quora上的印度网友: 如何在包办婚姻中觅得一位漂亮妻子？

How do I get an extremely beautiful wife in arranged marriage?

我要如何在包办婚姻中觅得一位非常漂亮的妻子？

 

QUORA网站读者评论：

来源：三泰虎       http://www.santaihu.com/45914.html    译者：Joyceliu

外文链接：https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-get-an-extremely-beautiful-wife-in-arranged-marriage

 

Amitesh Gita Singh, Being practical and accepting the harsh reality

Disclaimer:

免责声明:

This answer may hurt someone's sentiments and it may look like offensive. I apologize for that in advance. It is not my intention to hurt someone's personal feelings. If you want to avoid reading this answer, it is up to you. This is harsh reality of current Indian society.

这个答案可能会伤害某些人的感情，看起来像是种冒犯。我先提前向你们道歉。我无意伤害别人的感情。如果你避开这个答案，那由你决定。这是当前印度社会的残酷现实。

So the question is : How do I get a beautiful wife in arranged marriage?

所以问题是：我如何在包办婚姻中觅得一个漂亮的妻子?

In ideal situation, it completely depends upon Guy's inner soul, his behavior, respect towards girls and what his personality speaks. A girl only wants honesty, loyalty, respect in her man and believe me she never bothers about his wealth and property.

在理想的情况下，这完全取决于男孩的内心，他的行为，对女孩的尊重以及他的性格如何。女孩只希望她的男人诚实、忠诚、尊重，相信我，她从不为他的财富和财产烦恼。

These types of girls are called as ‘Imaginary Girls' who are found in every corner of earth but sadly earth is round.

这些类型的女孩被称为“假想的女孩”，她们在地球的每个角落都能找到，但不幸的是，地球是圆的。

Please don't find this offensive and don't judge me on the basis of what I'm writing here.

请不要觉得这是冒犯，也不要根据我在这里写了什么东西而评判我。

Now coming to harsh reality, very few care about how you look and what your soul reflects. Honesty, loyalty, care, true love all these look good in text books and as facebook status only. Reality is far different than this. If you want to marry a beautiful girl, just be rich or your educational qualification must be very high though it’s weightage is quite low. One more solution is, hold a high post in your organization. It would also help you to get a beautiful girl.

现在我们进入残酷的现实，很少有人关心你的外表和灵魂反映了什么。诚实，忠诚，关心，真爱，所有这些在教科书和Facebook上看起来都很好。现实与此大不相同。如果你想娶一个漂亮的女孩，只要有钱，或者你的学历必须很高，虽然它所占的比重很低。另外一个解决方案是，在你的组织中担任一个高职位。它也会帮助你觅得一个漂亮的女孩。

I am not saying that all rich people have beautiful wife but being rich will maximize the chances of getting beautiful girl.

我并不是说所有的富人都有漂亮的妻子，但是有钱会让娶到漂亮女孩的机会最大化。

Now a days, most of them are like, ‘Money can't buy happiness but it is better to cry in a Ferrari’.

现如今，他们中的大多数人都这么想，“钱买不到幸福，但就算只能在法拉利里哭也好。”

Actually this is not only their fault. This mentality is inherited from our Indian culture. Just think a bit, What would father of a girl prefer while looking for a groom for his daughter. The first obvious thing would be his bank statement and his stability. Then after other things are taken into account. Now one more thing, usually girls choose their boyfriends from their age group only but when it comes to marriage, they are ready to get engaged with a person who is 6 to 10 years older, whom they once called 'Uncle' or 'Sir'. Because being in a relationship is not a matter of future plan. And if you would ask me if it is just for time pass, Yes it is!

事实上，这不仅仅是他们的错。这种心态是从我们的印度文化中传承下来的。想想看，一个女孩的父亲在给女儿挑选新郎的时候会更喜欢什么。首先显而易见的是他的银行存款和稳定性。然后再考虑其他事情。还有一件事，女孩们通常只选择同龄的男朋友，但当涉及到婚姻问题时，她们也已准备好和一个比自己大6到10岁的人订婚，她们曾经管他叫“叔叔”或“先生”。因为恋爱不是未来计划的问题。如果你问我是否只是为了消磨时间，是的!

What exactly I am trying to say:

我想说的是:

The above facts do not apply to every girl but majority of them are following this path. Still there are millions of them who favor man over ATM machine. If girls feel bad when guys look for beauty only then we also feel bad when you consider our money. Yes, money should be there but it should not be the only thing. And that is the point of this talk.

以上事实并不适用于每一个女孩，但她们中的大多数人正在走这条路。仍然有成千上万的人喜欢男人胜过ATM机（自动取款机）。如果当男人只追求美丽容貌的时候，女孩感觉不舒服，那么当你考虑我们的钱的时候，我们也感觉不舒服。是的，金钱应该存在，但它不应该是唯一的东西。这就是这次演讲的重点。

 

Apoorva Gupta, PGDM from T A Pai Management Institute, Manipal (2012)

I think to get an extremely beautiful girl in an arranged marriage, you need to fulfill any one of the following criteria:

我认为要想在包办婚姻中觅得一个非常漂亮的女孩，你需要满足以下任何一个条件:

On matrimonial site: Send requests to girls only whom you find beautiful as per your beauty standards.

在婚姻网站：只向符合你审美标准的漂亮姑娘发送请求。

You should have the qualities she is looking for: Rich, Handsome, wealthy family etc., so that both of you can at least materialistically match each other and fulfill each other’s expectations.

你应该拥有她正在寻找的品质：富有、英俊、家境殷实等等，这样你至少可以认识俩相互匹配，满足彼此的期望。

You too need to be extremely good looking so that you both compliment really well and probably that’s the most important deciding criteria for her as well for marriage.

你也需要外貌出众，这对她、对婚姻可能也是最重要的决定标准。

She isn’t shallow to be drawn to someone just by the looks and she looks further : Personality and Confidence, Attitude towards life , You make her laugh, She can be herself with you.

她只被某人的外表吸引并不意味着她很肤浅，她还看中：个性和信任，对生活的态度，你让她笑，她和你在一起的时候可以保留自我。

If she knows you chose her not only because of her looks but because of the person she is and you can convince her about that.

如果她知道你选择了她,不仅是因为她的美貌,也因为她是怎样的人，你可以让她信服。

Advertise you wealth in the matrimonial profile you prepare and also state clearly that you are looking for a beautiful girl like many do in India.

在你的婚恋档案上宣传你的财富，也清楚地表态你正在寻找一个漂亮的女孩，就像许多印度人做的那样。

All the best and I hope you find a beautiful girl, but I pray that you both can connect as well as that’s what marriage is all about(Having a Trophy wife might not make you happy for long).

祝你顺利，我希望你能找到一个漂亮的女孩，但我祈祷你们能完美契合，正如婚姻的真谛一样(拥有一个漂亮的妻子可能不会让你长久幸福)。

 

Hussain Shaherwala, Marriage is the most beautiful thing.

Please do not be offended if I say that I find a lot of immaturity in your question.

如果我说我发现你的问题有许多不成熟之处，请不要生气。

How do I get a beautiful wife in arranged marraige?

我怎样才能在包办婚姻中觅得一个漂亮的妻子?

Beauty lies within a person. A person can be very good looking but has a completely flawed character, then what will you do? Will you marry her just because she looks good?

美丽存在于一个人的内心。一个人可能长得很帅，但性格却有缺陷，那你会怎么做?你会因为她漂亮就娶她吗?

A person might be a little less good looking or a little dark skinned, but is of amazing character, respects you and your family and is capable for you. Will you say no to her just because she is a little less good looking and go to the previous one with a bad character just based on looks?

一个人可能长得不太好看或者皮肤有点黑，但他的性格很好，尊重你和你的家人，也很有才华。你会因为她长得不太好看就拒绝她吗?你会仅仅因为她长得不好看就去找之前那个只有容貌、性格很差的人吗?

Ask these above questions to yourself.

问问自己以上这些问题。

No one is telling you marry a completely ugly looking partner or a partner whom you do not feel comfortable with and whom you do not find beautiful. But don't just look for killer beauty, outside beauty comes with a great cost and the cost for this can be your entire life.

没有人会告诉你和一个长得很丑的人，或者一个你觉得不舒服又觉得不漂亮的人结婚。但不要只寻找绝世美女，外在美需要付出巨大的代价，而代价可能是你的一生。

 

Vdhay Kumar N, free human

to get most beautiful wife in an arraged marriage is bit difficult but not impossible.

在包办婚姻中娶到最漂亮的妻子有点困难，但也不是不可能。

Firstly you need to build your cv like good education, good job, good salary, family back ground and a bit of luck. What you need to know is in an arranged marriage parents take larger interest, you need to impress her parents first.

首先，你需要编写你的简历，如良好的教育，体面的工作，不菲的薪水，家庭背景和一点运气。你需要知道的是，在包办婚姻中，父母对你的兴趣更大，你需要先给她的父母留下好印象。

Check profiles whom you find matching, atleast 10 profiles. Start calling them as of India you need to create horoscope if every thing matches you can meet with your parents to the girls parents.

查阅跟你匹配的对象的档案，至少10个人的档案。开始给她们打电话，在印度你还需要编制一个星象图跟你匹配的所有方面是否符合你父母对女孩父母的要求。

You can also request to talk to her if both of your views match she will say ok or she will just reject you and you can go for another girl.

你也可以要求和她谈谈，如果你的两个的三观一致，她会说ok或者如果她拒绝你，你可以去找另一个女孩。

 

Manish Chaurasia, I came , i am seeing , will think about ...

There are two ways :

有两种方式:

1.Choose a beautiful girl from your neighborhood /college /office /friends group /friends of friends etc. And then propose her. At first she will reject you then don't lose hope just keep going after her, be friend with her , roam around her, always be there to help her, be there during her hard time and she may get feelings for you.

1. 从你的邻居/大学/办公室/朋友圈/朋友的朋友等中选择一个漂亮的女孩，然后向她求婚。一开始她会拒绝你，不要失去希望，只要继续追她，做她的朋友，在她周围闲逛，总是及时出现帮助她，在她困难的时候陪着她，她可能就会对你有感觉了。

2.Work hard and hard and even harder and then show your money and you are there. Yes man, that's the easier way. Don't believe me? See this

2. 努力工作，努力工作，更努力地工作，然后展现你的财力。是的，伙计，这是更简单的方法。不相信我吗?看到这个

Gurugram based Shakul gupta received more than 2k applications when he posted on Facebook that he would take his valentine on a date to the Oberoi Hotel and gift her an iPhone 7.He described himself as an entrepreneur with an Audi A4.

来自古鲁拉姆的Shakul gupta在Facebook上发帖称，他将和他的情人到奥贝罗伊酒店约会，并送给她一部iPhone 7。他收到了超过2000份申请。他自称是拥有奥迪A4的企业家。

So mate get rich or get lucky. Or change the definition of beautiful for you. You have been getting it all wrong, I guess.

所以你要么发财要么走运。或者改变你对美丽的定义。我想你都搞错了。

Image source : Facebook

图片来源:Facebook

 

Anonymous

I am a girl and i would like to tell you how all can you get a beautiful wife.

我是一个女孩，我想告诉你怎么才能找到一个美丽的妻子。

If you are good looking yourself.

如果你自己长得也好看。

If you have gratuated from IIT or IIM

如果你从印度理工学院或印度理工学院毕业。

If you are earning very well than the guys of your age

如果你的收入比同龄人高

If you are from a rich family.

如果你来自一个富裕的家庭。

If you are an achiever in terms of the society.

如果你在社会上是个成功者。

Last but not the least , if you are lucky, a beautiful girl may like you for your heart. But in terms of arranged marriage i am not sure about the last point.

最后一点，也是非常重要的一点，如果你幸运，一个美丽的女孩可能喜欢你的心。但是关于包办婚姻，最后一点我不敢保证。

 

Atul Jain, MBA, Psychology & Spirituality

Money attracts money

钱吸引钱

Beauty attracts beauty

美吸引美

So if you are handsome there are more chances to get beautiful wife.

所以，如果你很帅，就有更多的机会娶到漂亮的妻子。

Else

或者

Just enhance your inner beauty(thoughts, behavior etc) , so there could be chances one beautiful gets impressed and you get success

提升你的内在美(思想、行为等)，就有可能给一个美丽的人留下深刻的印象，你就会获得成功

All d best

祝好运

 

Anjit Sharma, Not reproducing from internet always.

That's quite easy. You only need a lot of inherited wealth, a grand business or high paying job, at least 4–5 cars (minimum one imported) , a huge bungalow or apartment in posh society.

这太简单了。你只需要继承一大笔财富，一项大生意或一份高薪的工作，至少4-5辆汽车(至少一辆是进口汽车)，一个豪华社区里的大平房或公寓。

You will get prospects on your own.

你自己会找到机会的。

 

Kargal Gurumurthy, 30+ working as Professor in an Engineering college/University in Bangalore

Mr. Alan, at the first place, do you believe in the arranged marriage? Is there any such concept out there?

艾伦先生，首先，你相信包办婚姻吗?有这样的概念吗?

If the answer is yes, then my answer for your question is that you must impress that beautiful girl(would be wife) and her parents very well. You should do lot of survey and find out her hobbies and interests. You have to match her in every respect right from looks, education….. to wealth.If her parents are convinced that her interests would be safe in your hands then you are going to succeed.

如果答案是肯定的，那么我对你问题的回答是：你必须给那个漂亮的女孩(可能是妻子)和她的父母留下深刻的印象。你应该做大量的调查，找出她的爱好和兴趣。你必须在外貌、教育或财富等各方面与其匹配。如果她的父母相信她嫁给你后是安全的，那么你就会成功。

That is how it works at least in India.

至少在印度是这样。

 

Ujjwal Baudh

Be filthy rich.Then go to mumbai(If u r indian).There are many girls who are looking to get into bollywood nd are super hot just show off ur money to them and marry the one u find most attractive.

你要非常富有。然后去孟买(如果你是印度人)。有很多女孩想进入宝莱坞，只要向她们炫耀你的钱，挑选一个你觉得最有吸引力的人结婚就是了。

 

Kranthi Boyapati, Associate Consultant at Capgemini India (2013-present)

Only beautiful ?

只需要漂亮吗?

If you find the girl not respecting any one in your family?

如果你发现这个女孩不尊重你的家人怎么办?

If the girl doesn't care for you ?

如果那个女孩不喜欢你怎么办?

If she already had a boy friend and still continuing after marriage ?

如果她已经有了男朋友，而且婚后还在继续交往怎么办?

If she is not interested in you ?

如果她对你不感兴趣怎么办?

If she had some other goal in life ?

如果她在生活中有其他目标怎么办?

If you can answer all these then it's easy to find a beautiful girl. Just keep on rejecting girls until you a beautiful one.

如果你能回答所有这些问题，那么就很容易找到一个漂亮的女孩。一直拒绝，直到你找到一个漂亮的为止。

Sad to give this aswer . Sorry girls.

提供了这个答案，我很难过。对不起女孩们。

 

Zaineb Bookwala, Indian

Be rich and good looking yourself. Then ask for marriage proposals only from pretty girls. With luck at least for a few of them money will be the only important thing and you will get your pretty wife.

你自己要富有、帅气。然后只向漂亮女孩求婚。运气好的话，至少对他们中的一些人来说，钱是唯一重要的事情，你会得到你漂亮的妻子。

 

Brina Saini, Reader & Foodie

Ever heard of the saying - “Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.”?

听说过“情人眼里出西施”吗?

What’s beautiful to me may not be beautiful to you. You need to be more specific about what exactly is beautiful for you. And then expect to find a girl who holds the same standard of beauty as you do as in even she should find you good looking.

对我来说美丽的东西对你来说可能并不美丽。你需要更具体地说明对你来说漂亮是什么。然后期待找到一个和你有着同样审美标准的女孩，这样她也会觉得你很帅气。

 

Ramya Priya, studied at India

Get a government job.

要有一份政府的工作。

Assuming you are an Indian.

假设你是印度人。

 

Arjun Sharma

You have to be rich .the more rich you are the more beautyfull wife you can get thats the reality of indian society

你必须要有钱，你越有钱，你的妻子就越漂亮，这是印度社会的现实

 

Quora User, lives in India

First of all earn some money. After that go to a western country where female to male sex ratio is high and it is very easy to impress a girl in western country then approach her and propose for marriage. You can also marry more than one girl in western country easily but not on the same time.

首先，赚点钱。然后去西方国家，那里的男女性别比很高，在西方国家很容易打动一个女孩，然后接近她，求婚。在西方国家，你也可以很容易地和不止一个女孩结婚，但不是同时结婚。

 

Sethulakshmi V, Going through the process

It is the most common way people getting married in India.

这是印度人结婚最常见的方式。

Below are the steps being followed in my region among the educated upper middle class families,

以下是我所在地区受过教育的中上层阶级家庭所采取的步骤，

1.Parents will create a profile for you in matrimonial website (there are somany) when u reach suitable age for marriage.(Mostly 23 for girls and 27 for guys)

1. 当你达到适合结婚的年龄时，父母会在婚姻网站(有很多网站)上为你创建个人资料。(多数情况下，女生23岁，男生27岁)

2.The profile contains your personal, academic, career, financial, and family background details.

2. 个人资料中包含了你的个人，学历，职业，财务和家庭背景等细节。

3.We will search and filter for profiles of same religion,caste (subdivision of religion if you are hindu), region, financial background, and family background.

3. 我们将搜索和筛选具有相同宗教，种姓(如果你是印度教徒，还要看宗教的分支)，地区，经济背景，和家庭背景的个人资料。

If you are a hindu (religion) then mostly everyone will have an astrological birth chart,which is generated based on the date and time of birth. An astrologer will check the compatability of the birth chart of guy and girl. If he says they are compatable for marriage then will proceed to next step.

如果你是印度教徒(宗教)，那么大多数人都会有一个星相出生表，它是根据出生日期和时间生成的。占星家会核对男孩和女孩的出生表是否匹配。如果他说他们适合结婚，那么他们就会继续下一步。

4.Parents will contact the other person’s parents ask are they interested to proceed with this marriage proposal.

4. 父母会联系对方的父母，问他们是否对结亲有兴趣。

5.If both families are interested they will arrage a date when the girl and the guy can meet for first time. Mostly it will happen in girl’s home. 10 or 20 mintues will be given to the couple to talk in private.

5. 如果两个家庭都感兴趣，他们会在女孩和男孩第一次见面的时候约会。主要发生在女孩家里。他们会给这对夫妇10到20分钟的私人谈话时间。

6. After this family will ask your opinion about the marriage proposal. If the above factors are compatable and if both families liked each other mostly your family will try to convince you to say yes.

6. 这个家庭之后会问你关于求婚的意见。如果以上的因素都没问题，如果两个家庭都很喜欢对方，你的家人会试图说服你答应。

7.If you say yes, the parents and close relatives of the girl will visit guy’s home and judge his financial and social background. Girls are not supposed to visit the guy’s home before marriage even though she is going to stay with them after marriage.

7. 如果你答应了，女孩的父母和近亲会去男方家，判断他的经济和社会背景。女孩不应该在结婚前去男人家，即使她结婚后会和他们住在一起。

8.If above steps are ok, an engagement date will be fixed. After that contact numbers will be shared among the couple. And they can get to know each other.

8. 如果以上的步骤都没问题，双方将选定一个订婚日期。之后，这对夫妇将交换联系电话。他们可以互相了解。

9. Family will fix the marriage date.

9. 双方家庭将敲定结婚日期。

10.Marriage.

10.结婚。

11.Happily ever after….

11. 从此过上了幸福的生活.

There will be variations according to religion and region. There are cases where dowry(it’s a financial assest/amount of money girls’s family has to give to the guy’s.) is mandatory, even though asking or giving dowry is illeagal. It still exists.

因为宗教不同、地域不同。在有些情况下，嫁妆是强制性的（嫁妆是女方家庭必须提供给男方家庭的财产和钱），即使要求或提供嫁妆是违法的。但这种陋习仍然存在。

In india marraige is a family business and a complicated process

在印度，结婚是一个家庭的大事，是一个复杂的过程

 

Jay Shah, I know a bit about relationships

In India it is quite common and I would say at least three quarters of all marriages in India are arranged. And you are not alone. My colleagues from the US in my previous Co used to have similar question and were often surprised learning about arranged marriages in India. You will read a lot about people's experience with arranged marriage on Quora.

在印度这是很普遍的，我认为印度至少有四分之三的婚姻是包办的。你并不孤单。在我之前的公司里，我的美国同事也曾有过类似的问题，在了解到印度的包办婚姻后，他们常常感到惊讶。你会在Quora上看到很多关于包办婚姻的故事。

 

Gorby Mathew Alex, Technology Analyst at Infosys (2011-present)

Its like arranged marriage is the norm in India. Falling in love and then getting married to that person is “adventurous” / “wild” .. i lived in malaysia for a few years.. Malaysian born Indians(most of them have never even visited India) still practice arranged marriages.

在印度，包办婚姻似乎是一种常态。坠入爱河然后和那个人结婚是“冒险的”/“疯狂的”。我在马来西亚住了几年。在马来西亚出生的印度人(他们中的大多数人甚至从未去过印度)仍然实行包办婚姻。