程。我之所以知道是因为我认识一个朋友，他放弃了航天工程师的工作，开了一个洗纹身诊所，他说收入高多了。

[–]bosshog_ 36分 10天前 
There is actually nonprofits that are cheaper. Less than 100 per session. I paid 40 per session but this was 10 years ago and in Los Angeles. 3 tattoos removed.

实际上有一些很便宜的非营利性诊所。一个疗程不到100大洋。我那时候一疗程才40块，不过那是10年前的事了，我在洛杉矶洗了3个纹身。

[–]bosshog_ 43分 10天前 
Two flaming eyeballs on my forearms 2 by 6 Inches and a skull on my shoulder that was 5x7. The skull was not shaded in but the the flaming eyeballs where.
Most major cities have non profits for ex gang member, poor folks, or young dumbass that regret tatts. I was a hound dumb ass. I do have tattoos now but places that can be covered

我前臂上有两个5厘米×15厘米的燃烧眼球，肩膀上有一个13厘米×18厘米的骷髅头，骷髅头染色了，眼球没染色。
大多数大城市都有非营利性诊所，为前帮派成员、穷人、或者后悔纹身的年轻笨蛋服务。我那时候是个蠢蛋，现在我身上还有纹身，不过都在可以遮盖起来的地方。

[–]Black-Horse 2878分 10天前 
7th symbol down looks like an Asian Bender

第7个字符看起来像一个佝偻的亚洲人。

[–]Mnemoceos 614分 10天前 
That's the traditional character for 会 (hui). It's used to express ability, here with the negator 不(bu) to mean "can't"

那是繁体的“会”。它表达能够的意思，与“不”字连在一起表达“不会”的意思。

[–]Minusguy 469分 10天前 
it's funny because hui means penis in Russian

好玩儿，在俄语里，hui是鸡儿的意思。

[–]hayabusaten 15分 10天前 
Would that mean that the tattoo favors Taiwanese writing? Because I heard China moved from traditional to simplified whereas Taiwan stayed with the original characters.

是不是纹身偏好台湾字体？因为我听说中国把字体简化了，而台湾则保留了汉字原貌。

[–]903124 53分 10天前* 
The tattoo artist probably just type it on google translate or something and select traditional Chinese. This sentence clearly comes from someone who don't speak Chinese. Also for the word "说" and "话" it's using the computer font, if you see the word on tattoo the left upper stroke is horizontal which is used in computer only.

纹身师可能只是用了谷歌翻译之类的东西，然后选了繁体中文。这句话很不地道。另外“说”和“话”这两个字用的是电脑印刷体——左上方那一瞥(指言字旁上面一点)是水平的，只有电脑字体才是这个样子。

[–]msvivica 19分 10天前 
Credit where credit is due though, apart from the 我, the characters have pretty spot-on balance, where usually people who don't know them try to Asia-nize them and end up fucking them up...

要求别这么高嘛，除了“我”字之外，其他字都挺好的，横是横竖是竖。要知道许多不认识汉字的人照猫画虎时都搞砸了。

[–]ZippyDan 22分 10天前 
Taiwan and Hong Kong
But many Chinese can still read the traditional characters as well. It is somewhat vaguely analogous to American English speakers still being able to read and comprehend UK spelling standards, though the differences are much greater.
It might also be analogous to still being able to read and understand Shakespearian English spelling, as, while contemporary Chinese writing for study and entertainment and media all uses the simplified character set, there is still a wealth of historical Chinese literature that Chinese are exposed to which would naturally use the traditional character set. The idea of the simplified character set is simply to make day-to-day life and work easier and more streamlined - it doesn't mean that Chinese can't still read the older characters. Not to mention that Hong Kong media is widely consumed in the mainland China, and Taiwan media increasingly so as well.
Anyway, if a tattoo used traditional characters instead of simplified characters, it would have the effect of making it seem more poetic and classical to a mainland Chinese reader - or of being from Taiwan or HK.

台湾和香港都用繁体字
但许多中国人也仍然能阅读繁体字。有点类似于美国人仍然能够阅读、理解英国英语的拼写规范，尽管繁简体之间的差异要大得多。
也可以类比莎士比亚时期的英语，尽管当代中国人学习、娱乐包括媒体都用简体字，但中国人依然会接触到大量使用繁体字的古籍。简体字的目的是让日常生活和工作更方便——但这并不意味着中国人就看不懂老体字了。更不用香港媒体在大陆有广泛的市场，台湾媒体也日渐增加。
总之，如果一个纹身使用繁体字，对于中国大陆人来说，会更有诗意的感觉——或者有来自台湾或香港的感觉。

[–]ApoMechanesTheos 1分 10天前 
Were creating simplified characters really worth the trouble? From an outsider's point of view, there doesn't seem to be that much "simplification", and on the contrary seems to have created a lot more confusion by creating an alternate set of characters that people would have to learn in addition to the older ones?

真的值得费心去搞简体字吗？从我这个局外人的观点看，似乎也没“简化”多少啊，反而更让人混淆了，因为人们不得不学习一套新创造的字体。

[–]ZippyDan 1分 7天前 
Again, think of Shakespeare.
Imagine how much more difficult your daily life would be if you had to write like that.
At the same time, you can still vaguely recognize and understand Shakespeare, with more mental effort, for the few times that you actually read or watch it. Still, you're no expert in Shakespearian English, and you might misinterpret or outright not understand certain words, references, and puns.
In terms of Chinese, needing to know 6,000 instead of 8,000 character is a significant reduction (note: I pulled those numbers out of the clouds). Additionally, simplified Chinese is easier to read and write, not just because there are few characters, but because the characters themselves are often less complex and require less strokes to write. In other words, you can write the same "words" faster in simplified Chinese.
To draw another inadequate comparison, it is kind of like learning text speak. Sure, you can still read and write with full sentences, proper grammar, punctuation, etc. if needed, but often text speak is faster, more efficient, and does the job just as well.

还是那句话，想想莎士比亚吧。
想象一下，如果你按照莎士比亚风格写作，你的日常生活会有多麻烦。
但与此同时，只要你花点脑子，你仍然可以大致读懂莎士比亚。不过因为你不是专门研究莎士比亚的，你可能产生误解或读不懂某些词句。
至于汉字，从8000字减少到6000个可不算少了(我不确定准确数字)。此外，简体中文更容易读写，不仅因为简体字数量减少了，而且间字体本身结构通常更简单了，笔画更少，写起来更便捷。

[–]chojurou[S] 楼主   775分 10天前 
@everyone assuming this is fake and/or asking for a newer pic so here. This was taken yesterday.

既然大家都说是假的，要求上最新照片。好吧，这是昨天照的。



[–]zagbag 230分 10天前 
Jesus, he went all out.

天啊，他可真是元气满满啊。

[–]chumkinson 140分 10天前 
Tell him to get a new shirt.

告诉他，买件新衬衫吧。

[–]lawanddisorder216 9分 10天前 
Is he doing the Zuckerburg thing where he wears the same shirt everyday?

他是不是像扎克伯格(脸书创始人)一样，每天都穿同一样式的衬衫？

[–]GhotiGhongers 307分 10天前 
I have friend who has Thai writing on his arm. Looks really nice. Asked him what it says and his reply "Please put your used condoms in the bin provided".

我有个朋友手臂上纹着泰文。看起来真的很漂亮。我问他什么意思，他回答说“请把你用过的安全套放进垃圾桶”。

[–]portuga 22分 10天前 
Well, it’s a nice inspirational saying.

好，非常励志的格言！

[–]NewRedditNot4Pron 543分 10天前 
He tried copying his favorite actress's back tattoo, but without success. Through no fault of his own though since he was too busy doing other things. At least that would be my excuse.

如果让我解释的话，他想模仿他最喜欢的女演员的背部纹身来着，但是忙中出错了。

[–]DeAvil87 424分 10天前 
Riley Reid?

路雷梦？
(美国人气女星，以下图是百度的，她背上的字是：生活带来您时柠檬做柠檬水)




  
[–]TheDeadBacon 101分 11天前 
Just googled it, apparently her tattoo says 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'
Damn, never thought I'd be interested in that Tattoo

我刚谷歌了，显然她的纹身想表达的意思是“假如生活给了你一个酸柠檬，那就酿成甜柠檬汁”。

[–] chojurou 166分 10天前* 
Ive done many coverups on 35 year old folks that had this mentality in their 20s. A half decade is a blink of an eye in a persons life. Not really a long enough time frame to regret a tattoo. It usually takes 8-10 years for regret to kick in. Most coverups i do are on mid 30s people with tattoos from their early 20s. Most of em thought the tattoos were wonderful.

我曾替许多30多岁的人洗纹身，他们都是20时纹的。对于一个人的一生，5年只是一瞥，还不足以让你为纹身感到后悔。通常过了8~10年才会后悔，他们绝大数人当初都觉得纹身很棒。

[–]YouAreInAComaWakeUp 45分 10天前 
You don't really change all that much between 19 and 24

从19岁到24岁，其实你没有多少变化。

[–]WhiteBroncoDriver 27分 10天前 
Can confirm. 29 and still immature as I was at 19.

我作证。29岁的我还和19岁时一样幼稚。

[–]notoneofyourfans 14分 10天前 
Yep. 25 is the new 18. Even science has recognized that even though we give 18 year olds the title, "adult", actual adult decisions don't start happening until the late 20's. I always advise young people not to marry before age 25. There is usually zero reason to do so in today's society.

是啊，25岁是新的18岁。甚至科学研究都已经发现，虽然我们给了18岁“成人”这个头衔，但实际上知道20岁末期，将近30岁时，才开始能够做出成年人的成熟决策。我总是建议年轻人在25岁之前不要结婚，在当今社会，完全没理由结婚这么早。

[–]Szyz 21分 10天前 
Oh, well, if you don't regret it at 24, then you never will, after all you're an old man now and your life is over.

哦我明白了，如果你24岁时不后悔，那你这辈子也不会后悔了，毕竟你已经是一个老人了，马上就要谢幕了。

[–]Southernnfratty 996分 15天前* 
中国话 is kind of a dated way to say "Chinese" (almost like how you'd say/write it in Japanese, actually).
Most people in Mainland China say 中文 or 汉语, or 国语 / 普通话 / 华语 if you're in HK/Taiwan/SE Asia. Also colloquially many people say "讲” more often than "说” ; the latter which to me sounds a bit more textbook-y.
But other than that, the tattoo is correct
Edit: 弄纹身的那个人的手写也挺标准的 Edit 2: Guys I was just pointing out a few subtleties lol. The phrase is a bit awk but overall correct. And 说/讲 can be used interchangeably, 讲 just sounds more natural to me

“中国话”是一种有些过时的说法(实际上，感觉就像日语一样)。
在中国大陆，大多数人会说“中文”或“汉语”，如果你在香港/台湾/东南亚，人们会说国语/普通话/华语。另外，在口语中，许多人会说“我不讲中文”，而不是“我不说中文”——在我听来，这种说法太教科书化了。
但除此之外，纹身是正确的。
编辑1： 弄纹身的那个人的手写也挺标准的。
编辑2：我只是指出了一些细节上的东西。这个句子有点怪，但总的来说是正确的。另外“说”和“讲”确实是可以通用，我只是觉得“讲”更自然。

[–]hatgineer 487分 15天前 
Edit: 弄纹身的那个人的手写也挺标准的
什么他妈的你他妈的刚才说我，你这小婊子？我会让你知道我毕业了我班的顶部的海豹突击队，我已经参与了许多秘密袭击的基地组织，和我有超过300证实杀死。我在训练的大猩猩战，我在整个美国军队的最高狙击手。你是我什么都不是，但只是一个目标。我会消灭你他妈的精度喜欢哪一个从未见过在这个地球上，记住我的话他妈的。你以为你可以逃脱说狗屎我在互联网上？再想想，笨蛋。在我们发言，我联系我的秘密横跨美国间谍网络和IP被追踪作为现在让您风暴，蛆更好的准备。这抹了你打电话

[–]requimrar 679分 17天前 
fyi this is the navy seal copypasta, but properly translated

给大家解释一下，这是用谷歌把“海豹突击队”梗翻译成了汉语。

译注：根据表情包百科—— 

Navy Seal Copypasta (also known as the “Marine Copypasta,” “Internet Tough Guy Copypasta” and “Gorilla Warfare Copypasta”) is a facetious message containing a series of ridiculous claims and grandiose threats that portray the poster as an Internet tough guy stereotype. In the original post, the writer claimed to be a former Navy Seal with a long history of combat experiences, using comical typos and hyperboles like “Gorilla Warfare,” “300 Confirmed Kills” and “I can kill you in over 700 ways with just my bare hands.” Since its emergence in mid-2012, the copypasta has spawned a variety of spin-off stories, similar to the John Copypasta meme.

海豹突击队梗(也被称为“海兵梗”，“网络硬汉梗”和“大猩猩战争梗”)是一条滑稽的留言，包含一系列荒唐的声称和浮夸的威胁，把层主描绘成了一个网络硬汉印象。

评论来自于youtube评论。



原评论——
你他妈的刚才对我说什么，你个小贱人？我要让你知道，我在海豹突击队训练班名列前茅，我参与了无数次对基地组织的秘密突袭，经鉴定杀敌超过300人。我接受过大猩猩战争训练，我是美国军队最顶级狙击手。你在我眼里屁都不是，只是又一个靶子。我要用地球上前所未有的精准枪法把你抹杀掉，你他妈的记住我的话。你以为你在网上喷我就能逃避惩罚了？太天真了，混蛋。在我们说话的空儿，我正在联络我的全美秘密间谍网，你的IP地址正在被追踪，所以你准备好迎接风暴吧，蛆虫！这场风暴将抹掉一个可怜东西——就是你的命。你他妈的死定了，孩子。我可以随时随地，用超过七百多种方式杀死你——这还只是徒手。我不仅接受过大量徒手格斗训练，而且我还能使用整个美国海军陆战队的军火库，我将借助这些军火把你可怜的屁股从大陆上抹去，你这个小婊砸。你要是知道你那条“小聪明”评论会给你带来怎样邪恶的报应，也许你就会闭上你的鸟嘴了。但你不知道，你也没闭嘴，所以现在你要付出代价，你这该死的白痴。我要将狂怒拉在你身上，你将淹没其中。你死定了，孩子。

下面的回复——
你接受过“大猩猩”训练？意思是你用香蕉把人打死么？那是“游击队”，你这该死的白痴！(Guerilla，游击队，被误拼为Gorilla，大猩猩)


[–]J__d 30分 15天前 
Translating from English to Chinese (traditional works best) and back to English is usually comedy gold. I do it for serious emails I receive.

从英语翻译成汉语(最好是繁体字)，然后再翻译回英语，通常能制造绝妙的喜剧。我常拿我收到的严肃邮件这么做。

[–]ThirdTerrene 20分 15天前 
Which are the characters for "Pan-American Secret Spy and Internet Group" because I need to rename all of my group chats now.

“泛美秘密间谍和网络小组”汉语怎么说？我要把我的群聊改成这个名字。