Navneet: 我们都是独一无二的，印网友:你的博客使我对中国产生浓厚兴趣

Living In Gaogang...Part 7  

高港记事-第七章

Navneet

Walking the beaten track

[This blog has nothing to speak of Gaogang but well..the Heading of my blog series is “Stories from Gaogang and not Stories of Gaogang ]

本篇博客与高港没有太大关系，然而，我的博客系列的标题是“来自高港的故事而不是高港的故事”。

I was away for a week to the sea for a sea trial of a newly built ship. The ship has to be taken for trial of all its machinery, to the sea once its construction is complete. It has to pass the stringent performance tests. Like all the children have to go for the final examination each year for testing whether they deserve to be promoted to the next class or not and the main stress is on their parents, so it is with us. The level of stress comes to a climax before the sea trial and after returning, the process of removing the defects and issuance of certificate starts.

我出海了一星期，去对一艘新造船舶进行试航。一艘船造好后，就必须通过严格的性能测试检验船上所有机械。就像孩子们每一年都需要参加期末考以检验是否能顺利升学，父母们总是觉得亚历山大。我们也是如此。压力最大的时候，一是试航前，一是返航后，开始消除船舶缺陷及签发证书时。

译文来源：三泰虎 http://www.santaihu.com/44431.html

Carrying out with the analogy of the examination of the school children, it is the time to see the report cards. Why I have liked the thought of the Exams of the School Children is that they are not really stressed, especially when they are very young. They do not understand why their mothers are so worried and so anxious about their performance. We get overtly anxious about our children and press them to perform, we give them the affliction of “stress”.

以学生考试为例，就是发成绩单的时候。我为什么喜欢举学生考试的例子，因为他们其实没有太大的压力，特别是年幼的时候。他们也无法理解为什么家长总是特别挂心成绩。我们总是过于担心自己的孩子，强迫他们做这做那，把压力转嫁给他们。

We compare them with other children. We compare them with their elder siblings or the kids of in the neighbourhood or of our relatives and friends, children of anyone we know who we know are bright in studies. We do the same when it is the time to judge them in sports, in performing arts, in anything. We judge them, we compare them, we criticize them all the time. In the name of motivation, in an attempt to inspire them to do better than they can, by constantly tell them about others, berate them, sometimes punish them emotionally or even use a switch when we are very angry. By doing this we kill the child in them for ever.

我们总喜欢拿自己的孩子跟其他孩子比，跟兄弟姐妹，邻居的孩子或者是其他亲戚朋友的孩子比。无论是学习、体育、艺术或是其他方面，只要我们听说哪个孩子好，我们就会拿来跟自己的孩子比较。我们总是评判、比较、苛责孩子。为了使他们进步，我们就打着激励的旗号，喋喋不休地叨叨其他孩子，不断地斥责、惩罚，甚至鞭打孩子。这样做，其实是在扼杀孩子的天性。

From being gay, bubbly, talkative children, they become, unsure, faltering, hesitating, reticent and recluse. They start avoiding being paraded before the guests, they start remonstrating. They become stubborn and disobeying and in their little hearts, they try to retain liking for the things they feel naturally inclined to. Sometimes they can keep the flames of their natural tendencies from getting snuffed, but many times they can’t and with the death of their natural tendencies, a part of them dies for ever and gets buried for good deep somewhere in their little hearts.

原本快乐、活泼、健谈的孩子会渐渐变得迟疑、自卑、犹豫、沉默和孤僻。孩子越来越不喜欢在人前展示自己，越来越固执，越来越叛逆。然而，他们心里仍然会小心翼翼地坚守自己的天性。某些时候，他们的天性可能侥幸不被扼杀。但更多时候，他们无能为力。这些天性永远消失了并埋葬在他们心灵的最深处。

Most of us have been such parents, many of the young children will become such parents tomorrow. It has been going on and on like this since, this mad race of being better than our compatriot started when the focus of the world shifted towards commercialization, some hundred or so years ago. We try to pass this blame to the Western world, which we say made us materialistic, competitive, selfish, heartless and ruthless. We understand that something is wrong with it but we shrug our shoulders expressing our inability to change our attitude. We see ourselves as straws or the moths fallen in the raging river.

大多数父母都是这样的，很多孩子以后也会变成这样的父母。自从几百年前，这个世界上的焦点开始转向商业化以来，这场疯狂的比赛就开始了。我们试图把责任推给西方，我们辩称是他们使我们变得物质至上、好胜、自私、冷血和无情。即使我们意识到这是错误的，但我们仍耸耸肩表示我们就像稻草与飞蛾一样渺小，在波涛汹涌的河流中无能为力。

Only few of us have the courage to resist, to stand up and face the fury of the flood and dare to walk against the current, caring little for the ridicule and the cat-calls. Only few of us, can walk the “roads less taken” to show that it is ok to be different. And when they are depicted in the films as "Wonder Women" and Superman, the film become super-duper hit, grossing millions as the viewers can live their fantasies in the auditoriums where they sit through the thrills for an hour or two, disconnected from the challenging world outside, wearing the armours of their heroes performing impossible feats.

只有少数人有勇气去反抗，直面怒吼的洪水，敢于无视嘲笑和嘘声，挑战现状。只有少数人能另辟蹊径，以示与众不同。就像电影神奇女侠与超人这类电影，引起了巨大的轰动。数百万观众坐在电影院里，与世隔绝一两个小时，幻想与他们穿着英雄的铠甲，完成不可能的壮举。

The actors who perform in those movies become household names, riding the wave of popularity, but some like Christopher Reeves (before, my mind could return the name “Christopher Reeves” google page had opened and I decided to look what Wikipedia had to say. I was surprised to read that so many people who played in Superman character in the movies or cartoon films died under mysterious or tragic circumstances before Christopher Reeves died tragically that it has got a superstition attached to it and it is called as “Superman Curse”. Christopher Reeves at the prime of his career fell from a horse back. After the fateful fall he became paraplegic and after living in the so called vegetable state for nine years, eventually died of a heart attack. Perhaps it’s nature’s way to make us stay grounded.

电影里的演员都成为家喻户晓的任务，深受欢迎。我之前用谷歌与维基百科搜索了一下克里斯托弗·里夫。我意想不到的是，许多在电影或卡通电影中扮演超人角色的人，都离奇死亡。而克里斯托弗·里夫的死也充满神秘色彩。这被称为“超人诅咒”。克里斯托弗·里夫在事业处于鼎盛时期时从马背上摔了下来，全身瘫痪。9年后，最终死于突发心脏病。也许这是大自然告诫我们要安于现状。

The thoughts come to me like floods and every time I drift from the subject, I decide to write about. Whatever I write is extempore. I just can’t sit, review and edit. If I try to do that, I end up writing something entirely different, totally new, a flood of new thoughts overwhelms me. Already, what I have written here is more than what people like to read in a blog. I don’t know how to get back to tell you about the story of the ship I took for a sea trial. I have a mind to end this blog here, but I must finish writing today’s thoughts or else they will be lost for good.

思绪像潮水般涌来。每当偏离主题，我就决定写下来。我写什么都是即兴的。我不能仅仅坐着，检查和编辑。如果我这么做，我最终会写一些完全不同的、全新的东西，一大堆新的想法淹没了我。我在这里所写的不仅仅是人们喜欢在博客上阅读的内容。现在我不知道该怎么扭回去写船舶试航的故事。我想应该就这样结束这篇博客，但是我又必须写完今天的想法，否则就永远都失去它们了。

I will never be able to recall them, as there are hundreds of others waiting to be penned down…well, we can’t use this phrase now, this has become obsolete. I think thoughts waiting to be punched through the keyboard seems more appropriate to me, but to associate ‘punching’ with the thought even if it is for defining the activity of the keys doesn’t appeal to me. It’s like entering the temple with the shoes on or like extinguishing the wick of the lamp lit for the prayer by blowing at it. It’s not a done thing, my father would get angry, if I would do that. The exhaled breath is impure. The right way to do it is by stirring the air by waving the hand sharply near the flame. Any ritual may seem meaningless to one who doesn’t know why it is performed, but it has a deep significance for the believer who does it with deep reverence and love. I am getting too distracted. I will have to postpone, telling you about the sea trial until the next blog, but what about my Chinese fans who love to read my praises for China or those who like to read only that in my blogs, like the specific pages of erotic descriptions, young adults would read in the English novels replete with those, when I was growing up. Forget about video clips exchanged freely through WhatsApp and WeChat now a days, we didn’t have access to even stills for visual delights in those days and thus we had to invoke our imagination for all the pleasure. No wonder, I have it strong and going even still, although I don’t need to employ it for titillations, but means are there at my disposal alright.

我将永远无法回想起它们，因为还有成百上千的想法等着被写下来……嗯，我们现在不能用写这个词了，这已经过时了。我认为等待被键盘敲击的思想似乎更适合，但即使把它定义为按键的活动，我也不愿意把“冲”与“思考”联系在一起。这就像穿着鞋子进入神庙，或者像用嘴垂快熄灭灯芯一样。这是不应该的。如果我这么做，我父亲会生气。呼出的气是不洁的。正确的方法是通过在火焰附近挥动手来搅动空气。对于一个不知道为什么会这样做的人来说，任何仪式似乎都是没有意义的，但是对于那些怀着深深的崇敬和爱去做这件事的信徒来说，这个仪式有着深刻的意义。我太心烦意乱了。我得在下一篇博客里才能告诉你们试航的故事了。我的中国粉丝喜欢我的博客中对中国的赞美，有些粉丝喜欢读其中某些色情描述的页面。在我的成长过程中，年轻人可以从英语小说中读到。在那些日子里，没有WhatsApp和微信免费交换的视频片段，我们甚至无法获得视觉上的乐趣，因此更激发我们的想象力。虽然我不需要用它来进行挑逗。

I will visit the story of the fallen heroes later, but before that, let me talk of those kids who have to bury their desires of being different, for the sake of the love for their loved ones, because of the pressure of their loved ones, warning them of the pitfalls, telling them stories of failures of others, frightening them from trying to venture on untried paths, making them unsure, to the point of dropping the idea of doing something different altogether. And they end up walking the beaten tracks of life, learning the vocations not after their hearts, choosing the profession suggested by their parents or of the people held in high esteem by their parents, they end up doing something they don’t really like to do, but one that gives them a handsome salary, a respectable and comfortable livelihood.

稍后，我将拜读一些英雄事迹。但在此之前，我要先说，一些孩子出于对亲人的爱，迫于亲人的压力，最后埋葬了他们与众不同的心愿。亲人们用别人的失败告诫他们，在他们尝试另辟蹊径时吓唬他们，使他们犹豫，最终放弃。然后根据父母或其他人的建议选择做他们不喜欢做的，但却可以给他们带来可观的薪水，受人尊敬的地位和舒适生活的职业，而不是遵从他们的内心来选择职业。

It’s like choosing to marry the woman suggested by the parents over the one, one loves, on the premise that love grooms by living together, because the parents say so and they have a convincing argument that one should marry in one’s caste, to a woman of matching status and family lineage and you fall for that. Years later you discover the folly and rue over it, wring your hands and write drab prose Hahaha in place of the beautiful poetry you used to pen. Dissolving in self-pity or dreaming that things could have been better if you had married the girl you loved, you think you can have another peg of whiskey to drown your sadness.

这就像听从父母的安排，跟一个你不爱的女人结婚。因为父母说你应该找一个同一种姓、门当户对的女人结婚。多年之后，你觉得愚蠢至极，满怀悔恨。以前你能谱写优美的诗歌，现在你只能写单调的散文。在自怨自艾中，你会想，如果当初娶了你爱的女孩，一切会美好的多。你需要再来一杯威士忌来掩盖你的悲伤。

I am one such person, who could not choose the road, my genes were configured to help my physical being tread upon. I became an Engineer because my father thought, it will ensure me a good pay, a quality life and riches and yes it did give me all that but my soul never rested in contentment, my heart didn’t frolic, but it tried, it tries, it searches to gather in bits and pieces, elemental pleasure in those moments I could steal from my busy routines of attending the machines, to string my thoughts in verses.

我就是这样一个无法自主选择道路的人。我之所以成为一名工程师，是因为我父亲认为这份工作薪水较高，可以给我带来富裕的生活。确实如此。但我的灵魂无法获得满足。我一直尝试着从我忙碌的日常生活中汲取收集快乐的元素，并通过诗歌表达我的想法。

I could neither be a good engineer nor a writer of substance. Today, in the twilight of my life, I can’t blame my parents for my incompetence, my lack of success in my profession or my hobby. I really shouldn’t blame others for my ordinariness but somewhere, I feel something went wrong, because the path chosen for me was not the path meant for me. My advice to the young readers if they chance upon this would be, “Let your children do things they feel naturally inclined towards. Do not compare their academic scores with those who are better than them”. We are all unique. Aren’t we?

我既不能成为一名优秀的工程师，也不能成为一名作家。今天，在我生命的暮年，我不能因为我的无能，事业或爱好的失败而责怪父母。我不该因为我的平凡而责怪他人，但我觉得有些地方出错了，因为我所选择的道路并不是我的路。如果有些年轻读者也面临同样的问题，我建议:“让你的孩子做一些他们打心里喜欢的事。不要拿孩子的学习成绩和其他人做比较。”我们都是独一无二的。不是吗?

印度网友和Navneet的互动：

Suresh Rao9 months ago

navneet

YOU are unique and a success story. Good advice to parents about not comparing academic scores.

你是独一无二的，是一个励志故事。建议父母不要比较学习成绩。

 

Navneet

Thanks SureshJi- Success is a relative thing and we are all unique. It all depends on how we look at the life, at our achievements and failures. Well, I am not sad and I don't think I have done poorly but sometimes I think, I could have done better

感谢SureshJi——成功是相对的，我们都是独一无二的。这完全取决于我们如何看待生活，看待成功与失败。我并不悲伤，我也不认为自己做得不好，但有时我想，我本可以做得更好。

 

 

Swarajya

A good piece of writing as usual Navneet. You have a real flare for writing even being an Engineer.I agree that children should not be put in undue pressures in the matter of studies or choice of their professional career.

The interest created by you about China has prompted me to get a book titled " China A to Z" by May Lee Chai and Winberg Chai from Milton Library Atlanta.

Gopal had written a blog on Spain.I could learn that Spain was ruled by Moors of North Africa for 700 years.After reconquesta they established their rule overthrowing Moors who were Muslims.I have brought from the same library a book titled "Spain -the centre of the world 1519-1682 by Robert Goodwin.

Eagerly awaiting your write up on the Test of Ship for its Sea Worthiness.

这是一篇好文章。即使是一名工程师，你的文采很好。我同意孩子们在学习或选择职业生涯时不应受到不适当的压力。

你的博客使我对中国产生浓厚的兴趣，我特地找了一本书《中国a to Z》，作者是梅•李•柴(May Lee Chai)和温伯格•柴(Winberg Chai)。

Gopal写了一篇关于西班牙的博客。我知道西班牙被北非的摩尔人统治了700年。在夺回政权之后，他们建立了推翻穆斯林教徒的统治。我从同一个图书馆带来了一本名为《西班牙——世界中心1519-1682》的书，作者是罗伯特·古德温(Robert Goodwin) 。

急切地等待着关于船的航海性能测试的故事。

Navneet

Thanks Swarajya sir, I feel nice to hear that you have brought a book to read about China. Putting our prejudices aside, I would say, there is a lot to learn from China for us. Their dedication to work, their no nonsensical approach, keep away from politics, strong nationalistic feelings are some of the plus points we can adopt. Will write about my sea trial experience shortly.

谢谢Swarajya先生，听说你带了一本书来了解中国，我很高兴。我想说，抛开偏见，中国有很多值得我们学习的地方。他们对工作的奉献，务实的做法，远离政治，强烈的民族主义情绪是我们可以采纳的部分。不久我将会写的试航经历。

 

Geeta Kashyap

Some regrets are a part of life. Nobody can escape that; wrong path, choice, despite best attempt things going bad, getting brickbats for no mistake of ours and so on. Is this the so called KARMA!?

Navneetji, psychologists deal with what you have written everyday, yet no long term solutions have been worked out. There is no single formula for critical decision making.Ultimately, it is a trial and error subject and as they say, success has many parents, while failure has none! I guess we have to make peace with whatever life has offered us and how we have utilised it.

I shared your article with my son who will be graduating this year, so that he could analyse and understand some of the nagging issues better. As a parent with some knowledge of psychology, I struggle to balance these issues on a day-to-day basis. On some days, it is a success and on some other days...

遗憾是生活的一部分。没有人可以逃脱；一旦做了错误的选择，尽管做了最好的尝试，事情反而变得糟糕了，这并不是我们的错误。这就是所谓的因果报应吗?

Navneetji，心理学家处理你每天写的东西，但是没有长期的解决方案。关键决策没有单一的公式。最终，这是一个尝试和错误的主题，正如他们所说，成功有很多父母，而失败却没有!我想，无论生活给我们什么，我们如何利用它，我们都必须与之和平共处。

我给儿子分享了你的文章，他今年就毕业了，这样他就可以更好地分析和理解一些恼人的问题。作为一个有心理学知识的家长，我很难在日常生活中平衡这些问题。在某些日子里，它是成功的，在其他的日子里……

Navneet

Thanks Geeta for your comment. Yes, Hindu Philosophy of Karma is very convincing, when it comes to seeking the answers for "Why things happen the way they do". True, the parents have big dreams for their children but all children can't get in IITs. When I was growing up, the awareness was less and the options were limited. I am happy that children of today are quite aware and well informed but even still there's a lot of parental pressure on them to perform far beyond their ability. Every time I read about a suicide by a child studying in Kota preparatory institutions, I feel saddened. But then in today's paper once again there is a news of all "Super 30" cracking IIT entrance exam. I have found a topic for another article. Let's see if I can complete it :)). Say, best of luck to your son from my side. You are a wise mother, I am sure you will be able to guide him on a path he decides to choose to tread upon.

感谢Geeta的评论。是的，当用来寻找“为什么事情会发生的方式”的答案时，印度的羯摩哲学很有说服力。诚然，父母对孩子们有着远大的梦想，但不是所有的孩子都能进入IITs。在我成长的过程中，我的自主意识越来越少，选择也很有限。我很高兴今天的孩子们都很有见识，也很有见地，但即使如此，父母对他们施加的压力也远远超出了他们的能力。每当我读到在Kota又有一个孩子自杀的消息时，我都很难过。但在今天的报纸上，又有一篇关于“超级30”的高考的新闻。我找到了另一篇文章的主题。让我们看看我是否能完成它:)。祝你孩子好运。你是一个睿智的母亲，我相信你将能够引导他走上一条他自主选择的道路。

 

Navneet

Hello Ushaji- These small encouragements are enough for me to pull on :). Success and failures are very relative terms and on the big canvas of life, it's the satisfaction from life that one can draw is what matters. I am pretty thankful for the good life that I have led. I am not sure if it had been better had I been given a chance to pursue ordinary B.A. but in those days only the boys who were not bright would pursue B.A. such was the prevalent misconception. One has to choose one's stream in 9th standard. It's too early for one to know about what he would like to be and parents have only one yardstick to measure your ability and lots of dreams for you. I will write stories about my life at sea. Have many plans to write a lot but as I said in the blog, I get little time to pursue my hobby.

你好ushaji -这些小的鼓励都足以让我开心。在人生的大画布上，成功与失败都是相对而言的，人生所能得到的满足感才是最重要的。我非常感恩我所拥有的美好生活。我不知道如果我当初考取其他学士学位，生活是否会变得更美好。但在那些日子里，只有不聪明的男生才会就读学士学位，这是根深蒂固的错误观念。一个人必须在第九个标准中选择自己的。一个人要知道他想成为什么样的人还为时过早，父母只有一个标准来衡量你的能力和梦想。以后会写一些海上的故事。有很多计划要写，但正如我在博客中说的那样，我几乎没有时间去追求我的爱好。

 

Ushasuryamani

Navneet

You are a very good writer...no doubt about this

As for being a very good Engineer, only you will know. But to test newly built ships is something great !

Thank God my parents brought me up without comparing me with others. But my wanting to do Botany Main and Marine Biology remained a dream as my father said, " I'll be marrying you off...so don't apply for science Subjects. I will become a wasteful study"..I did Fine Arts and I have no regrets today..accept what you are given and make the best of it is the best attitude

Thank God we have not forced our Children too They had all the freedom to choose their future!

Yes I have seen parents compelling their children pusue subjects that were their dreams ! What a tragedy..But Navneet, Obedience to Parents those days was a duty...not so now. Now, most of the parents are not that demanding!!

Times are changing though there are still a handful who want their kids to take up Engineering or Medicine!

by the way. been wanting to ask you for a long time..

Why don't you blog on some interesting - funny, serious, sad, angry ..incidents / experience on the Sea ? Look forward to reading them

毫无疑问，你是一个很优秀的作家……

是否是一个很好的工程师，只有你自己知道。但是测试新造的船是非常了不起的!

感谢上帝，我的父母没有拿我和别人比较。但是我想做植物学和海洋生物学仍然是一个梦想，因为我父亲说:“你将来是要嫁人的，所以不要申请理科。学了也浪费了。”我今天学的是美术，我不后悔。接受你所给予的，充分利用它是最好的态度。

感谢上帝，我们没有强迫我们的孩子，他们有选择未来的自由!

是的，我看到过父母强迫他们的孩子做他们的梦！！悲剧. .但是Navneet，以前，服从父母是一种责任…现在不是。现在，大多数家长都不是那么苛刻!!

时代在变，尽管仍有少数人希望他们的孩子从事工程或医学!

顺便说一下。我一直想问你一个问题。

你为什么不写一些有趣的、严肃的、悲伤的、愤怒的海上的事件/经验的博客呢？？期待阅读。

 

Suchisree/ Sree Kumar

Dear Navneeth,

Taking a newly built ship into the sea and proving its worthiness using all your knowledge and talent is a dream job.

Believe me, you are a success and your writings are of quality. This is an authorized verdict.

Regards,

Suchisree.

把一艘新造的船带进大海，用你所有的知识和才能证明它的价值是一份理想的工作。

相信我，你是成功的，你的作品很好。

祝好，

Suchisree

Navneet9 months ago

Hahaha Suchi Sree for many who haven't ever even ridden a boat, working on a ship is a life full of immense adventure and pleasure. I don't know how much of dream job it is but if I get up at night dreaming about being on the ship, I wake up in cold sweat Hahaha

哈哈哈Suchi Sree，对许多从未坐过船的人来说，在船上工作是一种充满冒险和快乐的生活。我不知道这是一份多么理想的工作，但是如果我梦见自己在船上，我就会冒冷汗惊醒。