中国军队新兵应征人员身体素质差，原因出在过度自慰和软饮料上 [英国媒体]

-------------译者：wxfing-审核者：themoment------------



An increasing number of young Chinese people are too fat and unhealthy to join their nation's military. 

越来越多的中国年轻人由于太胖和不健康而不能加入国家军队。

In just one city in China more than half - 57 per cent - of try-outs were rejected by the army because they failed the physical exam. 

在中国的一个城市就有超过57%的人没有通过测试而被拒绝参军，因为他们没通过健康体检。

According to the state-controlled People's Liberation Army Daily newspaper wannabe soldiers in the communist republic are also being found to suffer from liver and kidney problems caused by junk food and alcohol.

在社会主义共和国，想要参军的人也被发现患有由垃圾食品和酒精引起的肝脏和肾脏疾病。
据国家媒体解放军报的消息，

One in five was said to be simply too fat to join. 

据说有1/5的人仅仅是因为太胖而不能参军。

-------------译者：wxfing-审核者：themoment------------



About eight per cent of men applying were found to have unusually large testicular veins caused by excessive masturbation. 

大约有8%的男性被发现有由过度手淫引起的睾丸静脉异常变大症状。

Eyesight too has been found to be substandard in many applicants - making them unfit for duty in the largest army in the world.

在许多申请者中，视力也被认为是不合格的-这使得他们不适合在世界上最大的军队中服役。

Senior staff blame poor diets and and technology including smartphones for the apparent dip in standards among Chinese youth.
一位高级军官把中国年轻人健康标准明显下降的原因归咎于不良饮食习惯和使用包括智能手机等科技工具。

It also suggested that the high mineral content in water was partly to blame for liver and gallbladder problems.

研究还表明，高矿物质含量的水也是导致肝脏和胆囊问题的部分原因。

But the report - spread by social media app WeChat - did attempt to reassure patriots by stressing that in the USA 80 per cent of applicants are rejected. 

但是为了安抚爱国者，这份在微信上传播的报告还强调说在美国遭到拒绝的申请者达到了80%。




-------------译者：wxfing-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Happy_German_Girl
The photographs DM chose for the article ... I cannot stop laughing. :-D

对于作者给这篇文章选的图，我忍不住要笑。

willie.boy
They don't look much like Ukippers to me. 

他们看起来不太像英国独立党的人。

The Parlophone Party
At least they know if they're male or female.

至少他们知道他们自己是男的还是女的。

Tommy1635
if it's true it needs nippin in the bud

如果这是真的，就需要在幼年阻止他们。

A.nelf
I bet their favourite meal is cream of sum yung guy.

我敢打赌他们最喜欢的一顿饭是这些短小的中国人这么淫荡

CATTYandCO
can I join if I Fan Mai Gu Li's?

我能加入吗？如果我 Fan Mai Gu Li's?

Bevers
To much five fingered witch for the Communist Chinese it must be why Corbyn and Momentum admire the Communists so much because they are #ankers as well.

太多的五指女巫为社会主义中国。。。卡宾和她的支持者如此的钦佩共产主义，因为他们也。。。

Happy_German_Girl
I surprised that the tiny Chinese are such wnkers.

我很惊讶，这些年轻的中国人这么柔弱。

DaveBacon
Absurd story

荒谬的故事。

-------------译者：cyber power-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Jonno -> DaveBacon
It's called 'clickbait'. A sex-related headline will generate clicks which in turn will generate money for the Mail. Money money money!

它被称为“标题党”。一个与性有关的标题会产生点击，而这反过来又会为邮报带来金钱。钱钱钱!

DaveBacon -> DaveBacon
Absolutely 

那是绝对的。

YaaBooSucks
What a bunch of ....... Hmmm.... can't think of a word to describe them!

一大堆的......嗯....想不出一个词来形容他们！

Geri Atric
Cough...! And again... Reject! 

咳嗽…!一次又一次……拒绝!

ouchagain
One child policy what do you expect ?

独生子女政策，你还能期望什么?

dumbanddumber
keeps the money in the bank

把钱存入银行吧。

Baseball Fury
"You stop touching wee wee!"

想感动我，省省吧！

Neejur Kryakshun
SPER Me the gory deails please.

请把我的血淋淋的痛苦给我。

Mr. Smith
South China Sea waxed Dolpin unit reporting for duty

南海海豚部队前来报到。

Geri Atric
Love the comments! 

喜欢这种评论！

Lobby Lud
Useful tips on how avoid conscxtion.

有用提示，这是逃避兵役的好办法。

Gillian Pounds -> Lobby Lud
lightbulb moment!

茅塞顿开！

prescott
the trouser snake needs a Chinese dumpling from ting tong 

蛇纹裤需要一种来自中国的饺子。

Happy_German_Girl -> prescott
Trouser snake .... love that one. Haha :-) Translated and taken into my word stock.

蛇纹裤...喜欢这个...哈哈。翻译一下然后保存在我的词库里。

-------------译者：w7wx9xo0-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Lajunto
Ok fair to blame 'yanks' on this one.

Lajunto
在这方面责怪"美国佬"很公平。

The thinker
Only hard drinks from now on. You must get up to 10 times a day.

The thinker
从现在开始只喝烈性酒，然后你就可以一天十次。

Whawha
Bunch of W- anchors. Lol

Whawha
一群淫荡的人，哈哈。

robert christie
4 times a day keeps the doctor away and gets no one in the family way !

robert christie
一天4次让你不用再看医生，也不会有谁怀孕！

intereverything
What's that old joke are you fu king the chef? No I'm wan king the waiter

intereverything
是那个老笑话你在操厨师吗？不，我在对着服务生打手枪。(什么梗？不懂)

Grumpy Old Matelot
During a weekend duty I can normally crack out at least 8 a day on top of that I order big eats like pizza or a curry!

Grumpy Old Matelot
在周末值班时，当我大吃一顿彼萨或咖喱达到颠峰状态时，我可以一天来8次。

Mestral
How did they define "excessive"?

Mestral
他们是如何定义"过渡"的？

robert christie -> Mestral
My thoughts too !

robert christie -> Mestral
我也是这么想的！

Theo
...........unusually large testicular veins !! My how times have changed. When I was a lad all we had to worry about was getting hairy palms !

Theo
.......异常大的蛋静脉！世道变得真快。在我小时候都只是担心手掌长毛！(父子吓唬小孩手淫会得毛手掌。)

SquireDacre -> Theo
You believed that too did you?

SquireDacre -> Theo
原来你也相信那个说法是吗？

-------------译者：勃列日涅夫-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Gillian Pounds
No use having boys that are too eager to get their weapons out at the slightest thing.

就因为一点小事就把家伙亮出来，这样的人没啥用处

Victoria
Sorry only read the headline. So they're are a bunch of......

对不起，只看了标题。所以他们是一群......

Mike
No wonder. They drink pop then go for a pop shot.

难怪，他们喝汽水然后再像汽水冒泡一样开枪

covert-ops
The triggers been pulled so there off to eat at stick fingers

扳机要准备忍受粘乎乎的手指

klyonskalmenson
Damn Yankers

该死的美国佬们

Wilts
But do they have to Work a week in Hand ?
但是他们必须要“撸”一个星期吗？

Mr.Dog. -> Wilts
WOK a week in hand.. 

回复楼上，是炒一星期的中餐

LeapyLee -> Wilts
Pmsl ....Brilliant comments

回复楼上，哈哈……精彩评论

Billygrump
Perhaps here is a market for those Silicon dolls from the other day.

可能过段时间超市会卖这种玩具兵人

RocketJSquirrel
and Poor Eyesight ... 

也会影响视力

doug
poor fitness?you try and goosestep like these guysthey are fit

身体素质差？你试试像这些家伙们一样走正步，他们身体很好。

Skadi -> doug
Those are the fit ones. The prospective recruits are the ones "too fat"

回复楼上，那些人当然没问题。说的是未来的新兵“太胖“

CannotTakeItWithYou -> doug
They need a week's r&r to recover after marching. 

踢完正步后，他们得卧床休息一礼拜

-------------译者：璐璐爱丽丝-审核者：hht288------------

thelads
bankers

资本主义者

Tacit
How much is excessive?

什么程度算过度？

klyonskalmenson -> Tacit
Come again

下次再来

LeapyLee -> Tacit
Lol

大笑出声

pastit
If you share this the caption changes to ..Too fat and unfit! Can you believe that. Just try it. Its another way they can advertise by getting the public to share crap then changing the actual stuff you shared!

如果你把标题改成..太胖了不合格！你会相信吗？试试看。换句话说他们可以通过诱导公众分享垃圾言论的方式来宣传从而扭曲你报道的真相！

Urbanfox
So it is rightly called self abuse.

所以参军就是所谓的自虐。

backfire
So it does make you blind.

所以它让你蒙蔽双目。

A.nelf -> backfire
Nothing wrong with my eyes but I am going a bit deaf.

我眼睛没问题但我听力不太好。

Aureus
I would question the Medical Examiner's motives!

我质疑检查医生怀有的动机！

Clint
Must be a Brighton Chinese academy.

这一定是布莱顿中国学院。

-------------译者：璐璐爱丽丝-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Bettyswolloks
Dunno the Americans seem to wage war quite well off of wane king and Pepsi!!

不知道美国人企图发动战争让衰落的国王和百事可乐富起来的么！！

Lajunto -> Bettyswolloks
Hey we've adapted.... what can I say.

嘿我们都已经习惯了.....我能说什么呢。

Bored and Ignored
They obviously need to give the troops some North Korean comfort women...

他们显然需要给军队提供一些朝鲜慰安妇......

Big Vern
Pte Wan Ching says it's all lies!

Pte Wan Ching 说这都是谎言！

deadeye3
THAT'S THE WOMEN. SO HOW ABOUT THE MEN?

那是女人。所以那男人怎么样？

thelads -> deadeye3
pmsl

笑死我了

Paul
who come to this conclusionmore important how did they come to this conclusion.

谁得出这个结论不重要，更重要的是他们怎么得出这个结论的。

cynicalme
Faking application forms eh.

伪造申请表格哈哈哈。

Parade
Hahahahahahaha omg this is hilarious.

哈哈哈哈哈哈omg这好搞笑。

Knowmad
STOP OR I WILL SHOOT. Have you got a tissue ?

站住否则我开枪了。你有纸巾吗？

covert-ops
Vice admiral W. ankers said it's time to stiffen up. To get a grip and take hold of themselves. They've come along way for this to shrivel up and let it pop.

海军中将W. ankers说是时候要态度强硬了。要落实行动掌控他们。因为这他们已经一路走向萎靡并且这已成为了趋势。

-------------译者：璐璐爱丽丝-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

moviemaker -> covert-ops
Ha ha and my day x

哈哈我的天x

Knowmad
An army that does not accept all comers.

一个不接受所有应征者的军队。

boston21
So they are largely a bunch of w....rs with dodgy teeth.

所以他们是一群手淫者？

YoungLondoner. -> boston21
Really? from a nation known for their dodgy teeth

真的吗？这真的是来自一个以他们狡猾的战士而闻名的国家么？

colin
An army of toss hers haha that's funny

一个手淫的军队哈哈真有趣。

Kevin Bass
Damn...

我了个去.....

expat welshman
So 7 up is a problem.

所以七喜是个问题。

fartin_martin
They do all seem to sport the sex face?

他们似乎都是满脸欲望地训练吗？

thelads -> fartin_martin
lol

大声地笑了

madmanc
they should recruit women. every other video coming out of china is of women fighting over a cheating bloke.

他们应该招女兵，每一部来自中国的电视剧都在播女人们在与老公的情妇作斗争。

PX4 Storm
Same problem ANTIFA has...

同样的问题反法西斯也有.......

Logan44
Think of their poor eyesight as well.

同时也想想他们糟糕的视力吧。

-------------译者：wxfing-审核者：龙腾翻译总管------------

Rupertbehr
Methinks the poor eyesight maybe down to the combining of the two aforementioned issues those being computers and 'winking' ;)

我认为视力不好可能是源于上述两方面的结合，用电脑过多和频繁眨眼。

SamF
"But the report - spread by social media app WeChat - did attempt to reassure patriots by stressing that in the USA 80 per cent of applicants are rejected." It's called higher standards.

但这份由社交媒体应用微信传播的报告，确实试图通过强调在美国80%的申请者被拒绝，以此来打消爱国者的顾虑。这叫做更高的标准

Skadi -> SamF
...or just that there are more fat/unfit people trying out in America than in China per ratio.

或者美国应征人员的肥胖比例比中国的高。