穆斯林妇女说从未在英国感到害怕今天却怕了 [英国媒体]

Ihave despaired at much of what I have seen and heard over the past 15 years. There was a time when people asked me quite frequently whether I was pro al-Qaida; whether I thought the 9/11 attacks and the 7/7 bombings were a good thing. I thought it was a bit offensive to ask that, but I was only in my early 20s and I reasoned that at least they were asking rather than assuming I was sympathetic to hateful ideology.

过去十五年的所见所闻已经让我绝望。有段时间人们频繁地问我是否亲基地组织；是否觉得911事件和77爆炸【伦敦地铁爆炸案】是好事？我觉得问那些问题有点冒犯，但当时我才二十几岁，我推测他们仅仅对此感到疑惑，而不是假定我对恐怖分子抱有同情心。

Time moves on, however, and no one ever asked me if I thought the butchering ofLee Rigby was good or what I thought of Charlie Hebdo, or Boko Haram or the atrocities of Islamic State across the world. I suppose that’s progress, but it doesn’t feel like progress in the grand scheme of things.

然而，随着时间的推移，不再有人问我是不是觉得伦敦街头凶杀案是好事或者我对查理周刊事件、博科圣地【 伊斯兰教原教旨主义组织】或伊斯兰国在全世界暴行的想法。我想这应该是进步，但是从大局考虑，这并不是进步。

The fact is that over the past few years, I have felt increasingly ill at ease. This is what it’s like each time I hear of yet another atrocity. First, there is always horror, and a hope – a fervent hope – that the perpetrators do not consider themselves Muslim. Then I detest myself for hoping that, but I know if they do claim to be Muslim, the backlash will be terrible. It frightens me.


事实上在过去几年里，我感觉越来越不自在了。每次当我听到发生恶性事件，开始，我总是觉得厌恶然后是希望——热切的希望——嫌疑人不会自称穆斯林。我对自己有这种想法感到憎恶，但是我知道如果他们声称自己是穆斯林，那么（社会大众）对穆斯林的反弹将是可怕的。这让我害怕。

Next, I feel I have a duty to distance Islam from the acts of supposed Muslims. I resent feeling I have to do so; to “out” my faith as non-violent. I am tired of defending my belief system and myself. I have committed no crimes.

接下来，我觉得我有义务把伊斯兰和穆斯林的行为隔离开。我感觉我不得不这么做。把我的信仰从“暴力”中解脱出来（意译，不确定）。我已经疲于为我的宗教信仰和自己辩护，我又没犯罪。

And though I am awed at the outpouring of grief – at the solidarity with those whose safety and way of life has been so cruelly violated – I wonder why we rarely see similar outpourings when atrocities are conducted in non-western countries. I become angry, but then I worry that this anger, while understandable and valid, is dangerous and divisive. I worry about the impact on me.

而且尽管我对那些生命安全和生活方式被突然破坏的人们所显示出来的团结和举国的悲痛感到惊叹 -----但是我想知道为什么当非西方国家遭受这种暴行的时候，很难看到类似的情绪流露。我变得愤怒，但是接着我开始担心这种愤怒的情绪(尽管可以理解而且正当)是危险且容易造成不和的。我担心这会影响我。

Since the Paris attacks I have been more frightened than ever. There has been a300% increase in reported Islamophobic attacks. A number of Islamic centres, including the Finsbury Park mosque, have been targeted in arson attacks. This is against a backdrop of videos of verbal and physical Islamophobic attacks on public transport – and it is notable that, while people are happy to film these incidents, few appear keen to step in and assist.

当巴黎遭受袭击之后我比以往更感到害怕。据报道，伊斯兰恐惧症(讨厌任何和伊斯兰有关的东西)已经上升了300％。很多伊斯兰中心，包括芬斯伯里公园清真寺，已经被纵火袭击。这就是那些视频拍摄的背景---公共交通工具上，人们对伊斯兰进行口头和人身攻击---值得注意的是，虽然人们拍的很高兴，但是几乎没人表现出强烈参与或者协助的想法。

And last week’s headline in the Sun, that one in five British Muslims have “sympathy for jihadis” – a fearmongering distortion based on questionable research – has done nothing to make Muslims feel safe or supported. It is certainly not the case that everyone is out to attack us, but we cannot be blamed for feeling frightened.

且上个星期太阳报的的标题是“五分之一的英国穆斯林对圣战者感到同情”——这个失真的谣言建立在问卷调查上——一点都没让穆斯林感到安全或者被支持。当然这并不是指每个人都站出来袭击我们，但是我们不应该因为感到害怕而被指责。

I’m a Muslim female of small stature. I use public transport to get everywhere. I often come home late. I wear the hijab. I am an easy target. But I have never, aside from one incident where a man called me “fucking scum” and then left me alone, had any trouble. I mean, I think a boy on the bus called me “clothhead” circa 1999, but we can hardly count that.

我是小个子的穆斯林女性，到每个地方都使用公共交通工具。我经常晚回家。我戴面纱。我是个容易（攻击）的目标。但是我从来没有陷入麻烦，除了有一次一个男人叫我“他妈的人渣”然后就离开了。我的意思是，我想大约是在1999年，公交车上有男孩叫我“包头巾”，但是我们从不会细数这些。

In fact, sometimes I am amazed that I have never had a torrent of abuse thrown at me or been beaten up – yet.事实上，有些时候我感到很惊讶因为我从未被辱骂或者殴打过。

Because this run of good luck can’t last for ever, can it? One day it simply has to run out. People who look like me and speak like me are being given hell every day and I am not. And what if, one day, it is me? I doubt a full and frank theological discussion will dissuade my abuser. What am I going to say – “Actually, I’m a liberal, secular Shia, and Isis hate me probably more than they hate you, so let’s be friends”? Hardly. And I’m not the sort to inflame a situation by hurling insults back, so I’d have to sit there and take it.

这种好运气能持续多久呢？还能持续吗？也许哪天好运气就用光了。穿着像我说话像我(穆斯林)的人们现在每天都活在地狱之中，但我不是。是否有一天会轮到我呢？我怀疑一个全面而坦诚的神学讨论会会阻止那些施虐者(有伊斯兰恐惧症的人)。我会说什么呢？——“事实上，我是个自由的，世俗的什叶派穆斯林。和你们比较起来，isis可能更恨我们。所以让我们做朋友吧！”这种情况几乎不可能发生。而且我不是那种遭受侮辱就发怒的人，所以我会坐在那里默默忍受。

It feels terrible to write those words. And if, one day, it becomes more threatening than that, I don’t have the physical strength to fight off anyone who assaults me. And if I ran I wouldn’t get very far. I’d have no chance.

写下这些文字让我感觉很糟糕。如果有一天，它(外部环境)变得更具有威胁性，我没有任何能力反抗那些袭击我的人。就算逃也不能跑太远。我没有机会。

I have never in my life been as aware of my Muslimness as I am now. I have never been fearful. I have lived in Britain all my life and it is my home and I love it, but now I am frightened of things that only a short time ago would have caused me no discomfort at all.

在我生命中，我从未像现在这样意识到自己是个穆斯林。我以前从未如此害怕。我从小就住在英国，这是我的家而且我很爱它，但是现在我很害怕一些事情,然而那些事情在之前根本不会让我觉得不适。

I roam around London, my home city, in a constant state of high alert; hyper-aware of a look or a person walking behind me. I have been wearing the hijab for 20 years and it has never hindered me. But in the past few days I have, for the first time, had fleeting thoughts about taking it off. I have no intention of doing it, but that’s what things have come to. My visibility puts me at risk, and a small part of me thinks that the only way to survive is to deny that I’m Muslim.

我处于高度戒备状态下在我的家乡---伦敦漫步。一个眼神或者有人跟随都能让我高度敏感。我已经戴头巾戴了二十年，这从未妨碍我。但是就在过去这几天，我第一次有了脱掉它的短暂想法。目前我还不想这么做，然而有些事情已经改变。我的装束让我处在危险之中，我思想的一小部分告诉我，唯一的存活方式就是否认我是穆斯林。

In almost 10 years of working in mental health, with often violent, dangerous, desperately unwell people, I have never had any trouble because of my faith. But now I am waiting for the day a patient refuses to work with me, or does worse, because I am Muslim.

在精神健康行业工作了差不多十年，我经常和有暴力、危险、极度不适的人一起工作，从未因为信仰沾上麻烦。但是如今我总觉得有一天病人会拒绝和我一起工作，或者更糟糕，因为我是穆斯林。

Some time ago an old friend said to me: “It won’t always be Muslims who are the enemy. One day it will be someone else. One day it will be different and it will be easier.”

前段时间一位老朋友对我说：“敌人不可能永远都是穆斯林。总有一天变成其他人。那时候一切就不同了，会容易一些。”

At the time I nodded along. But now I don’t believe it. I don’t believe that it will get better; that there will be a day when people like me are not the enemy. Why should I? Look at the state we’re in. Look at the government’s anti-terror strategy, which puts us all under suspicion. Look at the continued conflict in the Middle East.

当时我点点头，但是现在我不相信了。我不相信情况会变好，有一天人们会喜欢我，而不是我们的敌人。为什么我会这么觉得？看看我们所在的国家吧！看看政府的反恐政策吧！，把我们每个人都当做怀疑对象。看看中东持续不断的冲突吧！

So is this how it is to be? Discredited by the media and politicians; being told my way of life is “dangerous”; being thrown off planes as a “security measure”; being told that people like me are not wanted?

现状如此，接下来会怎样呢？(穆斯林)被政客和媒体抹黑；(人们)被告知我这种生活方式是危险的；(穆斯林)被从飞机上赶下来作为一个“安全措施”；被告知大家不想要像我这样的穆斯林。

My family came here because their lives were threatened in their own land; where am I supposed to go? How am I supposed to live like that? How are any of us supposed to live like that?

我的家庭来到英国是因为在他们的自己的土地上，他们的生命受到威胁。我应该去哪儿呢？我就应该在那种处境下生活吗？我们穆斯林就应该那样生存吗？

You cannot fully understand unless it is your reality too. You cannot understand the helplessness and the rage I feel when I hear my bright, sensitive, gentle 11-year-old nephew has had to deflect racist and Islamophobic comments from his ignorant schoolmates.

你们无法感同身受，除非你也是穆斯林。你们无法理解我感受到的愤怒和无助，当我听到我那聪明、敏感和温柔的11岁侄子不得不面对他那无知同学的种族主义和恐伊斯兰的言论。

I am terrified for the world my sister’s children are going to have to live in; for all those at the mercy of people who spread hate and promote aggression. I wish that Isis were the only enemy in that regard. Sadly, Isis is simply the tip of the iceberg, which is showing no sign of shrinking.

我很担心我姐姐的孩子不得不在这种环境中长大；在那些传播仇恨和促使对立的人们摆布下无能为力。我希望isis是这方面唯一的敌人。可悲的是，isis只是冰山一角，丝毫没有融化的迹象。


This is one where it's up to Non-Muslims to fight against the racism. People like me (white, male, natively English) simply have to confront abuse where we see it. We're the only ones who can marginalise racist attackers. It's on us.

现在轮到非穆斯林和种族主义战斗了。像我这样的人（白人，男性，本身说英语）看到了有（针对穆斯林的）虐待就应该勇敢地面对。我们是唯一能让种族歧视边缘化的人。责任在我们身上！

Very sad to read your testimony here, Masuma. Please know that there are many, many people who support you in your choice to wear the hijab and express your faith and culture. Many non-Muslim people value the differing expressions of Islam in friends and family & the diverse contributions Muslims bring culturally to our nation. Unfortunately, ignorant voices often get more attention than their nonsense deserves. I hope you can rise above it & kno…

Masuma，很难过在这儿读到你的文章。请你知道还有很多人支持你们戴头巾，表达你们的信仰和文化。很多非穆斯林看重的是伊斯兰文化在朋友和家庭中不同的表达，还有穆斯林对国家作出的不同贡献。不幸的是，无知的声音总是得到过多的关注（他们的废话不配），我希望你能克服它

I read the first 5 pages of comments and was dismayed at the lack of human sympathy for this lady's fears. While I cannot say I fully understand her fears in the sense that I am not Muslim, I understand enough to feel for her. Fear is a horrible thing to live with on a daily basis. My husband works in Brussels and I have long worried that the city might be attacked. The situation over the last couple of weeks has not helped the slow burning anxie…

读了前五页的评论，令我感到沮丧的是，人们对这个女士的恐惧缺乏人类的同情心。我不能说完全理解她的感受，因为我不是穆斯林。但我对恐惧有充分的了解。忍受恐惧是一件可怕的事情。我的丈夫在布鲁克林工作，我长时间担心这座城市可能会被袭击。最近几周的状况并没有帮助我缓解焦虑。

I am really sorry to read this. But thanks for writing it. And take care (though that probably doesn't sound very good either, it is heartfelt).

读到这些我感到很抱歉，但是感谢你写这篇文章。同时小心点（尽管听上去不好听，但是发自内心。）

I'm mortified that you feel this way. it is not surprising you feel uneasy, but be assured the vast majority of people would not entertain any thoughts of persecuting you in any way. The British are far from perfect, but a sense of fair play does tend to run through the British psyche.

你有这样的感受让我很羞愧。你感到不安，这并不令人意外。请放心，绝大多数英国人不会怀有迫害你们的想法。英国人远非完美，但是公平的理念往往贯穿在英国人的心里。